PARTNERS OF THE MONTH

*****

Victoria Levy: Damnit Jonathan, come on.

Victoria: Jonathan?
Jonathan Levy: Vic, I-I'm working. Just give me a few minutes more.
Victoria: A gave you a minute an hour ago. You could at least look.
Jonathan: (He turns) Very pretty. (Turns back to his computer)
Victoria: You're a jerk, Jonathan.
Jonathan: Vicky, I love you, just give me a few more minutes please.
Victoria: Would you want a few more minutes if she were standing here? (She leaves)
Jonathan: Vic.... (Turns and she's gone)

Schanke: The maid found him thirty seconds after she heard the shot, then the wife came in. 'My darling Victoria.' I guess that would be the blushing bride.
Nick: Suicide note?
Schanke: Yeah, computer generated--the personal touch. He didn't even sign it.
Nick: What are you suggesting?
Schanke: Well that Levy had a lot to live for and somebody had a lot to gain. I mean, look at this place.

Natalie: One shot, extremely close range.
Nick: Yeah. It's low velocity, low caliber, not a lot of fire-power.
Natalie: Might be why there's no exit wound.
Schanke: Correct me if I'm wrong Dr. Lambert, but doesn't a contact wound leave a starburst pattern?
Natalie: How very astute of you, Detective. Yes, in most suicides the muzzle of the gun is pressed against the skin, thereby creating a gunpowder starburst when fired.
Nick: Any idea who the gun belonged to?

Victoria: He gave it to me. I don't know...several years ago. Jonathan wanted me to learn how to protect myself.
Nick: And you usually keep it...?
Victoria: Here, at the bedside table. I probably haven't opened the drawer in a year.
Schanke: Is this your private suite?
Victoria: Excuse me?
Schanke: Well there's no sign of a man here. You...you weren't sleeping together?
Victoria: I'm sorry, what that has to do with this investigation.
Nick: Schank.
Schanke: I'm just trying to establish the nature of their relationship. It sounds like they weren't--
Victoria: I loved my husband very much. Jonathan worked twenty hour days. He didn't want to disturb me so we slept apart.
Nick: Where were you when you heard the shot?
Victoria: I was in bed asleep. I didn't really know what the sound was. Maybe a door slam? And then I heard Maria scream. I ran down the hall, and there he was...just.... I went over to him. He was.... There was so much blood. I picked up the gun, and I started...I started to scream. Scream his name. Over and over again I was screaming his name.

Schanke: This one's a short chapter. She did it.
Nick: Come on, she was tested. There was no powder residue on her hands.
Schanke: She wore gloves, she washed up. The maid said it was at least a couple of minutes before the misses came into the room.
Nick: What's really bothering you?
Schanke: Who said I'm bothered?
Nick: Well, I thought you could have been a little more tactful about their sleeping arrangements.
Schanke: Sex is the cornerstone of a sound marriage.
Nick: C'mon, just because they slept apart doesn't mean that....
Schanke: ....they weren't doing it? Oh, trust me Nick, the idea that married people make hot monkey love while sleeping in separate beds went out with Lucy and Ricky. It's impossible to generate any heat from the living room couch. (Yawn) Pretty damn difficult to get any sleep, too.

Schanke: There you have it, Jonathan Levy, deceased. Just about as thorough a report as I've ever seen. As a matter of fact, I think the two cops who wrote that up are definitely worthy of Partners of the Month. That's Knight and Schanke. S-c-h-a-n-k-e. The c is hard the h is silent.
Cohen: And you're not. Put a sock in it, Schanke. You didn't get the plaque this month. Get over it. What's your take on this?
Nick: I'm fine without the plaque.
Cohen: Jonathan Levy?
Nick: Well, it's too early to rule out murder.
Cohen: The suicide note.
Schanke: Form letter.
Nick: (?)
Cohen: Any suspects?
Schanke: The wife.
Nick: Nobody.(?)
Cohen: Okay, open it up, go for it. And gentlemen...stay in sink on this one.
Schanke: 'Stay in sink on this one...' Get off my desk.

