DEAD ISSUE
*****
Lynn Fiore: Last one undressed is a rotten sardine.
Charlie: We're gonna do something new. Something I heard about this afternoon from Eddie.
Lynn: After the video.
Charlie: Oh, this is better than the video, believe me.
Lynn: Charlie, better than the video?
Charlie: Believe me!
Lynn: Better, how?
Charlie: Stand up. Come here. This is weird even for me, but it's right up your alley.
Lynn: Talk to me....
Charlie: It's like this...if your body feels like it's dying when we're making love....
Lynn: Very funny.
Charlie: No, it's a fact. Now, just relax. (Chokes her)
Lynn: Charlie, I can't relax, you're hurting me!
Charlie: This is a sort of sexual excitement you've never felt before. I'm doing it for you, dammit.
Lynn: (Gets him in the stomach) What are you doing? You stay away from me! (Throws a vase at him)
Charlie: Lynn.... Come on, don't do that....
Schanke: Do you understand no comment, nada comment, niente comment, neanda comment?
Stonetree: Is Lynn all right?
Schanke: Okay, she's all right, she's all right. Perp forced his way inside, almost killed her. I mean, you should see her neck. She nailed him with a 22 long--ladies special.
Nick: So, it was self defense?
Schanke: Right. Two shots in the chest. She shoots better than most cops wives I know. I mean, I can't get Myra near a weapon.
Nick: Hey wait a second, Ms. Fiore...is that our Inspector's wife?
Stonetree: Who phoned it in?
Schanke: She did.
Stonetree: Where is she?
Schanke: She's inside.
Stonetree: She asked me to inform her husband, and I phoned up to the cottage, and he wasn't there.
Stonetree: Lynn, I'm so sorry.
Lynn: I've done a horrible thing Joe, I don't want any special consideration.
Stonetree: We'll get this over as quickly as possible. As soon as we get your statement, we'll get a doctor to take a look at your neck.
Schanke: He looks familiar.
Nick: You always say that Schank, and guess what? You're usually wrong.
Schanke: Well, here's your chance to become a wealthy man. I'll bet you fifty, no a hundred bucks that this guy has got a file as long as my-
Stonetree: Schanke?
Schanke: Yeah, boss?
Stonetree: Get my car brought around to the rear of the building.
Schanke: You got it.
Arthur: Officer?
Nick: Hey, Arthur. You first on the scene?
Arthur: Uh, yes, sir, me and my partner.
Nick: Forget the sir, okay? My name's Nick. Mrs. Fiore looks pretty calm now. How was she when you arrived?
Arthur: Well, she was crying. She was saying over and over again, 'It's all my fault.'
Nick: She didn't tell you that she shot the man in self defense?
Arthur: Oh, yes, sir...uh, Nick, that's what she said when I walked in, the first thing. But, then, after that, all she could say was how guilty she felt and how it was all her fault.
Bosch: Enough talking...and hold still, both of you!
Nick: She'll do both, Master Painter Bosch, in just a few moments. Now, Ilsa, whatever the source of the tears that soiled your lovely face...your tears, if you will allow me, will be dried up in an instant.
Ilsa: I don't need your help, kind Nicholas, there is only one remedy for my guilt. And yes, kind sir, it is within your power to remove it.
Arthur: And that's all she talked about until forensics arrived...her guilt. She even said she deserved to die.
Nick: Anyone talked to the neighbors?
Arthur: My partner is doing it right now.
Schanke: Well, well, well. If it isn't Artie the fascinating forensic.
Arthur: It's Arthur, Officer Shank.
Schanke: That's Detective Schanke, Arthur. Nice tie. (walks off)
Nick: Arthur, this cassette been dusted yet?
Arthur: Yeah, Nick, it has.
Nick: Okay, how about the slugs? Anyone find any?
Arthur: No, not yet, but when I do, you'll be the first to know.
Nick: Thanks, keep looking.
Nick: I know that smile.
