SPIN DOCTOR

*****

Schanke: His name was Gilbert Reeves. An undistinguished member of the fourth estate.
Nick: So we're dealing with a journalist.
Schanke: Freelance, yeah. He had a press pass, but no professional affiliation. At least he died clean.

Nick: He must have been here to cover the election.
Schanke: Well, who isn't? Except for us, this place is a veritable press gallery.

Nick: Schank, what do you make of this?
Schanke: Make Luck? What is that, Confucius? Steer Faith. Sounds like new-age self help advice.

Schanke: A contact book...hundreds of numbers in here. It'll take a month to run them all down.
Schanke: Well, you better get started first thing in the morning, huh?
Schanke: Who, me?
Natalie: All right, I'm calling it. Our guy died of electrocution. Meaning he did not die before the TV hit the water.
Schanke: You know what they say, the bathroom is the most dangerous room in the house.
Natalie: Sherlock Holmes.
Schanke: Right.
Natalie: This was definitely not an accident.
Schanke: Unless the TV spontaneously levitated into the tub....

Schanke: It didn't take long for word to get out on this one.

Clifford Hiatt: This is what I've been talking about all along. Frankly, I am sick of crime and I know I'm not alone.

Woman: (at Nick) Dirty Communist! Lousy Red!

Hiatt: We're out to take back our streets and we simply won't tolerate it. As a family man, I'm very concerned about the future of my children.
Reporter: Where do you stand on the homeless issue?
Hiatt: My answer is a question: Are these people homeless by choice? These sensitive issues are better discussed in a more appropriate venue.

Nick: He dodged that one well.
Natalie: He's a master at it. Have you noticed how his head looks a lot bigger in person?
Schanke: He's got my vote. We need somebody tough in office.
Natalie: Oh come on...he's as phony as his hair weave, Schank!
Schanke: That's a weave?

Barbara Norton: My heart goes out to those members of the Community who live with this kind of mayhem every day of their lives. Decent people in crime ridden neighborhoods are impacted by this sort of thing constantly.

Natalie: Barbara Norton is the best thing that could ever happen to this city.
Nick: And better looking too.
Schanke: A broad for Mayor...yeah, right!
Natalie: Excuse me, a woman for Mayor, thank you! And what is wrong with that?!
Schanke: Oh, who am I? What do I know? I only pay taxes in this town.
Natalie: And I don't pay ta-
Nick: Look, would you two please chill out, okay?! We're on duty here, we've got police work to do.

Mona Wayne: Am I in trouble or something?
Nick: It's about Gilbert Reeves.
Mona: Yes.
Nick: Uh, Miss Wayne, there's a problem. Gilbert was taking a bath.
Mona: Yes?
Nick: While he was watching television.
Schanke: Somehow the television wound up in the tub.
Mona: Is he all right?

Nick: I'll have hotel security look in on her...track her movements.
Schanke: She's a suspect?
Stonetree: Well, she should be. She had access to the room.

Stonetree: None of this has anything to do with the campaign.
Nick: Oh, come on, Captain. I mean, Reeves was covering the election. It's going to be tough to keep a lid on it.
Stonetree: It's called spin control, Detective. Somebody pokes a microphone in your face and they will, you offer no comment.
Schanke: Well, according to the hotel phone logs, he'd already been talking to the press.
Stonetree: What press?
Nick: Frank Titus...publisher of the National Intruder.
Stonetree: National Intruder. No comment.

Natalie: Rats, I can't get it. Here, Schank, you try.
Schanke: Why is everyone down on Hiatt? He seems like an alright guy.
Natalie: You're just saying that because he shook your hand. Don't forget, he was involved in that big Rothweiler probe.
Schanke: They never proved that.
Natalie: Nothing sticks to that man. Hey Nick, it's too bad you don't work the day shift. You could get in there and find something on him.
Nick: I'll leave the character assassination to the press and concentrate on detective work.
Natalie: Come on, Nick. Everybody knows that Hiatt is just a notorious tool of special interests.
Schanke: He's a politician, not an alter boy.
Natalie: Oh yeah? Yeah, when did you start to give two hoots about politics anyway?
Schanke: Well, since I found a candidate I can put my trust in. Besides, that's really his hair.
Natalie: Sure, that makes since. If you don't care about your government's hair, your government doesn't care about you.

Woman at Hiatt's campaign HQ: We can always use more volunteers.
Schanke: Well, like I always say, if you don't care for your government, you government doesn't care about you.