Natalie: Feeling a little under appreciated, are we?
Schanke: Who's got a better record than us, anyway? Nobody. Roslyn and Franklin, oh yeah, they deserved it. Again. Those guys saw more wood on the job than most carpenters.
Nick: Schank, it's only a plaque on a wall.
Schanke: I've got a wall. I want a plaque. Okay? You should be behind me on this. A partner's of the month citation can be very valuable during promotion review. You got to get a handle on the big picture.
Natalie: Speaking of which.... Point of entry is consistent with suicide, but I can't confirm until I get inside his head. Also, I have to wait for forensics to say that they're his prints on the gun.
Schanke: Or hers.
Nick: Oh, she said she picked it up when she found him.
Schanke: Oh, nice story. Very entertaining. I give it three stars. What about the absence of a starburst pattern?
Natalie: He held it away form his head.
Nick: You're thinking suicide?
Natalie: All I'm saying is it's possible. You can't understand someone else's life unless you're living it. People have demons.
Schanke: People have enemies. People have spouses.
Nick: She said she tried to revive him.
Natalie: Fit's in with what I see here.
Schanke: Were we all at the same house tonight? Separate bedrooms because he works late? Give me a break. Their sex life had gone south, and you know why? He probably came home late after a hard night's work and oh she was just waiting to go off. Like he bought the wrong cream cheese, the regular, not the low fat. And she flips. It's not like he forgot. It's not like he didn't make the effort. It's just whatever he did wasn't good enough. Cream cheese, wrong. Oops. Bang. Dead. Whether you pull the trigger or they do, in this grand B-movie we call life, there's always a girl. Cherchez la femme.
Nick: Hey, Schank?
Schanke: Hey, you guys finish, all right? I've gonna find out about this guy's life before they throw dirt in his coffin.
Natalie: Ah, is he okay?
Nick: I don't know. Like you said, Nat. Do you really ever understand anybody else's life?
Natalie: He is your partner.

Nick flashback while driving:
Schanke: Whether you pull the trigger or they do, in this grand B-movie we call life, there's always a girl. Cherchez la femme.

Nick: What are you doing?
Janette: I had hoped to be gone by now. Did you really think that we could share all of eternity?
Nick: I thought we were building something.
Janette: We have been building, Nicolas. Longer than the Medici's. Ninety-seven years. It's longer than any mortal marriage.
Nick: You.... We are not mortals.
Janette: Does that not mean we cannot change, cannot grow, cannot want something different? Do not think that this is easy, Nicolas, or that I am without pain. But it is enough. It is time for me to go.

Nightcrawler: Does everyone you see, everything you taste, smell, remind you of her? I know what it is. You cannot accept what you must. That love is not eternal, it's not even long-lived. Let it die when it is exhausted. Don't try to resuscitate it. Let it go.
Caller: You're not helping me much, Nightcrawler.
Nightcrawler: In time, you'll see that I am. I'm cleansing your wound, waking you from a stupor. Because of your grief you cannot see that I'm an ally, but in my way, I love you all. And I want your love back....

Schanke: Hello, how nice to find you at home. I hope you love pizza, nature's perfect food. It is hell to find it at five in the morning, but I managed to find some for my partner. Oh, let's fire up the oven, because the cheese it is coagulating.
Nick: You could have called.
Schanke: Uh, great place. You've got so much room here, and a great fridge, so much room in here, too. Come on. Let's down a frosty(?). Let's party in this party crib. (Tosses Nick a can of beer) Let's get dazed and confused.
Nick: Schank, I don't what to be inhospitable, but, uh, why are you here?
Schanke: Well, you know, I thought we could shoot the breeze, talk about the case. Do guy stuff. Besides I want to celebrate with my partner, we're friends right?
Nick: What are we celebrating?
Schanke: Only the single most wonderful moment of my entire life.
Nick: What happened?
Schanke: I did it, I really did it. I pink-slipped the ball and chain. Life without a wife, is a life without strife.
Nick: Myra?
Schanke: Is history.

