Frailty by Jarvinia Written: Nov-Dec 05 Posted: Jan 06 This story takes place mid-late second season. As usual, not faction specific (ask, and you'll likely get a 'yes' and a 'no' :P), but main characters are Natalie, LaCroix, Nick, Janette, roughly in that order (although Nick and Janette are pretty well tied, if not actually switched around...yes, there's really not much Nick in this, considering). I will say that this is NOT for any die-hard N&NPackers out there unless you don't mind straying from time to time, so those of you of the N&NP persuasion...be warned. May not be archived without permission, although if you'd like to, please do ask. Thanks goes to amethystshells, who did a read-through for me...all mistakes are mine, though. :) Comments (of almost any kind) accepted gratefully at jarvinia@gmx.com ~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~ Frailty - (01/13) Natalie abruptly sat up, barely feeling the comforter crumple onto her lap. Apart from an initial, deep inhale, she couldn't breathe. It had to be a dream. That's all that came to mind; that it had to have been some kind of horrible dream. It felt like a dream, was fading away just like a dream.... She wished she could believe it was just that, but as her breathing started back to normal, she knew something was very wrong. She was still in her work clothes from the previous day, although her jacket was no longer on. The collar of her shirt had been pulled open, the top couple of buttons missing. She faintly remembered being blindfolded almost immediately upon entering her apartment...and then the pain and disbelief as her blood was taken.... Other than that, all that now remained were flits of more pain, more darkness, and the disorientation of waking mere moments ago. Her breaths increased, becoming shallow and harder to take; she had been bitten. Natalie pushed the covers away and got out of the bed, nearly stumbling over her shoes as she darted for the door. The skin of her lower back protested at the fabric rubbing against it, almost as if she had been burned. Once to the bathroom, she flipped on the lights and forced herself not to flinch at the sudden brightness. She did, however, flinch at the dried blood on her shirt collar and the wounds peeking over the top edge of the fabric, where she had been bitten upon entering her apartment. She stepped closer to the mirror, and she could then see part of another wound on the other side of her neck, slightly lower, nearly on her shoulder. Both wounds were already beginning to heal. She closed her eyes, listening to her rapid heartbeat. That, at least, seemed normal. But.... Reopening her eyes and again staring in the mirror, she tensed. She knew there was more. Blood had also stained the back of her shirt and part of her right shoulder. When she pulled the blouse to the side, sure enough there was another bite wound. She checked the rest of the area around her neck and shoulders, and then even checked her wrists, but there were no more. Then, grabbing a hand held mirror out of a drawer she turned, pulled her shirt up and away from the sharp stinging, and then winced at the angry, red cuts on the right side of her back. The left side had nearly identical cuts, but they were neither red nor even painful. Natalie reached her right hand back, gently touching one of the painful cuts only to jerk her fingers away as she felt them begin to tingle oddly. The tips of her fingers were already inflamed, assuredly from the tan coloured liquid now clinging to them. The scent of garlic began to sting the delicate tissues of her nose as she cautiously smelled the liquid. She had noticed the faint scent upon waking, but hadn't thought much of it. Within seconds, she had the faucet on, trying to rinse the liquid and its smell off without getting it anywhere else. Once satisfied it was as gone as it would get, after rinsing with water and then washing her hands several times, her situation sunk in more firmly. A vampire had bitten her, three times. And.... Natalie tried, once again, to recall exactly what had been done to her, but everything was fading, as if it truly had been nothing but a dream. She had faded in and out of consciousness, and each time, upon waking, she had been cut. It had been done methodically for the purpose of-- No, she would not speculate on exactly why this had been done. There was no way she could do so, accurately, on her own. First came first: she had to rid herself further of the garlic, particularly the burning sensation on her back. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. An hour later, Natalie had finally finished cleaning the wounds and had taken a shower. Time had literally vanished. It had already been slowly creeping toward her shift, and she called in sick having already more or less planned what she would do that night. Still, she remembered no more about what had happened. What she did know was that she did not want to go to Nick about this. Nick would merely be angry and worried. And to whom would Nick go for answers, for help? Janette. It had taken her very little time to decide that was exactly what she was going to do. She had already dressed in black, hoping that when she went to the Raven she would at least not draw too much attention. She had considered calling, but she risked Janette calling Nick, and she definitely did not want Nick worrying over her before he even saw what had happened. After pulling on a pair of shoes and a dark navy jacket, Natalie went to the refrigerator to get a few pieces of lunch meat only to drop her jaw open in confusion: the vial of Nick's blood she had taken from him the previous night before work was gone, missing. Quickly, she scanned her apartment for the vial, but it had completely vanished. It hadn't been randomly left somewhere, and it hadn't been thrown out. She did, however, discover a wet towel and washcloth in the garbage, apparently bloodstained and haphazardly rinsed out by the faint brown- red stains. At least that explained the lack of blood on the carpet or anywhere else but her. She swallowed, aware that no matter why, exactly, this had been done, Nick would still blame himself. After all, she knew about vampires from Nick, and about the only thing that was clear was that she doubted this would have happened if she didn't know about vampires, if she didn't know about Nick. Not