Schanke: I dare say you do! It is the smile of a slam dunk victory, my friend. What did I say when I took a look at the perp's face? It looks familiar. Yes, those were my words exactly. And what did I find? Charlie-The-Mole-Gubbins. Wanted for everything from white slavery to making pornos to prostitution....
Nick: It's a good thing we didn't bet on it, huh?
Schanke: Let me hear those beautiful words, partner.
Nick: What happened to Mrs. Fiore?
Schanke: Let me hear the words first.
Nick: You were right.
Schanke: What else?
Nick: And I was wrong.
Schanke: What, I didn't hear you Nick?
Nick: And I was wrong.
Schanke: You were wrong. Yes! (Dances around...) He was wrong and...I was right.... Where you going? Don't you want to hear about...no, huh. Hey, when I outsmart him he goes to pieces.
Stonetree: Inspector Fiore caught up with us at the hospital. He just put his arms around Lynn and held her. He started to cry. I cried. You don't know them, so I'm sure this doesn't mean a lot to you, but uh....
Nick: Captain, I do respect how you feel and I know they've been friends of yours for a long time, but there are some things that don't fit.
Stonetree: The medic confirmed that she was nearly choked to death. The perp was a sleaze with enough probable deadly assaults on his record to choke a horse.
Nick: He died of two bullets in the heart, Captain. Can you conceive of a victim who has just been choked, firing off two shots at some guy as he comes after her, and hitting him twice in the heart? There aren't two guys in the precinct who can do that.
Stonetree: I've been with the Fiore's on the firing range at least ten times when Lynn has fired off twenty-thirty rounds. The Inspector always thought that she should know how to shoot. And Nick, I'm telling you she's one hell of a shot. Drop it!
Nick: Okay, but there are other things.
Stonetree: Drop it!
Nick: Fine, fine I'll just put it in my written report.
Stonetree: I'm telling you to drop it!
Schanke: Ah, Nick, you had this marked as evidence, so I thought we should check it out. Personally, I found the plumber's performance to be way over the top, the flashback sequence to be a tad uneven, and on the whole the story to be quite derivative. On the Schanke scale of one to ten, ten being the best, I'll give it a thirteen.
Nick: That's pretty high praise. Forensics found the bullets in Fiore's apartment yet?
Schanke: No. But we do have two new cases. Murder in the subway and intent to kill in an all night bowling alley.
Schanke: Nick, drop the Fiore case. It-it's suicidal, that's what it is.
Nick: Is that a fact?
Schanke: Oh, so you're looking up Fiore's address? That's suicidal, too.
Nick: This coming from you, a man who smokes and eats junk food? You're telling me I'm suicidal?
Schanke: Absolutely! If Stonetree finds out you're still investigating a shut case involving his best friend Inspector Fiore and the guy's wife, you're gonna find yourself working at the wrong end of a police pistol range.
Nick: You coming in or what?
Schanke: Let me put it to you another way, okay? You're on your own. I'm not here, I never was. I'm down at the morgue checking out the guy who was stabbed in the subway. Car keys, please. Pick you up in a half an hour.
Clerk: Mmm, very good, the quality of customers is improving tonight. What can I do for you, Sugar? (Nick flashes his badge) Oh. Mr. D...this one's for you.
Delinsky: What's the problem?
Nick: Detective Knight.
Delinsky: Delinsky. I own this dump.
Nick: Yeah, I want to know who rented this video.
Delinsky: That's confidential information.
Nick: Yeah, well, I can keep a confidence.
Delinsky: It'll take a warrant. I've been through this before.
Nick: *Why don't you take a closer look....*
Delinsky: Wait a minute. I can tell you this--some broad called here a couple of nights ago and said she found the cassette in the parking place underneath the building, so she'd bring it in today, but uh...
Nick: What was the lady's name?
Delinsky: I wrote this, but...Fair, Fair-femoral?
Nick: How about Fiore?
Delinsky: Could be, I didn't pay close attention.
Nick: Thanks.
Delinsky: Officer, that's my property, I'd appreciate your giving it back to me.
Nick: Yeah, sure--when we've done with it.