Schanke: Partners always come through in a pinch. I knew I didn't have to ask. Here are a couple of items rescued from the wrath of hurricane Myra. She was throwing things. Would you do me the honors, and ah, park my duck?
Nick: This isn't a joke is it?
Schanke: No. No no no no. The joke is I went this long being suffocated in the name of love. From now on I live by Schanke's new creed.
Nick: Which is?
Schanke: Life is a salad bar and most poor slobs only grab one helping. I am swinging single. The governor called, I got my reprieve. Unbelievable! They didn't put any garlic on the pizza. Unbelievable! You got some, right?
Nick: No, no I don't have any garlic, no.
Schanke: You bachelors, never any food. Hey, now I'm one, too.
Nick: This.... This doesn't make any sense. What happened?
Schanke: I came to my senses. Yeah. I don't understand her emotional needs. Is she kidding? After what I go through every night on the streets, she's lucky I don't come home shoot off the doorknob and burst in yelling, 'Freeze, drop the gun!'
Nick: Schank, every couple has their ups and downs. I'm sure if you took all this stuff away and went home right now, all would be well.
Schanke: You don't want me stay here, is that it?
Nick: It's not that.
Schanke: It's okay. Just because I don't have anywhere else to go, doesn't mean I have to stay here. I understand how it is.
Nick: Schank, it's not that. It's just that, well you know, this is one room and you are used to that big beautiful house that you and Myra have shared together all these years. Just call me an incurable romantic, but I'm sure if you went home right now and gave it another chance....
Schanke: It's over Nick. I wanted to come here and tell you first, because you're my best friend. You're my partner.
Nick: Schanke, look....
Schanke: No, hey, don't sweat it. I'll take a room at the Y. They're used to guys who sleep clutching a weapon.
Nick: Schank, Schank, Schank! Wait, wait, wait. You can stay as long as you like.
Schanke: You mean that? You are a pal, you are a buddy. We will talk, we will party, we will have some heart to hearts. We will party some more. And then we'll work, we'll party, and we'll eat some pizza! We'll cram this pace with stewardesses, or better still, meter maids. Hey Rita! Look at me, I'm giddy, feckless, and fancy free. I'm a bachelor my friend. A bachelor. Free at last. Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last.

Italy: Early 16th century (but before Leonardo da Vinci died in 1519)

Nick: Just what is freedom?
Janette: Only the essence of what we are. The ability to go anywhere and do anything.
Nick: To love anyone.
Janette: Within our limits, yes. Nicolas, we cannot define our lives by mortal mores. What we buy when we give up the daylight is a new set of rules.
Nick: Rules that ignore love.
Janette: Rules that broaden it. This does not mean that I don't love you, that our time together hasn't been wonderful.
Nick: Then why do you have to leave.
Janette: Because I am bored. Because I feel the need to move on. Because you probably feel it as well, but cannot admit it. Oh, mon cherie, maybe one day our eyes we'll meet, and we'll fall in love all over again, hmmm?
Nick: What makes you think I would take you back?
Janette: (She kisses him) That....

Schanke: (On phone) Hold on here, are you her mother or her attorney? Yeah, well you're not my idea of the perfect son-in-law either. (Hangs up) Women, women, women. Buenos noches compadre. Sleep okay? Come and get it. food shopping. What's wrong, you don't like your yolks broken? I myself like them loose and easy--kind of like my women. Actually, it's better that way, cuz you get all the cholesterol. Cream is on the table.
Nick: I'll take mine black.
Schanke: Great job, huh? I love to cook. Love it, love it, love it. You know, as a matter of fact, after work I'm going to whip up my manicotti with my creamy alfredo sauce.
Nick: It's okay, Schanke.
Schanke: And why don't you try the bacon, it's that free range stuff. They let the little piggies wander around on the farm and they get relaxed, happy and carefree and boom, the slaughter them-
Nick: Schanke!
Schanke: You get a better pork product that way-
Nick: Please!
Schanke: You're not going to eat are you?
Nick: No.
Schanke: You're not going to eat.
Nick: I'm not going to eat.
Schanke: No eat.
Nick: No eat.
Schanke: After everything I do. From the bottom of my heart. After everything I've done, you do not appreciate a thing that I do for you, do you? Here or at work. You know, between you and Myra, I feel very under-valued.
(The phone rings and they both go for it)
Nick: I've got it. Knight.
Natalie: Sorry if I woke you up, but Schanke's phone's been busy.
Nick: Yeah, he's been on the phone to Myra's mother.
Natalie: Is something wrong?
Nick: He left Myra.
Natalie: No.
Nick: Yeah, and moved into my place this morning.
Natalie: Get out of town!
Nick: I might just have to. He made me eggs and bacon for breakfast!
Natalie: Oh, come on! You're almost 800 years old. What's an egg?
Nick: Thank you. And you called because....
Natalie: Well, I managed to get in Levy's head this morning and I got a fix on the angle of entry.
Nick: And?
Natalie: The shot came from a fifty-five degree angle above his head, Nick. I have to say, it looks like murder.