daring to let her mind wander any further than it already had, Natalie retrieved her keys and focused on one thing: getting in her car and driving to the Raven. Natalie did just that, practically on autopilot as the drive barely started before she had arrived. It wasn't until she was in the Raven and walking toward the bar among the Friday night crowd that it hit her what she was doing. Was, perhaps, her attacker here in the club? Did anyone know what had happened, or perhaps merely a rumour floating around about what one of them may have done? Would anyone be able to sense anything different about her? But as she crossed the club, only a few of the patrons gave her more than a glance. Some seemed to be summing up her suitability for a snack, as they likely did with any mortal who entered. Others seemed to recognize her, at which they quickly ignored her and turned their attention elsewhere. Reaching the bar, it was obvious to Natalie that Janette was either not in the club or, at the very least, not by the bar. Slowing her approach, Natalie watched the bartender poor two glasses of a very deep coloured, almost opalescent wine for a server, and then stash the bottle inconspicuously away. He had to know where Janette was, and she stepped purposely up to the bar's edge and, when the man turned to her, stated, "I need to see Janette." "She has asked not to be disturbed for the night." And then the bartender turned away. "I need to see her," she repeated. He stopped, returning his attention to the mortal. "I will not disobey her wishes on a whim. Come back tomorrow night. Then you can see her," Miklos slowly and firmly answered. "Now, perhaps a nice white wine, if you want a drink? On the house." Natalie leaned forward, as close to the bartender as she could without drawing too much attention. "This isn't a social call. Either take me to Janette, or I'm going to find her myself." "You wouldn't get to her." "No, but I might make enough noise to get her out here." Miklos nearly laughed, but the mortal's stony expression told him this was not a joke and that she knew exactly what she was doing. "You're serious. Why are you so intent on seeing Janette? Tell me, and I'll consider your request." Natalie stopped herself just before answering. For one, she wasn't one-hundred-percent positive this man was a vampire. Yes, it was very likely, but no one had explicitly told her if he was a vampire or not. For another, she didn't particularly want every vampire in the club to hear her reason. "You can tell me anything you can tell Janette. Or your friend, Nicholas." As that pretty much settled her first concern, she turned her head to the left and pulled on the hem of her jacket just for a second, just long enough so that he could get a quick glimpse of one of the wounds. Turning back, she asked, "Is that enough?" Miklos stiffened, gave the mortal a quick nod, and a young woman to watch over things for a couple of minutes, he moved from behind the bar. He took Natalie physically by the shoulders and turned her toward a nearby door. She already knew the door led to where Janette lived, and as Miklos led her forward, she glanced to him, her steps hesitant. "Aren't you going to call and tell--" "The phone is off the hook. As I said, she did not wish to be disturbed tonight, not for any reason," Miklos told her as he lightly knocked on the door, then opened it a second later and gestured for Natalie to enter. She did so, waiting inside, becoming slightly nervous as he shut the door behind them. How would Janette react, not only to her coming here, but as it turned out ruining what was apparently a night entirely away from the club? Miklos halted after they had taken mere steps inside. "How dare you bring a--" Janette cut off as she turned a corner and saw Natalie. "She has been bitten by one of us." "Who did this?" Natalie opened her mouth, but she couldn't talk. It was hard enough to tell Janette, but with the other here as well? Sensing Natalie's nervousness, Janette told Miklos, "Leave and do not speak of this," her eyes flashing red in warning. As soon as Miklos had left, she quietly asked, "Was it Nicolas? Is that why you have come to me?" "No, it wasn't Nick," she answered, voice shaking for the first time. "Then who? What happened, Natalie?" However much she didn't want to explain, she knew she had to. Even if she, herself, didn't know. "I'm not actually sure what happened. Yesterday morning when I came home, I was grabbed, blindfolded and bitten the instant I entered my apartment. I didn't see who it was, and I don't remember much of what happened after that. There...there's three bite wounds. And two sets of cuts on my lower back, one side saturated with garlic. And...a vial that had Nick's blood in it was missing from my refrigerator." Janette's anger at the disruption vanished, but a more dangerous type of anger replaced it. Her eyes flashed scarlet once again, but the strong emotions were quickly hidden when she sensed Natalie's pulse quicken and breaths become shallow. "Does Nicolas know about this?" "No. Nothing. I thought it might be better to come here. I'm not sure why...I guess because I figured Nick would come to you about this anyway. I didn't want to--" But she couldn't say it. It wasn't just that, but for some reason she truly didn't want Nick to know about this yet. Janette nodded, fully understanding the wish not to waste time. "Show me the wounds." Natalie nodded and took her coat off, wincing slightly as her shirt rubbed against the still-open wounds on her back. Janette stepped forward, glancing at the bite wounds on Natalie's neck. They all looked partially healed, further than the mortal's body should have healed half-day old wounds. "Turn around," she said, and when she saw the wounds revealed as Natalie lifted up the back of her shirt, she took an involuntary step back. The wounds on the left were much like the bites, perhaps even further healed. But on the right, the wounds were inflamed, the skin pale and the veins easily seen. "What was done to me? I haven't been brought across, but...." "Outwardly, you seem mortal. But you are no longer mortal. No mortal would react like this, as we would. No mortal's wounds could have healed this much in such a short period. I have never seen anything like this before, and I am sure Nicolas has not, either." Natalie let her shirt hem fall, and