Schanke: Just one question.... Those doughnuts over there, are they for us?

Schanke: Myra, listen, it's me. I can't remember. Am I registered to vote?

Frank Titus: You said Reeves...is that right?
Nick: That's right.
Frank: What'd he do?
Nick: He died.
Frank: Geez, that's too bad. Headline on the wall:
Deceased Rock Star Alive.
He is a 400 Yr. Old Vampire

Frank: Don't deal with specifics.
Nick: No, only rumors.
Frank: Look, I don't substantiate 'em. I just spread 'em around.

Frank: Don't worry, the truth will out. That's our motto. The truth will out.

McCarthy Hearing leader: This Subcommittee meeting is now in session. We are here tonight to get at the truth, and be assured, the truth will out.

Frank: Target the source. The key to our business...target the source.

Nick: I guess it's not the first time someone's died in my arms.
Natalie: You did all you could. Once cyanide started to take effect there's not much anyone could do.

Nick: What were you doing down at the Hiatt campaign headquarters?
Schanke: Well, same thing Nat does at Norton's campaign headquarters. Supporting my candidate of choice.
Nick: And you think you can do that without biasing the investigation?
Natalie: Oh, fat chance-
Nick: No, this goes for you too.
Natalie: Me?!
Nick: Yeah, both of you! Hey, we've got some sensitive digging to do here. Unfortunately it comes down to a decision. Because you can't have it both ways.

Nick: This is a witch hunt, sir, and I don't understand why you won't listen to the truth when you say that's what you want.
Committee leader: Mr. Girard, we are here to cleanse America of the destructive influence of communism, and we will not rest until we have reached our objective.

Nick: You have to decide whether you want to be zealous or thorough.

Schanke: Elections can't be won in bed.
Woman at Hiatt's HQ: No, but they can be lost in bed.

Committee leader: Mr. Girard, are you now, or have you ever been a member of the communist party?
Nick: I'm the night curator and the associate professor of the archeological museum at the University of Chicago.
Committee leader: Bearing in mind you are under oath, answer the question as put.
Nick: I was merely explaining....
Committee leader: We're not here for explanations, Mr. Girard. We're here for answers!

Schanke: Hey, come on, Nick. It's just me, Don Schanke, right? Don 'Open-Minded' Schanke. Look up unbiased in the dictionary and you'll find a picture of me next to it.

Schanke: In a matter of fact, I think I might have found proof that Hiatt was innocent of the whole Rothweiler thing to begin with.
Nick: What kind of proof?
Schanke: Well, isn't the allegation that Hiatt had tried to change the zonings so that Rothweiler could develop protective land in exchange for special consideration?
Nick: Yeah.
Schanke: So, guess who's name is nowhere to be found on a list of Hiatt's political contributors?
Nick: Besides Dr. Natalie Lambert?
Schanke: Yes.
Nick: Rothweiler.
Schanke: Exactly. So where's the special consideration? Doesn't that seem odd to you? I mean, if Rothweiler's hanging in the hammock with Hiatt, don't you think he'd at least get him for some bumper stickers?

Nick: Accusations, totally without merit.
Committee Leader: Are you implying that the other members of the faculty were lying, Mr. Girard? Perhaps the Committee should have their names.
Nick: No, I never said anything about lying. All I'm saying is that there has clearly been a misinterpretation of the facts.
Committee leader: Then, Mr. Girard, just answer the question.

Natalie: What the hell is this? Some sort of TV charisma lie-detector test? Hiatt is just a better liar, that's all.

Grace: Don't pay any attention to me. I'm politically ignorant.

Reporter: You're Natalie Lambert, county coroner. What can you tell us about the on-going investigation?
Natalie: Uh, I'm not at liberty to discuss any of this right now.
Reporter: Detective, are you here to investigate the Norton campaign.
Nick: No.
Reporter: Then Hiatt is the focus of your investigation.
Nick: I didn't say that.
Reporter: Dr. Lambert, are you a Barbara Norton supporter.
Natalie: Yes, I am. ...but that shouldn't be taken as an official endorsement.
Reporter: Is it true that the focus of the current investigation is on Hiatt?
Natalie: No comment.

Nick: Oh no, you don't get off that easy.
Natalie: So am I supposed to drive you to your car or what?
Nick: Drive. Just drive.