Schanke: Who else could it be?
Nick: Business associate, a close friend?
Schanke: At that time of night in his den? She whacked him, and I'm going to tell you why. He was getting some on the side.
Nick: Ooh, that's a pretty big jump.
Schanke: C'mon, wake up and smell the corpses, my friend. Fifteen million plus in the kiddie? Tell me he wasn't beating honey's off with a stick. I'll tell you something else. Like your partner here, he realised the deep seeded need to assert his independence. And she couldn't handle it.
Nick: Maybe she was having the affair.
Schanke: Are you nuts? Myra wouldn't dare.
Nick: Myra?
Schanke: I didn't say Myra, I said Victoria. Now, whether she killed him to get rid of him or killed him for revenge, Victoria killed him. Here it is...snob hill.

Schanke: You coming in?
Nick: His lawyer's a guy named Jay Coulter. I'll stay out here and nose around for him.

Nick: Jay Coulter?
Jay (James by credits) Coulter: Yes.
Nick: Nick Knight, Metro Homicide.
Coulter: Homicide?
Nick: Could I have a word with you? Outside, please?
Coulter. Uh, yeah, sure. Excuse me.

Nick: Was he suicidal?
Coulter: I'd say no, but you never really know people, do you Detective? You only think you do.
Nick: Did he have any enemies?
Coulter: Jonathan? Well, let's just say he took no prisoners when it came to business. A lot of people resented him.
Nick: Well, we'll have to see the provisions of his estate.
Coulter: (Hands Nick his card) My office. I'll open the books.
Nick: Okay, just one more thing. Jonathan and his wife? Their marriage...was it falling apart? Was there another woman?
Coulter: That, Detective, is what we lawyers call a gross understatement.

Schanke: Uh, excuse me, ma'am. Nice service, huh? Detective Schanke, Metro Homicide.
Julia Winwood: And you want to question me here? They train you to be tasteless?
Schanke: No, that's genetic. They train me to be persistent. Now, it might help if I knew your name.
Julia: It might help what?
Schanke: We're investigating the possibility that Jonathan Levy's death wasn't a suicide. Miss?
Julia: Winwood. Julia Winwood.
Schanke: What relationship were you to the deceased?
Julia: Why don't you just pass out questionnaires. I'm a friend. Everybody here is a friend.
Schanke: Close friend?
Julia: Close enough.
Schanke: Did you work with him?
Julia: I'm...I was his personal assistant.
Schanke: In your opinion, was he suicidal?
Julia: He had troubles, like everyone. Things in his life he wasn't happy about.
Schanke: Like, maybe, his marriage?
Julia: I wouldn't know that, would I? Now if you don't mind, I'm leaving.
Schanke: Oh, by all means, Ms. Winwood.

Coulter: Her name is Julia Winwood. She was Jonathan's personal assistant.
Nick: Very personal if he had her written into his will. Did Victoria know?
Coulter: About Julia? I'm not sure. I don't think she knew Jonathan had written her into the estate.
Nick: Well, how much was he going to give her?
Coulter: In the present will, half of everything, the other half going to Victoria. Frankly, I advised them against it until after the divorce. Why give Victoria admission of adultery? And there was going to be enough trouble dividing the property.
Nick: There always is.

Nick: You had it painted for me.
Janette: Leonardo would want me to keep it.
Nick: The painting is mine. It was a gift.
Janette: To enjoy while we were together.
Nick: So, am I to take back everything I've given you?
Janette: It is not the same.
Nick: It is exactly the same. Just because it's your portrait doesn't make it any more significant to you. It is as much a part of my life as it is yours.
Janette: You are being very petty.
Nick: And you are tearing my life apart. Nessuno negoziare*, the painting is mine.
Janette: Very well. As a memento. When I see Leonardo I will commission another.

( * Italian, literally 'nobody to negotiate', ie, no negotiation)

Nick: Had he legally set the divorce in motion?
Schanke: I think he was about to. But Jonathan...Jonathan has this annoying habit of rethinking decisions, of changing his mind. I got a message from him the night he died. He wanted to meet with me the next morning to legally change the entire state. He said he finally figured out what he wanted in life.
Nick: Yeah, but when he died, the will he left split the estate between the two women?
Schanke: Yeah, and personally, I think Victoria should consider herself lucky.