then she turned to Janette. It was clear the vampiress had more to say, and she had an idea what that was. "What about LaCroix?" "LaCroix...might know what has been done to you, and even if he doesn't, I believe he would know how best to proceed." "Then I want to see him." Janette's eyes widened slightly at the request, but she nodded. "I will call him and have him come," she stated, glad she did not have to make the suggestion to Natalie. Janette then went to the phone, first putting it back on the hook and then dialling the numbers for CERK. While LaCroix had finished broadcasting, she knew he would not be ready to leave just yet. As soon as it was picked up, she asked, "LaCroix?" "Janette?" "Come by the club after you leave." "Is something wrong?" "Ah--" "Something has happened. Tell me." "I think we should discuss this in person, LaCroix." After a short pause, LaCroix stated, "Very well," and hung up. Janette hung up and turned toward Natalie, managing a smile. "Now, would you like me to call Nicolas?" Janette didn't even wait, already dialling the number for the precinct. "I'm sure you would like--" "Ah, no. No, don't call him." Once the phone was back on the hook, Natalie told her, "I don't want Nick to know. Not yet. I want to know what's happening, first." "Hmm. Yes, perhaps that would be best." Janette watched the other look away and start to look around, somewhat nervously. The mortal was pale, no doubt from being drained, but she otherwise appeared remarkably well. "Would you like me to have something brought for you to eat? Drink?" Natalie shook her head. "Are you sure? Not even some water or wine?" she asked, advancing toward Natalie until she was only a foot behind her. "I'm sure. I don't want anything." "Then perhaps you would like to lie down, rest?" "No, I--" "It could be a while before LaCroix gets here, perhaps as late as sunrise." Natalie glanced back over her shoulder. "Or as soon as minutes?" Janette stiffened. "Yes, that is also possible. He immediately knew something was wrong; it is possible he has sensed more of what has happened." "Could he have already known, or have plan--" "No. No, LaCroix would not have planned this. He would take a much more direct path if he wanted to either kill you or bring you across." "That's assuring." "It should be, actually," Janette said with a faint and momentary smile. "And I do think you should rest. Come," she said, taking the other woman by the shoulders and guiding her down the hall to an unused bedroom. Natalie stopped just inside the doorway as Janette flipped on the light. The room was much like the rest of the Raven and Janette's home--the decor dark but elegant, not particularly feminine or masculine. "Rest. Perhaps even sleep some. I'm sure you are tired, whether you feel it or not." Even as Janette left, Natalie knew she would not rest and certainly not sleep. How could she? And she suspected Janette would be far from calm, at least until LaCroix arrived. Frailty - (02/13) "A mortal," LaCroix hissed almost the instant he entered Janette's apartment. "I told you it was something you should see, LaCroix." He approached Janette closer, and then spoke into her ear, "You asked me here to see some mortal!" "She is not a mortal!" "I hear her heartbeat as clear as any mortal. She is mortal." He started toward the pulse, only for Janette to move into his path. "Out of my way." "LaCroix, listen to her heartbeat, just for a moment. Listen, and then again tell me she is mortal." His anger high, LaCroix closed his eyes for a few seconds, focusing on the heartbeat...and he reopened his eyes a moment later, stunned. Janette was right; the heartbeat was out of the normal range for a mortal, even at rest. She once again stopped LaCroix from passing when he tried to continue back down the hall. "LaCroix, it is Nicolas' friend, Natalie Lambert. She was attacked by one of us, bitten three times and...something was done to her. She doesn't remember much. She said she had a vial of Nick's blood, and that it was missing when--" "Does Nicholas know?" "No, not yet." LaCroix nodded at that, and then went to the door of the room the heartbeat lured him too. Janette put her hand on LaCroix' arm, just as he reached for the doorknob. "Do not lie to her, LaCroix. And do not--" She cut off upon seeing LaCroix eyes turn scarlet. "You will stay here," LaCroix stated, watching Janette stiffen. Then, without knocking, he turned the doorknob and entered the room, pulling the door shut behind him even as his gaze locked with the mortal's. He watched her sit up from where she had been lying on her side, surprised that she only appeared mildly startled. Natalie swallowed as the man entered and walked toward her. So, this was LaCroix. He immediately struck her as elegant, refined. But she could also see that he was dangerous. Very, very dangerous, and she felt it as he pushed her neck to the side, his icy fingers even more chilling than Nick's. LaCroix just barely glanced at the wounds, to see for himself that a vampire had really done this. And, by the two wounds he glimpsed on her neck, it was clear that it had been. He didn't bother checking the third. Releasing her and taking a step back, he asked, "What else was done to you?" She shifted, turning so that she was sitting with her back to LaCroix, and lifted her shirt up much as she had for Janette. She winced as she felt LaCroix pushing the fabric up higher, as he touched the skin around the wounds. LaCroix recognised the reaction in the non-healed wounds in an instant. "Garlic," he whispered. "Yes." He let the fabric drop, his gaze turning away from the mortal even as she turned back to him. Snapping his gaze back on her, he demanded, "What do you remember?" "Very little. Just being grabbed as I entered my apartment, being drained...and then just flashes of what happened after that. I...when I woke, I'm sure I remembered more, but it faded like a dream does." LaCroix pulled the mortal by the arm, slowly, gently until she stood in front of him. "You must relax," he told her. "Relax your mind and--" "I don't know if--" "I am aware Nicholas was unable to alter your memories, that you are...immune to our influence. However, if you cooperate, if you do not fight this, then I can recover what happened to you. But you must relax. You must concentrate on doing exactly as I say. Willingly." Natalie nodded. She wanted to know what had happened. And she had wanted LaCroix to come. "Good. Now, relax your mind. Look into my eyes and focus on my voice." Once she had done so, he intoned, "*You came home from work. You entered your apartment, and then what, exactly, happened?