Natalie: I'm sorry, okay. I'm really sorry.
Nick: What were you thinking, Natalie?
Natalie: I didn't think. But all I said was no comment.
Nick: No, it's the way that you said it.
Natalie: Well I didn't mean to imply that....
Nick: You shouldn't have said anything. You shouldn't have even been there.
Natalie: I had a commitment. I couldn't just stand by while they tried to run her into the ground with empty accusations.
Nick: Do you know that these accusations were empty, or do you just like to think they were? You didn't do a DNA on the fingernail.
Natalie: I was gonna do it in the morning. I'm sorry. I screwed up.

Natalie: What's that idiot behind us doing?

Natalie: It's Hiatt. Now, I know it's Hiatt! And you know what else? I should talk to the press.
Stonetree: I think you've done enough talking to the press.

Stonetree: Nothin's obvious about this investigation or there wouldn't be an investigation.

Stonetree: This whole thing's gone from bad to worse. I mean, let's try and make some headway on this case without anyone else getting hurt. And let's try to do it quietly.

Norton: Whatever it is, it'll wait until morning.
Laura Neil: Well, morning's got its own list, I'm afraid. Listen, why don't you go upstairs and get some rest? I'll be able to rest when my job is done, and you're in City Hall.
Norton: Cross our fingers.
Laura Neil: Well, that won't be necessary. We're going to get there anyway. When I say I'm going to do something, I do it.

Committee leader: Mr. Girard, will you kindly explain to this committee, why you keep in your refrigerator, bottles full of animal blood?
Nick: I choose not to answer that question, under the protection of the fifth amendment of the constitution.
Woman: Commie monster!

Reporter: Dr. Girard, the Dean of Archeology has been quoted as saying he'll review your tenure.
Nick: Well, I've been tried and convicted and the hearing's barely begun. It's hardly a surprise that I've been sentenced as well.
Reporter: Does this mean you'll resign your position as associate professor of archeology?
Nick: Do I have a choice?

Schanke: Oh baby, this is getting better by the minute.
Nick: Better?
Schanke: I mean better for us, the case. Honest!

Nick: The Rothweiler article is dummied up.
Schanke: And planted by our killer.
Nick: Someone who wants us to believe that either Hiatt or someone working for him snuffed Reeves to shut him up.
Schanke: Somebody who at the considerable risk of sounding partisan maybe had a prior role in the hot satin sheets with Gilbert the joy-boy Alderman.
Nick: Or someone who has an even bigger stake in all this.
Schanke: Where're you going?
Nick: To dig a little deeper.

Nick: Schanke, it's time to switch sides.

Norton: Do not let gossip-mongering influence your decisions on election day.

Natalie: What are you doing here?
Schanke: Maybe trying to save your favorite candidate's life.

Schanke: Police! Hold it right there. Oh. Sure hope she doesn't know how to use that thing. (She fires) She knows...she knows.

Schanke: Police business. I need your car!

Norton: Where are we going?
Laura: I told you I'd get you to City Hall.

Laura: Here we are. We made it, just like I promised you.
Norton: You killed Gilbert, didn't you?
Laura: He was going to blackmail you. He was going to do it the week of the election. I wouldn't have had time to fix it so close to the election.
Norton: And the girl?
Laura: She might have been in on it. I couldn't take that chance. I had to..I had to insulate you. That's my job, isn't it? Spin control?

Laura: You don't get it, do you? Don't you understand? Every single thing you represent really means something to me.
Norton: What do you want from me?
Laura: You don't understand, do you?
Nick: Drop the gun and back away, Laura.
Laura: I believed in you. I did this for the greater good.
Nick: Two people died for what you believed in.

Nick: That's a unique figurine. It's from the Upper Paleolithic period. You know, that little piece of clay is from a dig that single-handedly changed modern archeology's mind about when the Upper Paleolithic period started. It's a very very important piece.
Natalie: It's fascinating. Is that one too?
Nick: What?
Natalie: A very very important piece?
Nick: Indeed. You are looking at a desk name plate taken from the Chicago area, circa 1954. It represents the end of a significant period in the on-going transient life of a certain indigenous vampire.
Natalie: You hated leaving that one behind, didn't you? I know how you feel about archeology.
Nick: I had some remarkable students, and I think I was actually making a difference.
Natalie: I don't doubt it for a moment.
Nick: You know, it's never pleasant moving on, particularly when you have no choice.

Natalie: Boy, she really got creamed, didn't she?
Nick: Tried and convicted by the press. That's a trial you can never hope to win.

Nick: What's he think he's doing? (seeing Schanke on TV)
Natalie: Being a terrible winner.