Nick: Because chances are, he was about to leave it all to Julia Winwood. Something wrong?
Schanke: No.
Nick: What is it?
Schanke: You've done it again.
Nick: Done what?
Schanke: That was gonna be my news. I wanted to tell you that Julia Winwood's the other woman.
Nick: So, we both found out.
Schanke: Yeah, but you had to beat me to it. Then you scoop me with this news about the will.
Nick: It doesn't matter.
Schanke: Of course it matters!
Nick: We're partners!
Schanke: Oh, no, no, with you it's always a competition. You always, always, have to be first.

Nick: Would you slow down so we can talk?
Schanke: Why? Does it bother when I'm ahead? Would you prefer that I follow two steps behind?
Nick: Schank, don't do this.
Schanke: You know I think it's time for a little off loading here, time for a little truth. Why is it that you always have to top me, huh? Does it make you feel good when I look bad?
Nick: We are in this together. We are partners.
Schanke: So why did you talk to Coulter alone?
Nick: He was there, I grabbed the opportunity.
Schanke: You grabbed the glory for yourself, like always! Nick Knight, first one in, five minutes ahead of all the troops. No one knows exactly how he does it, but he's always there to make the collar, while his boston-baked-beans-for-brains-partner brings up the rear.
Nick: Schanke you are being irrational.
Schanke: No, I'm not, for the first time in my life, I'm seeing things absolutely clearly. I don't have a partner. I don't have a wife. I'm everybody's doormat.
Cohen: Do we have a problem here?
Schanke: Ask my partner.
Cohen: I'm asking you, Detective.
Schanke: We're having a constructive debate.
Cohen: About Levy, I hope.
Schanke: He was having an affair with his former assistant, one Julia Winwood.
Nick: His lawyer said that Levy was already preparing for his divorce and was altering his will.
Schanke: Victoria found out. Boom. Goodbye Jonathan. Now I vote that we arrest her before she (?)26.00.
Cohen: Knight?
Nick: I don't know. I'm having trouble seeing her kill him. I think Victoria was still in love. It's a gut call.
Schanke: Come on, Nick. She was being dumped! He was cutting her out of the estate!
Nick: His lawyer only said that Levy found what he wanted in life. He was changing his will, but he didn't say how.
Cohen: It's hearsay, anyway, not grounds for an arrest. Stay on it. Both of you. And stop acting like you're married. (She leaves)
Schanke: Happy now?
Nick: You want me to lie?
Schanke: No. I want you to back me. Trust that I'm on to something, that I've got instincts, a little bit of talent. But obviously that's a little bit much to ask, isn't it...partner?

Harry: Levy's computer was password protected like Madonna's home phone number. Sentries at all the gates. Figure out one password you're in. Try and cross-reference the files and boom, who goes there all over again. There's twelve tiers of passwords in all. Looked up the whole Levy family tree for half of them. And, since he wrote his own programs, you got to learn the language before the damn things will give you the time of day. But...read it, and weep.
Nick: The will?
Harry: That's affirmative.
Schanke: What about the kiss-off note, Harry?
Harry: It was on the machine, but this struck me as funny. Each file is dated time and day as usual.
Nick: And?
Harry: The suicide note was written two days before Levy died.

Nick: All someone would have to do is call up the file and hit the print button. The shooter could easily have done that before the maid arrived.
Schanke: My money is still on the wife.
Nick: Ah, but the assistant would have better access to the machine and the passwords.
Schanke: Than someone who lives in the house with them? Please.
Nick: What's the will say?
Schanke: Same as before. Fifty-fifty.

Schanke: After you.
Nick: No, no, no. Snakes and traitors first.
Schanke: After you.
(They step into the elevator together)

Julia: I had access to everything except that computer. It was Jonathan's private domain.
Nick: But he trusted you?
Julia: He loved me, as I'm sure you already know. The fact is, we were talking about marriage.
Nick: Did you know that he made provisions for you in the will?
Julia: That doesn't surprise me. He was a very generous man.
Schanke: Did Victoria know that Jonathan wanted a divorce?
Julia: I assume they discussed it, yes. Look, I'm not a home wrecker. Jonathan assured me his marriage troubles had began long before we fell in love. It's painful when long relationships end. I know, I've been through it. We were in love.