*" "I closed the door. I reached for the light-switch, but hands grabbed me. I felt...." Natalie closed her eyes just for a second, before she felt LaCroix' hands on her face and she snapped them back open. "*And you saw what? Whom?*" "The outline of someone. A man." She didn't speak for a moment, trying to recall the split second she had seen her attacker. What did he look like? "Short hair. Short dark hair. He was thin, maybe six foot at most.... He didn't speak. Just...no, I--" "*You must remember. You must relax your mind and concentrate! What did he do? What did you feel?*" "I was spun, and I felt a sharp pain in my neck, then...getting weaker. Everything went black." "*And then?*" "I don't...I--" "*You said you remembered flashes of what happened. Focus on them. What happened during them? You woke up. Focus! Where were you?*" "I was on the floor. Face down. I...I remember someone pushing on my upper back, holding me down." "*What did you see?*" "There was blood on the palm of my hand, my right hand. And...and a very faint scar, like it had recently healed." "*And? What else?*" "Pain. Pain on my back. I was cut. Twice. Then something was put on one of the wounds. But...nothing. And then I was pulled back, to my side, and I felt the sharp pain again." Everything flashed by a second time in Natalie's mind, and it hit her. "That happened twice. The same. And then I woke up again." "*What was different?*" "What was different," Natalie repeated. "I can't, I don't know what- -" "*By then you had been bitten three times. What was different that made it just three? What was different?*" Again, Natalie closed her eyes only to be shaken slightly. By now, LaCroix' hands felt almost warm.... "My hand. There was no blood, not even a shadow of a scar. Like it didn't.... And then I felt a faint stinging on part of my back. And then when I was again cut, this time the liquid stung. I passed out, then it was after sunrise, and I woke on my bed. I--" LaCroix released the mortal, only to lift her hands up to look at her palms. Nothing. Not a single scratch was on either. Natalie felt her senses return to normal, and everything replayed, perfectly clear as if it had just happened. She looked down at her hands, and a sick feeling permeated through her. "Oh God...they must have given me Nick's blood, they were trying to give me just enough to change me. Just a little." She looked up at LaCroix. "Have I been brought across? I mean, I'm still somewhat mortal, but I know my pulse has slowed. Something's happened." "Yes, in a way. Not...properly." "But?" "I will return shortly," he told her, then went to the door and left the room. He closed the door and stood outside a moment before going to find Janette, who had vacated the apartment and gone into the now- empty club. As soon as she sensed LaCroix approach her from behind as she leaned against the bar, slowly drinking from a glass of blood, Janette asked, "How is she?" "Well, considering." "What--" "Not now, Janette. You will need to call Nicholas." Seeing his daughter turn toward the phone, he added, "Not yet. Wait until it's nearly sunrise, then call him. Simply tell him to come here. Say nothing of his doctor friend being here." LaCroix turned, brushing by Janette as he went to retrieve a bottle of blood from Janette's private supply. Returning to the room with a half-full bottle in one hand and a glass in the other, he found Janette standing outside the door, preparing to enter. He glared at her, at which Janette stiffened, turned the doorknob, and then backed out of his way and left. LaCroix then pushed open the door to see Natalie standing right where he had left her. He pushed the door closed with his elbow, not looking away. Natalie eyed the wine bottle and glass. "Sit down," LaCroix commanded, even as he sat the glass on the table next to the bed. He pulled the cork out and poured some into the glass. He could hear her pulse increase slightly, at which he told her, "This is not for you to drink." Natalie, still standing, asked, "Then what--" "Sit down and you will soon find out." LaCroix pulled out an immaculately white handkerchief, refolded it into ninths, and then dipped a corner into the glass, soaking it with blood. Natalie's eyes didn't leave the cloth in LaCroix' hand, even as he sat down on the edge of the bed and then pulled her down to sit as well, her back to him. "What are you going to do with--" "Just relax," he said, using one hand to push her head to the side. The action made Natalie flinch back and pull away, only to be held back, the hand that had been above her ear now wrapped around her waist, keeping her from standing. "Relax! I will not harm you." Natalie closed her eyes, nodding more to herself than LaCroix. And she kept them closed while LaCroix repeated his earlier action, and she felt the cool gooeyness of the blood-soaked handkerchief pressed against her neck, about where she had first been bitten. When he took it away, dipped it in the glass again and replaced it, Natalie asked, "The blood, it's--" "Human blood. It is speeding your healing." While LaCroix rewet and reapplied the bloodied cloth to the first bite wound, and then later the other two wounds nearby, Natalie sat still and completely silent. She couldn't feel anything as it was happening, not until LaCroix reached the third wound. Then, she felt a faint tingling that she knew was neither LaCroix' hand touching her nor the blood. She involuntarily shivered at the sensation. "You felt something," LaCroix stated, pulling the handkerchief away. And he caught the last few seconds of healing as the puncture marks vanished along with any blood-residue. "Yes. That wound healed faster, didn't it?" She watched him nod. "Is this...what you're doing, is it making me change further?" "Yes." Natalie stood and turned. "Then why are you doing this?" "Because it won't change the end result. You will change." "How far?" "Very." "How far, LaCroix?" "Perhaps completely. I recommend that you either be brought across, properly, or killed." Natalie involuntarily took a step back. Killed? "And if nothing is done?" LaCroix didn't