Officer: I told my partner, that's it. That's Nick's car.
Nick: What have you got, Obregower?
Officer: Uh, Mrs. Jonger, age 52, Caucasion, lives two doors down from the Fiore's apartment. Unfortunately, she wasn't there the night of the shooting.
Schanke: Nick, Nick, can we get on with life here?
Nick: That's it?
Officer: No, no, when shown a photo of the deceased, she recognized him.
Schanke: We don't want to hear this! We don't want to hear this!
Nick: When was the last time she saw Charlie Gubbins?
Officer: Uh, she saw him in the apartment hallway on two separate occasions, once waiting for the elevator.
Schanke: Okay, so Gubbins was casing out the joint or he had a friend there, what's the big deal?
Nick: I want that in writing on my desk in a half hour, okay, Obregower?
Officer: You got it.
Nick: Schank, will you get me the records for this video store with a warrant for the last six months? Huh, will you?
Schanke: Hey Nick, stay away from Fiore's!
Tony Fiore: Wouldn't life be beautiful if you really cared about me. If you just thought about me, before you indulged your abnormal contemptible appetites.
Lynn: Tony, you know it, I know it, I'm not worthy of you. Why don't you just divorce me?
Tony: I love you. No matter what you do, Lynn, I'll always love you.
Lynn: I don't want you to love me!
Ilsa: What favour would you ask of me in exchange for simply tightening your grip until... until I would be set free? Bosch: So, my Lord, are you enjoying your artistic experience?
Nick: What crime could you possibly have committed that torments you so, Ilsa?
Ilsa: I committed a women's crime. Seduction. I seduced a gentleman. A nobleman.
Nick: I have known seductresses. And despite your willingness to expose your naked body to pose here for an artist I do not see in you, I do not get from you the messages or signals that the seductress sends out with every movement of her mouth, her face, her body.
Ilsa: You're not a women, you don't understand. Even when I don't wish to, even when I'm unaware of what I am doing, my evil, a women's evil is at work.
Nick: Yes, I know that is the popular belief.
Ilsa: Belief? Fact, proven, taught, preached, daily...nightly. Where are you from? Where've you been?
Nick: Yes, Master Painter.
Bosch: Yes, art has its rewards. Yes, yes, you could reap a reward this very night, hmm? She puts up strenuous resistance though, I'll tell you that, the little vixen. Oh, but its worth the effort, I warrant!
Officer: Which is Nick's desk?
Schanke: I'll take it.
Officer: He said on his desk.
Natalie: It's that one there.
Officer: What am I going to say to the Captain when he asks me about the subway murder...nothing.
Nick: What are you doing here?
Natalie: Uh, I hope you don't mind. Schanke just let me know that he was a little worried that you were jeopardizing your entire career-
Nick: Is the Captain in?
Schanke: He sure is.
Natalie: Nick. Nick!
Schanke: See what I mean?
Nick: Here.
Stonetree: What's this? I thought I told you to drop it!
Nick: Captain, he didn't have any friends in the building and he did not force his way into her apartment. She lied, and if she lied about one thing....
Stonetree: I'm running out of patience with you!
Nick: Well then, you're gonna love this. Forensics didn't find the bullets because they were looking in the wall. I found them in a place that contradicts her story, how about that?
Stonetree: You've been neglecting your other duties. That's gonna stop right now!
Schanke: Well, well, well, I'd better start looking for a new partner.
Nick: Where's that warrant for the video shop?
Schanke: Listen, I warned you about this.
Nick: So you didn't get it.
Schanke: As soon as the judge found out it was for the Fiore case he refused. He said it was a dead issue. You could learn something from that, partner!
Natalie: As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, after Schanke told me that you were....
Schanke: ....putting your whole career at risk! Those were my exact words, and guess what, I was right. Again.
Natalie: Thank you. I thought to myself, well maybe Nick's onto something here, so I checked with a guy, who checked with a guy, who owns a pistol range and guess what? Turns out that Mrs. Fiore is a crack shot.