Victoria: I never doubted for a moment that Jonathan loved me.
Schanke: Did you know about your husband's affairs? Business as well as personal?
Victoria: We never discussed his work or money. We had separate accounts. His fortune was his own. I do know that most of what he had was kept in investments. Any liquid assets he had he kept in a numbered swiss account that even I can't access.
Nick: Did you have the passwords to his computer?
Victoria: They asked me that before they took it away. Of course not. As for his indiscretions.... Yes, I knew that Jonathan had extra marital liaisons.
Schanke: Did you know about Julia Winwood?
Victoria: Yes.
Nick: Schank....
Schanke: Did you know that your husband was going to leave everything to her in his will?
Victoria: I did not. No, I did not.

Nick: You had no right to ask her that. It's speculation. We don't know how he was going to change the will.
Schanke: It was worth it, just for her reaction.
Nick: It looked to me that she didn't know.
Schanke: So she's a good actress! Now, why can't we loosen it up, do things my way for a change?
Nick: Because you're allowing your personal crisis to interfere with your job.
Schanke: Crisis? What crisis?
Nick: Schank, your marriage is falling apart. You're transferring your frustration with Myra onto Victoria Levy.
Schanke: Oh, puleeze, spare me the whip, Dr. Freud. You know my personal life is in no way affecting my objectivity in this case.
Nick: That's a lie and you know it.
Schanke: So I'm a liar now, is that it? Well let me tell you something. And you can take this to the bank. We're through. As of first thing tomorrow morning, I'm requesting immediate reassignment!
Nick: No argument here.
Schanke: You know I might as well resign and move up to the Yukon. I'll get a warmer reception from the Eskimos.
Nick: Inuit Aborigines.
Schanke: Oh, how insensitive of me! How can you work with such a politically incorrect boor?
Nick: I don't know.
Schanke: Well after tomorrow you won't have to. You won't have Don Schanke to kick around anymore. You won't be able to use me for a doormat. You and Myra!

LaCroix: Did you really expect that she would stay with you forever? I want you to be painfully honest.
Nick: I loved her.
LaCroix: This has nothing to do with love. This has to do with moving on. Immortals cannot cling like lichen to the stone. It is our nature, our imperative to wander throughout the world, throughout time. We either change and grow, or we wither, and die...inside. And wouldn't that be eternal hell? Let her go, Nicholas. There's plenty more love left in the world.

Nick: (On the phone) Knight.
Janette: Nicolas, your friend is here.
Nick: Schanke.... What's he doing at the Raven?
Janette: He's scaring away my customers.
Nick: Keep an eye on him until I get there. And Janette? Go easy on him. He's going through a rough time.
(Nick hangs up, gets up, and then the phone rings again)
Nick: Janette?
Coulter: Detective Knight? It's Jay Coulter, Jonathan Levy's attorney. You asked me to keep an eye out. I...I just found something, well, weird. A very large transfer of funds from Jonathan's swiss account to another in the Caymans.
Nick: That's unusual?
Coulter: It was done after he died. Just a few hours ago.
Nick: Victoria Levy doesn't have assess to the account.
Coulter: As far as I know.

Schanke: Hey, hey, hey...barkeep, do not be stingy with these little umbrellas because tonight I am partying. An off-duty cop!
Janette: It's getting very late, isn't it?
Schanke: Later than you think. Did you know that friendship was dead? Along with loyalty, love, and Elvis. All dead. Muerte!
Janette: What is this thing?
Schanke: Oh yeah, its a gift from the light of my life. She gave it to me the day I graduated from the police academy. It's a duck. As in remember to...when the bullets start flying. Get it. (Half-laughs)
Janette: Sweet.
Schanke: Myra let me down, Nick let me down, just once, somebody let me up.
Janette: What if I let you...out?
Schanke: (his drink arrives) Drinky, drinky, drinky.

