FEEDING THE BEAST

*****

Note - *Name:* indicates parts from Nick's dreams/hallucinations, or whatever they are...

Schanke: Did he have any ah...friends, enemies, any relationships?
Monica: Probably all three.

Schanke: Hey Nick, got any bad habits?

Stonetree: Got any bad habits? Maybe it'd do you some good.

Nick: Nat, what do you think of twelve step programs?
Natalie: I think they can be very helpful for some mortal addictions.
Nick: How about the more exotic ones?
Natalie: You know my theory about that, it's the blood that keeps you from coming over.
Nick: I try Nat, I really do, I really try. Do you think a twelve step can make me give it up?
Natalie: No one can answer that for you, Nick. But it wouldn't hurt to give it a shot.

Monica:I couldn't see any way out of my addiction. Essentially it's like feeding the beast. This big, ugly, greedy, beast that demands to be fed over and over and over again.

Nick: Where do I start?
Monica: First step is admitting to someone you love that you are powerless before your addiction.
Nick: That's not going to be easy.
Monica: No. It's going to hurt like hell.

Nick: Schanke...um...what would you say if...what would you say if I told you I was an addict?
Schanke: Laughes. ....Yeah, right...and I'm the maharajah!
Nick: Hey, wait, wait, wait. I'm serious. I'm talking to you here, seriously.
Schanke: An addict? Wait. Wait, we're not talking about the red wine in the refrigerator are we? Cuz...no. Absolutely not! You are perfectly all right, Nick. You're perfectly fine. Absolutely not! Trust me!
Schanke walks off, and Natalie joins Nick
Nick: So much for step number 1.
Natalie: Yeah? What's step number 2?

*Nick:* Hi, my name's Nick and I'm an addict. It's the hunger that drives me and it's not for booze, or crack, or junk. It's for um.... I drink blood so that I can live forever.
*LaCroix:* What's so terrible about that?
*Monica:* You have to fight it Nick. You don't have to listen to him.
*LaCroix:* She's right, Nicholas. Don't listen to me. Listen to your hunger. Listen to the beast in your veins calling to you....
*Monica:* I can help you Nick. I'm here for you....
*LaCroix:* Who can help your hunger? Who can help your craving for the warm, sweet, taste of blood?
*Monica:* You can beat it Nick.
*LaCroix:* Surrender.... Yield to your thirst.

Monica: Our worst victims are ourselves, you know.
Nick: Not with me.

Natalie: Hey, hey! Wait a minute. You look great! Your cheeks, they actually look rosy!
Nick: It must be the French fries.
Natalie: You ate French fries?
Nick: With lots of ketchup.
Natalie: That's incredible!
Schanke: Wait a minute! Am I missing something here? I had three falafels for lunch yesterday. Did I get this kind of reception?

Nick: I guess I'm in recovery.
Natalie: It certainly seems to agree with you.
Nick: Oh, Monica's been a great help. I don't know, but I think this is it, Nat. I'm not sure, I just uh....
Natalie: Just do me a favour, okay? Don't get your hopes up too high.
Nick: A little jealousy, perhaps?
Natalie: No. No, just a little realism.

Hillary: Is there anyone here who has anything they'd like to share with us?
Nick: Hi, my name's Nick, and I'm an addict.
Audience: Hi Nick.
Nick: Well, uh, it's been three days since I stopped abusing. I'm still alive.

Monica: I have this sense about you...that you're on the edge. A very sharp edge, like me. I guess it makes me feel really close to you.
Nick: That's why we have to fight so hard.

Monica: Ah, the beast within. It's a good description for it, isn't it? The way it gnaws at you. The way it chews your insides.

Monica: It never goes away, Nick! Our beasts are on our backs forever. There's no magic bullet. There's no cure and you better learn how to carry your beast on your back.

*LaCroix:* This is the humanity you speak of, this is your mortal strength. I've told you, Nicholas, you're wasting your time. Come on, Nicholas, where is it? The last bottle. Think. Where did you hide it? Think....

Schanke (on answering machine): And by the way, what I said earlier about the addiction stuff...stricken from the record, pal. I apologize. You're my partner and I'll take you any way I can get you, bye.
Nick: Good!

Nick: There's no way out, is there? No answers. No great shining light around the corner. Might as well embrace it, sit back, and enjoy the ride. I'm revamping myself, Janette. From now on, I say I'm a vampire and I'm proud of it. To hell with the mortal world.
Janette: And what brought about this sudden change of heart?
Nick: Their weakness. Their false hopes. Their lies.
Janette: Their humanity?
Nick: What strength is there in mortality? None. What advantage? The ability to die. Well, sign me up for that straight away. Oh yeah, I'll be first in line.
Janette: Maybe...you've had enough.
Nick: I'm hungry, I feed.
Janette: Your eyes.... I can't have a scene, Nicolas. Dance.... Work it off a little.
Nick: Yes.

Woman: What is this place?
Nick: It's a private club for VIP's and denizens of the night. I think you belong.
Woman: I'm not sure.
Nick: Maybe it's just your makeup.
Woman: How does it make me look?
Nick: Like Death.
Woman: Is that sexy?
Nick: Oh, it's more than that.
Woman: It is to me.
Nick: Death?
Woman: Sexy?
Nick: Oh, yes.
Woman: It's incredibly sexy to me.
Nick: Then maybe you should die a little....
Janette: Nicolas!!

Janette: He needs to be alone. Both of you go, please. Look, he's dangerous! He's had too much to drink.
Natalie: No. I'm going in there.
Janette: It's your neck....

Schanke: What the hell is going on with Nick?

Nick: Come to ogle the beast?
Natalie: I came to help.
Nick: You all come to help, don't you?
Natalie: Take my hand.
Nick: Back off, Nat!
Natalie: What happened tonight?
Nick: I was riding on this wagon and someone pushed me off....
Natalie: Monica.
Nick: Aren't you the one who said, be realistic, Nick? Well, I've just had a fair dose of reality, a good, hard look at the mortal soul. What secrets are you hiding, Natalie? What kind of betrayal?
Natalie: Come on, Nick....
Nick: Are you writing some sort of medical paper on me, Nat? Or maybe you're just seeking some dark sexual thrill? What is it Natalie?
Natalie: All right, that is enough!
Nick: Because there is no hope is there? No cure. From Monica, from you.... It's all a bluff.
Natalie: Or what? Did somebody tell you there's an easy cure, Nick? 'Cause they were lying. You have to find the answer within yourself, and just because Monica failed you, doesn't give you an excuse to stop....
Nick: She betrayed my trust! My hope!

Nick: She's a killer like myself. An unredeemable, uncontrollable beast. Now that's the way it is. That, is my reality.

Nick: This is perfect, Nat. This makes perfect sense, Nat. Monica says that recovery is just the space between fixes. He vamps out> I think I'll show her what backsliding really is....

Schanke: Hey, will you two let me in on what's going on here, and how the hell did you get here from the Raven so fast without a car?
Nick: Schanke, um, I truly apologize for my behavior tonight and any pain I might have caused you.
Schanke: You're not going to give me an answer, are you?

Hillary: You can not take advantage. It's a rule. They deserved to die. You can't take advantage of someone who's addicted!

Schanke: Oh, you think I know nothing about art?
Nick: No, it's just that you have a velvet painting of Elvis in your locker.
Schanke: Very funny!