Stonetree: I don't want you two to go anywhere til I get back. Understand?
Schanke: Yes, sir. (Schanke mimes directing traffic...) You'd better take copious notes partner, because when the Captain comes back, he's gonna have a uniform waiting for you.
Nick: Oh, that's right. That's where you started isn't it, Schank? In traffic?
Schanke: And proud of it! That's where most of Toronto's finest started. You could stand to learn something from that.
Schanke: Where are you off to, Presivich?
Officer Presivich: Uh, Captain said there's gonna be a statement taken.
Schanke: From who?
Presivich: From Mrs. Fiore.
Lynn: He started to choke me because he said that it would enhance my sexual pleasure, and it was hurting me so I asked for him to stop. And he didn't. I was having a hard time breathing. Finally, I hit him in the stomach and I got away, and I told him to stay away. But he didn't, he kept coming after me and I- He was angry, he said he was determined to choke me until I almost died, he said. I told him to stay away. I threw things at him. And uh, when he came at me again, I shot him. Twice.
Nick: Did you not put up a fight? Did you not resist strenuously, dear Ilsa?
Ilsa: Oh, yes, I did with all my might!
Nick: My dear lady, that is not the behavior of a seductress. You did not seduce him. Oh no, you were raped by him, is not that true?
Nick: Was he facing you when you shot him?
Lynn: I don't know. I...it was dark. I'm not sure.
Natalie: So, what happens now?
Schanke: We get her statement typed up. She signs it and we all go home. Oh, coffee, coffee, coffee, the kid needs coffee. (leaves...)
Natalie: I just don't see the point in getting a second statement.
Nick: Because, she lied the first time.
Natalie: Okay, but the result is the same, isn't it? I mean, before all this, she confessed that she killed the man in self defense. So, now other than the fact that she admitted that she knew him, she's again stated that she shot him in self defense. So what's changed?
Nick: What's changed is that now I know for sure that she didn't pull the trigger.
Nick: She didn't do it. Where I found the slugs proves that the shots had to be fired by a taller person, someone who was standing off to the side, not in front of Gubbins.
Natalie: Well, I think he had it coming.
Nick: Yeah, well, that's not the issue. She knew the guy was a sleaze. She found that attractive. The things he did to her weren't frightening or shocking. She enjoyed them.
Natalie: Until he came up with the choking bit.
Nick: Yeah, right. There's another thing.... I went to their house and overhead a conversation. She heaps all the blame and guilt on herself.
Natalie: Yeah, well, there are plenty of us that have that problem. You know what? I almost forgot your veggie drink.
Ilsa: We didn't speak, but I must have been doing something. I must have caused it, for I could see it in his eyes. I seduced him to rape me. Even when I am trying not to be provocative, my evil comes out. My hair flutters in the breeze, my bare feet and ankles are often visible. The buckle of my gown sparkles in the sun. I beseech you, kind sir, release me from my hell, or I will take my own life!
Natalie: Nick?
Nick: What? (Sees the glass) Oh, no.... (Takes a sip...)
Natalie: Bravo!
Nick: It's like poison. One must take just a tiny drop at first if one is ever to be immune to it.
Natalie: Poison.
Nick: Don't mind me, Nat, my mind just wondered.
Natalie: How far? How long ago?
Janette: Nicky, you're just in time, you can help me choose a winner.
Nick: I'm here on business.
Janette: Oh, how boring for you.
Nick: Charlie Gubbins.
Janette: And dangerous. At least he was until he collided with his girlfriend's pistol, huh?
Nick: Any idea who he hangs out with?
Janette: Gubbins? He's right down there with most of the low lifes in town. In fact, guess what? One of them slithered in here tonight.
Nick: Oh yeah? Who?
Janette: What would you do without me?
Nick: Oh, I don't to ever have to face that. (They kiss...)
Janette: That was the correct answer. Morgan Delinsky is right over there.
Nick: Hey, Morgan, what's shaking huh? It's too bad that your friend Gubbins got whacked.