Schanke: You know, I can really see you two together. You must have really been something once.
Janette: It was a very long time ago.
Schanke: I know when, in college, right?
Janette: No...actually, it was closer to the Renaissance.
Schanke: You know I can't believe how a guy like Nick let a beautiful woman like you slip through his net. Unbelievable. If he was here, I would hit him upside the head.
Janette: Thank you. But in fact it was me who walked out on him.
Schanke: You and me both. I walked out on Myra. Why'd you leave?
Janette: I had my reasons.
Schanke: She's always singing show tunes around the house. Show tunes, show tunes, show tunes. It drives me crazy.
Janette: He was smothering me.
Schanke: I love her so much it scares me.
Janette: I couldn't accept the depth of his feeling for me. I wasn't used to that.
Schanke: So what choice do we have?
Janette: It's an act of self preservation.
Schanke: Yeah, exactly. I did the right thing, you know. It's not like I miss her.
Janette: It's just a habit really.
Schanke: Yeah, well maybe sometimes I think I hear her voice....
Janette: Or I see his face in a crowd....
Schanke: Or call her name out loud....
Janette: Or remember the softness of his kiss....
Schanke: Is it me or did we just walk into a Sinatra song?
Janette: Well in that case, it's time to go home, isn't it?
Schanke: You don't understand, I do not have a home to go to. Because I've been a five-star, major-league, olympic-sized....
Janette: Jerk?
Schanke: No. Man! Hombre! Why do we do it? We find a fantastic woman like Myra. We marry her kicking and screaming all the way to the alter, and we think uh-oh, we lost all our options. We convince ourselves that...that we're missing something, th-that there's something better out there, then we one day leave. We reclaim our independence. What a joke! What happens to a person when they leave the love of their lives looking for cheap, quick thrills?
Janette: In my case, usually homicide.
Schanke: Exactly! We ruin our lives throwing away the one decent thing we've ever had.
Janette: And what can we do then?
Schanke: I'll tell what you can do. You realize your mistake, you beg for forgiveness, and you give her everything that you've got and then you.... Wait a minute. Everything you've got. Like the entire estate. Oh, my God, that's what happened. That's what he was gonna do!
Schanke: Listen.... Oh, I need some coffee. Are you gonna see Nick?
Janette: He's supposed to come down.
Schanke: Okay, all right. Tell him I solved this one all by myself. I figured out what Levy wanted in his life. He wanted to stay married to his wife.

Schanke: (knocking on Julia's door) Police, Ms. Winwood.
Julia: Damnit.

Janette: That's all he told me. He said you'd know what it means.
Nick: It means he thinks Julia Winwood's the killer. She's already killed one man for money, she's not going to let a cop stand in her way. Do me a favour, would you? I want backup sent to this address. Tell them code three.

Julia: Good evening, Detective.
Schanke: Hello. You ah, spare a minute?
Julia: Actually, I'm travelling tonight.
Schanke: Really? Little vacation.
Julia: Business.
Schanke: Ah.... You know I, ah, I have some pictures of..of some suspects I'd like you to take a look at.
Julia: Keep your hand off the gun. Get in here. Move. Put your hands up. Do you think I won't shoot you?
Schanke: No...no, uh, I'm very frightened. Believe me lady, I am. You shot Jonathan Levy and you were sleeping with him. We hardly know each other, that makes me completely disposable.
Schanke: Don't screw around with me!

Nick: Nice going, Schank!

Nick mini-flashback:
Schanke: Nick Knight, always the first one in. No one knows exactly how he does it. Grabbin' all the glory.

Schanke: Third floor, ladies lingerie, shoes, handbags, and police custody.

Nick: Are you okay?
Schanke: For an interesting change of routine, you're late!

Schanke: Come on, we all got troubles. Who does not have troubles, huh? That is part of a relationship. Ups and downs, ups and downs, that is all part of the cycle. The cycle of life, mon amis. But you gotta see through that. You gotta just catch your stride, so that the grass on the other side of the fence doesn't look so green. And believe me, beneath that grass there is a lot of pungent fertilizer. Sometimes it's even astroturf--phony, unreal.
Cohen: So, in closing?
Schanke: So in closing, I would just like to say.... Thanks for this honour. I mean, It's really really nice to be appreciated. And it's even nicer to know that my partner is...Nick Knight. (A half-hearted attempt at an applause) Oh, you're too kind.
Nick: Thanks, Schank.
Schanke: Hey, I meant it.
Nick: So, you going to celebrate?
Schanke: Yeah, I'm taking Myra to the Trateria(?) Roma for some putenesca-gorganzola(??) and I'm going to get down on my hands and knees and I'm going to beg her to sing tunes from Westside Story. You know, if you're not busy you are, you are welcome.
Nick: No, I-I'd just get in the way. Besides, I've got my own making up to do. (Nick leaves)
Schanke: Isn't it great?! In recognition of meritory service and outstanding achievement...blah blah blah, blah blah blah...this award is hereby presented to the investigative team of Nicholas Knight and Donald...Shanke! Shanke! S-h-a-n-k-e. Oh man.... Captain!

Nick: Eternal friends?
Janette: Maybe more....
(They kiss....)