immediately answer. He was not fully certain of the answer himself, but he had seen enough to guess. "You will, very likely, slowly be overwhelmed by instinct as you either come partially or fully across. Or, possibly, it will happen far more simply, more smoothly." "How long?" "I would guess two or three days, but it could be up to a week...or as little as a day." He could see her thoughts running wild at that, wondering. It was less time than she wanted, less than she had hoped. But despite the minor amount of panic, he could see her strength. "Come to me if and when you feel any...urges. Come to either Janette or myself. Do not go to Nicholas. I will tell him that you must be brought across soon and that you are already becoming one of us, nothing more." "You're going to call him, then?" "Janette will. Soon. She'll make sure he arrives just before sunrise. Now," he said, standing and pouring more blood into the nearly empty wine glass, "Lie down, face down, and relax." Natalie hesitated, even as she watched LaCroix dunk the handkerchief entirely into the blood, smothering it. "I'm sure you would like the wounds and the accompanying discomfort gone. Lie down, and this should be dealt with quickly." She nodded and did as told. LaCroix then sat on the edge of the bed, pushed Natalie's shirt out of the way, and applied the handkerchief to the worst of the wounds. Natalie closed her eyes as the tingling returned, this time more apparent. She then felt and saw as LaCroix went back for more several times, and minutes later, she felt the tingling taper. A few more minutes, and her shirt was pulled back down, the wounds apparently healed. "I will return with food," he told her, standing and pushing the cork back into the neck of the bottle of blood. "Mortal food," he then emphasised, seeing her attention stray to the glass of blood, which still had some blood in it. "You will eat, and then rest." Natalie sat up as LaCroix left. It was clear he wasn't going to give her a choice in the matter, whether she wanted anything to eat or not. But it had been nearly twenty-four hours since she had eaten anything. And she was tired, very tired. Frailty - (03/13) "She has to be brought across?" Nick asked as he stopped pacing and sank onto the couch. "There's no other choice?" "Well, there is the option of death," LaCroix stated, almost smiling at the other's disbelief. "But she will not want that option anymore than you do. Therefore, she will need to be brought across. And soon, Nicholas, soon." Janette cautiously sat next to Nick, who seemed a bit shocked between LaCroix' explanation of what had happened to Natalie and what now would have to happen. She rested the back of her hand against the side of his neck, but he didn't react. "Where is she?" "Sleeping," LaCroix stated. "She's in the spare room. I am sure that she would not mind being woken." When Nick didn't react, Janette took her other hand and turned Nick's face to look at her. "Nicolas, go to her. Allez à elle, mon cher." Slowly, Nick stood, and he headed cautiously to the other room, stopping at the door. He opened it and walked in, not bothering to close the door. Natalie was sleeping on her side, very pale, her heartbeat slow and steady. A half-eaten sandwich remained on a plate on the nightstand, a nearly empty glass of water sitting nearby. Nick was unsure which mattered more. Was it that she was, clearly, becoming a vampire, her pulse impossibly slow for a mortal? Or should he hope at the partially eaten mortal food? And what was she, right now? Not mortal and not vampire...but if he had to pick, which was she closest to? Mortal, it had to be. Her heart still beat and she had recently eaten. Nick sat on the edge of the bed and reached out to Natalie's face, gently brushing her cheek as said her name. "Natalie? Nat, wake up. It's Nick." Natalie snapped her eyes open, noticing her apparent lack of immediate tiredness. She just woke up, with no lag as her body switched gears. She hadn't had that happen in some time. "Nat?" She looked up at Nick, only to want to turn away. He must have just been told, because he seemed shocked--far more so than even she was upon waking earlier that night and realising what had happened. "LaCroix, he told you?" "Yes. He said you'll need to be--" he cut off, unable to finish the sentence. "Brought across. Yes." "LaCroix could be wrong. You seem closer to being mortal than not. Your skin is warm, your heart--" "Nick, I'm not mortal. And I'm not even in a stable state of...whatever I am. The wounds have healed. I suppose he told you that as well?" Nick looked away. Yes, LaCroix had told him, but that was minor, wasn't it? "I will have to be brought across, Nick," she stated, sitting up. "LaCroix is not wrong about this; I can feel that he's right. It will have to be done. I think I've known it, on some level, all night; perhaps ever since I was bitten." Nick turned back to face Natalie. He tried to discern what she felt, but there was nothing. Her pulse was still just as steady, just as slow. And outwardly, her expressions seemed mixed. She seemed calm with a hint of apprehension. "How do you feel?" "Afraid and a bit stunned. I mean, I had no warning...." Nick slowly nodded. "And...physically?" "Right now? Fine," she told him. Then, a bit nervous, she glanced away and added in a near-whisper, "Better than I've felt for a while, actually." "Do you want me to stay? It's not quite dawn, if you'd rather I left?" "Of course I want you to stay," she said, but she kept her gaze averted. By not telling him earlier, by not going to him first, she had hurt him. "I didn't want you to worry." "What do you think I did when I learned you'd been attacked? That you had been here with Janette? Alone with LaCroix?" "Nick, I knew you trusted Janette. That's why I came here. I wanted to waste no time if there was a chance this was reversible." "And LaCroix? Has he--" "He has been downright kind to me. I wouldn't have remembered what happened if he hadn't helped me remember." Nick stood, turned, and took several steps away. "When I got here and asked why LaCroix was here, Janette told me, 'Because LaCroix wanted.' Not because you wanted, but because he wanted." "Nick, I want you to stay." She stood and walked over to him, putting her hands on the back of his shoulders. She then whispered, "I had thought you would want to stay. I had