Delinsky: It wouldn't have happened if Charlie had known that that bimbo belonged to a cop!
Nick: Oh yeah, yeah that's too bad. Well c'mon, c'mon, let's go. Let's go. Love is sweet. Come on!
Nick: Now, last night some guy came into your video shop and either offered you a wad of cash or threatened you. So you lied about that video that was found at the scene of the crime. That video, like many others, was rented by Mrs. fiore. Am I right?
Delinsky: What took you so long? (As his lawyer enters)
Schanke: You got me into this mess, and now you're leaving?
Nick: Hang tough, he'll sign the statement or well bust him.
Schanke: You're not talking sense, partner.
Nick: Look, Mrs. Fiore did not pull the trigger.
Schanke: We're going to be shovelling you know what in the police stables.
Nick: Yeah, go into Stonetree's office, get the photo with him and Fiore. Show it to our sex video merchant. Fifty to one his face falls into his socks.
Schanke: Don't do this to me, Nick!
Nick: It's a piece of cake, partner, trust me.
Schanke: Piece of cake....
Stonetree: What are you doing with that?
Schanke: Uh, captain, I can explain....
Nick: Ilsa...Ilsa...Ilsa.... I found a...of course. Why would you trust me? I'm a man.
Bosch: They call it lady killer. It's the most popular with the ladies because its the cheapest. I suppose now I'll have to pay to get her buried.
Delinsky: And he said if I want to stay in business, I'd tell anybody who asked that Mrs. Fiore had found the tape in the underground apartment parking area. And that she had called me a few days before to say she would return it, but she that wasn't the person who rented it.
Schanke: Describe the man physically.
Delinsky: A guy in his fifties, tall, and he was balding, but he had, like, gray hair around the fringe. He looked like he was built.
Schanke: For the record I'm showing Mr. Delinsky a photograph of two men. Is the man you just described in this photograph?
Delinsky: Yeah, its the guy on the left, with the coat and the hat in his hand.
Schanke: For the record, the witness has identified Inspector Anthony Fiore.
Lynn: Why don't you tell me why you're here. Tony and I, we don't have any secrets, and I just want this to be finished.
Stonetree: Okay. We know you didn't kill Charles Gubbins.
Lynn: I killed him...the first time I ever laid eyes on him, the first time I saw him and I decided I had to have him, the first time I took him to our apartment so we could make love.
Stonetree: Then you're guilty of adultery, not murder. You hear me, Lynn? That's grounds for divorce, okay? But you didn't pull the trigger. I know you're feeling responsible about Gubbins death, but you're not the executioner. You'll feel guilty about it for the rest of your life, I know that, but you did not commit murder.
Lynn: I just have to go get dressed.
Natalie: You're making me nervous.
Nick: Well, she's desperate Nat, I'm afraid of what she might do.
Natalie: Do? Do like what?
Nick: Like kill her husband and maybe herself.
Natalie: (Phone rings) Hello? It's for you.
Nick: Oh, thanks.
Schanke: Nick you'd better get over here fast.
Nick: Why? What's happened?
Schanke: Captain took off after the sex video guy ID'd Inspector Fiore as the man who told them to lie about the video cassette.
Nick: Stonetree's gone to confront Fiore?
Schanke: What else? You should have seen the look in his eyes when he left.
Nick: Okay, get some uniforms and meet me there.
Schanke: Nick, I don't want to be banging on doors at Fiore's house, especially if they're sitting there talking there peacefully. I mean, I'd look a little bit like a fool?
Nick: Okay, call him first, I'm on my way.
Natalie: So what happened? (Nat turns to face thin air)
Lynn: My God....
Tony: Drive his car to the beach and take a taxi home. Do it!
Schanke: What's up?
Officer: Nobody's here and there's no sign of the Captain's car.
Schanke: Okay, Great. Thanks. I checked and Stonetree's not at the precinct.
Nick: We'd better put out an APB on Fiore's car and the Captain's.
Schanke: Why?
Nick: Fresh blood on the plant....
Schanke: Would he take the Captain to your country cottage?