expected, hoped, that you would." Nick turned, Natalie's hands now resting against his chest. "This.... Natalie, I'm sorry." "Nick--" "This was done because you knew about the Community. You knew about me, about Janette, about--" On an impulse, Natalie slid her arms up, onto Nick's shoulder to his neck, and pulled him into a kiss. It was barely more than a second before her tongue touched his fangs, and she deliberately sliced her tongue on them on an impulse, which only deepened the kiss. Once the blood no longer freely flowed, Nick pulled back and held Natalie at arm's length for a second. Then he leaned forward, letting his forehead rest against hers, his hands around her neck and eyes closed. He wanted this...had wanted it for some time. "Natalie...." "I don't care, Nick. Don't blame yourself for this. I wanted to help you and I knew the dangers." "But did you expect this?" "No. But is this necessarily a bad thing, Nick? Is it?" This time, it was Nick that kissed Natalie. A short, constrained kiss as he held back. He knew he couldn't do this. "Bring me across, Nick. Do it now." "I want to." He nearly kissed her again, but stopped just short of her lips. "I wish...." Tilting his head down, slightly to the side, he pulled Natalie closer, kissing her neck. He inhaled her scent, the teasing aroma of her blood so very tempting.... Once again facing Natalie straight on, once more restraining himself from kissing her, he told her, "I really do want to, Nat, but I can't. Not right now." Natalie nodded; she had half-expected this refusal, had known it was coming. "But you will stay?" He wanted to bolt or shake his head in refusal, but he could do those no more than he could take her blood. "Yes." *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Janette walked over to LaCroix as he retreated from the hall near the spare room, nearly half an hour after Nick had gone back to see Natalie. She wordlessly handed him a full glass of blood, but then stated, "He won't do it. You know he won't." "What?" "You were watching them. She asked, didn't she?" He took the glass from Janette, taking a sip of the blood, and then answered, "Yes." "And? LaCroix?" LaCroix looked in the general direction of the other room, where its occupants had been resting, lying on the bed for several minutes. He had left when Nicholas had fallen asleep. "LaCroix?" she again asked as LaCroix sat down on the couch. "No, he won't," he said, recalling both the conversation he had overheard and the glimpse of a Nicholas caught so very close to doing as asked, as wanted. "He wants to, but his...morals are preventing him. Nicholas will not bring her over." "Do you think Natalie is aware?" "Yes." Janette sat next to LaCroix, facing him, leaning against the back of the couch. "If Nicholas refuses.... LaCroix, I cannot bring her across, I would assuredly kill her. If she asks you, if she asks to become one of us, will you do it?" LaCroix didn't answer. He had considered bringing his son's mortal friend across or persuading him to do so of his own will, thought how it might perhaps bring him to his senses. But did he really want another child? Particularly one that, given his son's friendship with her, would be a relationship that would possibly last centuries? Frailty - (04/13) "Natalie?" Janette called as she knocked and entered the spare bedroom later that night, after LaCroix had taken Nick into the club to talk. Stepping into the room, Janette initially saw only an empty room. But she could hear Natalie's slow heartbeat, so very close.... And then, in a split second, Janette found herself shoved against the wall next to the door. She was so stunned she didn't immediately react. Seeing Natalie's faintly golden eyes, Janette's jaw dropped slightly open and she let her tenseness melt away. "Natalie?" "Where is LaCroix?" Natalie asked, making no move to release Janette. "He is speaking with Nick," Janette quickly answered, still surprised by the clear changes in the other. She then slowly and gently pulled Natalie's hands off her shoulders, carefully holding her golden gaze. "I will have LaCroix come as soon as he returns." Then, she added, "If he does not return within the next few minutes, I will make sure he knows to cut his conversation with Nicolas short. I'll be back with him soon." Natalie slowly nodded, her eyes falling to her hands that Janette now held closely together in front of her. Janette tried to smile, and then slid sideways toward the door as she released Natalie's hands. Then, she pulled the door closed. She stood outside the door for several seconds before going to wait for LaCroix. The few passing hours of daylight had possibly done more than even LaCroix had expected. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. In the main part of the club, Nick paced. LaCroix wanted him to go to work, and he wanted to do no such thing. "There is nothing you can do here, Nicholas." Nick abruptly stopped. He could do something. He was her friend, she knew him, unlike either Janette or LaCroix. "I should be here for her." "And do what? Watch her? Follow her around? She will only see your guilt and hatred for what has happened to her. It will do nothing to comfort her. What it will do, however, is make her insecure and only add to her worry. Is that what you want?" "And go to work and do what? Ignore her? That's what I feel like I'm being forced to do, LaCroix. And that's not what I want to do. I need to do something for her, anything." "Then perhaps consider bringing her over." LaCroix turned and went back to the door for Janette's apartment. "I do not expect to see you until morning. Either go to your work or go home. Perhaps spend the time prioritising your desires in some more reasonable order...." With that, LaCroix turned and left Nick alone in the club. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. The instant LaCroix came in, Janette flew over to him and took him by the arm, preventing him from stepping more than a couple feet into the room. "Nicholas is gone, yes?" Janette asked. "Until morning. Something is wrong, what is it?" "Natalie, she is..." Janette paused, and then whispered, "She is hungry, LaCroix. And her eyes...." LaCroix needed no more, and he pushed past Janette. He picked up a glass and filled it full with blood, even as Janette stared on anxiously. Then, he headed to Natalie's room. Not bothering to knock, LaCroix slowly pushed the door open, immediately scanning the room for Natalie, at which he found her across the room, sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall. When Janette approached him, he gave her a harsh glance, making sure she knew to leave them alone. Once Janette had left, he focused on Natalie's eyes as he remained standing in the doorway. She was changing so very fast. And she was certainly no longer human, no longer mortal. Perhaps his son should have stayed? But, no, it was best for him to occupy himself elsewhere. Stepping fully into the room, LaCroix pushed the door nearly shut behind him. Then, he walked over to Natalie and held the glass out to her, only to pull it back when she snatched for it. "No!" he hissed. "You must focus. Think about what is happening." "Give it to me." "No. You must not give in, not completely. You must remain aware of your feelings, your desires, but you must not be controlled by them." Natalie closed her eyes, trying to do as asked. She needed to be calm. LaCroix hadn't said it, but that's what she needed. Calm. Then, she could get what she wanted. She opened her eyes, now no longer gold, and looked up at LaCroix. "Good. Now..." he said, again handing the glass to Natalie, who took it cautiously. "Drink slowly." Natalie stared into the glass for a moment--a matter of only seconds- -before she took a sip. It was nothing like she had ever tasted, and it was sweet, but not overly. It didn't taste like she expected it would. And she wanted more, not caring what it was. She continued to sip the blood, and once the glass was half-empty, she felt the immediate need and want for the blood to fade. After taking a couple more drinks of the liquid, Natalie handed the glass back to LaCroix, who took it from her without a word. When LaCroix turned and went to the door, she abruptly asked, "Nick won't do it, will he?" LaCroix didn't answer, merely pausing a second before heading for the doorknob. "It has to be done soon, doesn't it? Very soon." "Yes." "If...if Nick won't, will you?" "Bring you over, or kill you?" "Preferably the first." "And if I, too, refuse?" Natalie hesitated a moment, but evenly answered, "Then kill me. I'm not sure I'll be able to handle this for much longer, especially if it gets worse. And it will, won't it? This isn't going to happen smoothly, is it?" Again, LaCroix didn't respond. Natalie understood what was happening, and she both knew and understood what had to happen. So very calm.... But he didn't answer and, instead, he left the room, pulling the door closed behind him. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Returning to the Raven after work, Nick silently sat down next to Natalie on the couch. He tried wrapping his arm around her shoulders, but she pulled away from him. It made him wonder if perhaps Natalie didn't want him there today? He couldn't help but think it could be a possibility. Even with LaCroix there, Natalie didn't seem overly uncomfortable, and just maybe she truly didn't want him there even if she said otherwise. Natalie fidgeted a little under Nick's obtrusive gaze. The blood from earlier had helped at the time and had even seemed like a cure for several hours. Then it had started to slowly wear off. Since Nick had returned, the fading help had only decreased further, to the point that she was having trouble focusing. She would need more blood soon, she suspected, especially with the way Janette seemed concerned and how LaCroix carefully watched her every move. And now Nick, too. Their intentions were good, but it was all just too much. After several more minutes, Natalie stood and went to the spare room. She could almost feel Nick follow her, even as she heard nothing. She entered the room, walking several steps in before stopping. Mere seconds passed, and the door clicked shut. Nick's eyes caught on the plate of food, untouched but for a bite. "I can't eat mortal food, Nick," she told him, and then slowly turned to face him. "I tried, but...I can't. I can't even drink water, not even a couple sips. Nothing." Nick gave a very slight and short nod. "You pulled away earlier. Do you want me to stay?" Did she? Did she want Nick to know how very un-mortal she was becoming and how quickly? That her lack of the ability to eat was only the start? Nick had no idea what had happened earlier, no idea that she had more than just craved blood, more than just lusted for it, but that she had needed it...and drank some, to satisfy the demand. And that she hadn't minded it and in fact wanted more.... Her thoughts were so far from what they would have been only days before. And if Nick knew.... "Nat?" Having trouble concentrating, Natalie forced her attention back on Nick and strainfully smiled. "Stay. Please stay." "You seem tired," Nick said, taking a cautious step forward. "I am. And at the same time, I'm not." "How do you feel, otherwise?" Natalie glanced away, and then whispered, "Different." Watching as Nick approached and then reached out toward her arms, she stopped him, holding his arms back with her hands, and then turned her gaze back on him. "I really don't want to talk about it. Not now. I mean, it's been done. And I'm sure things will be different once--" She suddenly stopped, not wanting to say it, knowing Nick would know, anyway. Nick turned away. "LaCroix mentioned you were going to think about it some more. And, ah...." "I still don't know." "Because you don't want to, or because--" "I want to bring you over, Nat," he said, quickly turning back to her. "I think we both know that. But I just.... I want to, but I'm not sure I can. I could take too much and kill you, I might start and take your blood but hesitate at the last moment, I might--" Natalie raised her hand and pressed her fingers momentarily to his lips, stopping his words. "I know. I just...I didn't know if more time would help. No harm in asking, right?" "No, no harm. And...I am still considering it." Natalie nodded, but had a feeling that if Nick hadn't done anything by now, it wouldn't happen. Then, smiling faintly, Natalie took Nick's hands in hers and stepped over and back to the bed. "Natalie...." "I am tired, Nick. More mentally than physically. And I would like you to stay." She could see his hesitation. "I'm neither asking nor expecting you to bring me across. Just lie down with me and be near me as I