Lynn: I don't know. I don't think so.
Nick: I'd like to say take your time, I'd like to tell you we can talk about it in the morning, but I can't, Mrs. Fiore. We've got to know right now.
Schanke: We've got to save his life!
Lynn: I'm trying to think.
Nick: You felt inferior, corrupt. You seduced Gubbins and you've done whatever's necessary to protect your husband. But tonight something changed. While you were driving the Captain's car something changed. That's why you're here! Tell us right now, Mrs. Fiore, or you'll be responsible for the Captain's death.
(She writes the place down)
Nick: Thank you.
Stonetree: Killing someone and letting your wife take the rap...fifteen years ago, ten years ago, you'd never would have laid down in the gutter for that!
Tony: I couldn't lose her, how would that have made me look! Gubbins was scum, but he was no real threat to our marriage. I figured if she wanted a little something on the side, at least I could control that!
Stonetree: You knew?
Tony: I could have put that weasel away any time. He took the games too far. He was going to hurt her--my wife! Til death do us part, Joe. Lynn and me, we stick together.
Stonetree: Cuz if she doesn't, you'll kill her, too.
Tony: Right. She's no good without me. I'm sorry it's you caught in the middle of this, Joe.
Stonetree: But it is.
Nick: Captain, are you all right?
Stonetree: Yeah, I'm all right.
Nick: Don't worry, I'll get him.
Stonetree: No! this is my fight.
Nick: C'mon, Captain!
Stonetree: I'll go around the front, you take the back.
Nick: All right.
Stonetree: Give it up, Tony. You've got nowhere to go.
Tony: I'm not coming out until this gun's empty, you know that, Joe.
Stonetree: Anthony Fiore, you're under arrest for the murder of Charles Gubbins. Anything you say may be used against you-
Tone: Get away from me!
Stonetree: This is your last chance, Tony. Give me the gun.
Nick: Captain, no!
Schanke: I think it took a lot of guts to face him down, Captain.
Stonetree: No, you don't understand. He was my friend, he taught me a lot. He helped me get promoted to Captain. I would have died for him.
Schanke: You almost did, sir.
Nick: You know something, Captain? I'm glad you didn't.
Schanke: Likewise.
Nick: Hello.
Schanke: You're awake, finally.
Nick: Just barely. How's the picnic?
Schanke: Great. There's only one thing missing though...you.
Nick: Well, I think it would spoil the fun if I started to smolder between the hot dog and the ice cream courses.
Natalie: Oh hey, its almost sunset, you could come on over now.
Nick: I don't think so, Nat.
Natalie: Oh, come on, everybody's asking about you.
Schanke: Gee, I wonder where Nick is?
Natalie: See?
Nick: Oh, I don't know... Oh, all right. I'll be there shortly.
Schanke: Hey, about time, you missed the whole game!
Nick: Nick: Who won?
Schanke: Schanke's Scorchers, of course....
Nick: All right!
Schanke: Eleven to zip. Captain pitched a no hitter.
Nick: His leg okay?
Schanke: Oh, we should be so strong. Want some?
Nick: Oh, not for me thanks.
Nick: Congratulations, Captain, I'm sorry I missed it.
Stonetree: Missed what? Oh, it was a good game, but that new ump was one tough cookie. Fiore was always a lot more...lenient.
Natalie: You'll miss him won't you? When's the trial?
Stonetree: Two weeks, but its not him I'm worried about. This whole thing has really taken its toll on Lynn.
Nick: How's she doing?
Stonetree: She's mess. She's trying to work it out with a therapist. I don't know how Tony could make her live like that.
Natalie: Well, with any luck she'll divorce him and start her own life.
Bosch: They call it lady killer. It's the most popular with the ladies, because its the cheapest.
Nick: Not luck, Nat. Courage.
Nick: You know, Nat, with all the changes over the years I've seen for women, for some it seems nothing's changed.
Natalie: For some of us it has, for millions of us.
Nick: And I have the pleasure and pain of knowing one of you.
Natalie: Lucky you!