rest?" Nick nodded, and let Natalie lead him to the bed. He watched her lay down on her side, facing away from him. Slowly, Nick lay behind her and held Natalie from behind, his arms around her waist and his lips falling into place mere inches behind her ear. Moments after they had lain down, Natalie fell asleep, clearly more tired than she had believed. Her slow heart rate both soothed and worried him. It had slowed much since he had left for work, and he was sure it had slowed more even since he had returned. He feared what it would sound like when he woke the following night. He knew she had to be brought across, but even as he laid there, his descended fangs so very close to her neck, he knew he wouldn't be able to do it. He might make it as far as biting her, but draining her and bringing her over? How could he do that to her after everything she had already experienced with this? And yet, it had to be done. And he wanted to do it, but he just couldn't bring himself to do so. Nick lightly kissed her neck, and then closed his own eyes, pulling Natalie even tighter to him. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Walking, slowly, aimlessly in the club, Natalie shivered slightly. She didn't remember leaving either her room or Janette's apartment. All she knew was that she wanted something, and her eyes shifted to the bar. And then she heard something shift from the side and suddenly started toward it for no particular reason other than it felt like a good idea. Natalie walked through a door and downstairs into a wine cellar. Bottles and bottles of wine. Wine, and.... She instinctively pulled out a bottle. Blood. Her focus was now entirely on this one bottle. She wanted it, but how to get it open? She jumped slightly and turned to find Janette walking silently down the stairs. Natalie's attention quickly went back to the bottle, ignoring Janette. Janette paused on the steps. Natalie's eyes were gold once again. "Natalie?" she called, but the other didn't look toward her, so engrossed on the bottle. Janette approached, walking up to Natalie and touching her on the arm. Natalie jerked away, clutching the bottle tightly and glaring at Janette. "Give me the bottle, Natalie. Give it to me, and we'll go upstairs." Again, Natalie backed away, her eyes still focused on staring Janette down. Abruptly, she ran into an open door and a vampiress hissed at her, causing Natalie to drop the bottle. It shattered, the scent of blood assaulting them all. And even as the young woman continued to snarl at her, clearly afraid, Natalie backed up, this time right into Janette. She again spun, this time again facing Janette, unafraid of and uncaring about the unknown vampiress. "Natalie, come with me." Natalie hesitated, glancing back at the open door and the curious vampires--now more than just the young woman that had hissed at her-- peeking at her in fear. They knew something was wrong with her. Janette reached forward and gently pulled Natalie's arm, urging her toward the stairs. "Come." This time Natalie followed, and Janette lightly pushed Natalie so that she would ascend the stairs first. Once Natalie was going up the steps, Janette turned back to the young ones and let her eyes flash a bright red, warning them to stay away. Back in the main part of the club, Natalie slowed upon seeing LaCroix. Still very jumpy and not reasoning as she normally would, Natalie turned back upon again hearing the vampiress approach, this time staring at her from behind the door leading to the cellar. Natalie backed up, watching as Janette hissed at the other woman. Suddenly, Natalie felt hands wrap around her arms and pull her gently back. She spun and lashed out at LaCroix, slicing him across the face with her nails. LaCroix had turned his head at the action and had released Natalie. He continued looking to the side for a moment, and then turned to Natalie, his bright golden gaze meeting hers. Instinctively afraid, Natalie stepped back only for Janette to take her from behind, holding her arms back and down. The touch was far rougher this time, and she fought against the grip. LaCroix then pulled Natalie to him, spinning her around and pulling her roughly back against him. She struggled far more than a mortal would be able to, and he had to use ever more force to keep her in place. Janette released Natalie's hands and looked to LaCroix, who appeared to want nothing to do with this, still angry from the cuts on his cheek. He looked ready to out-right kill Natalie and not bother bringing her across. And then Nick arrived and rushed toward Natalie, just as LaCroix struck, biting into Natalie's neck as she screamed. Nick continued forward, wanting to stop this, but Janette moved in front of him. She tried to push him back, keep him away from Natalie, but he didn't allow it. He shoved her away with far more force than was usual, even for him, and as LaCroix lowered Natalie to the floor, he pulled LaCroix away from her. Again, Janette tried to pull Nick back, but he wouldn't let her. "Nick, please, we must go. We must let LaCroix finish this." Nick relaxed, but only enough for Janette to lead him away and back toward her apartment. He kept his eyes fixated on LaCroix and Natalie. LaCroix was enraged at the disruption and hesitated, his attention locking onto his son for several seconds before returning to Natalie. Watching LaCroix first bite into his own wrist and then let that blood trickle into Natalie's mouth, Nick closed his eyes and finally let Janette turn him around. It was done. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Nick leaned against the wall just inside the door to Natalie's room, watching her. She slept so very calmly and looked more at peace than she had either earlier that day or the previous day. Maybe this would be okay? It wasn't what either of them wanted, but.... "I thought I told you to leave?" LaCroix commented from the doorway, his words harsh with annoyance. Nick turned his head to the side. "I want to be here when she wakes." "And I think it would be better if you were not." "Natalie is--" "My child, Nicholas! Mine, not yours. And as I do not want you here when my daughter awakes as one of us, you will not be." LaCroix spun and left. A moment later, Janette appeared in the doorway. "Perhaps you should go, Nicolas? It might be better for Natalie, and work would at least keep you busy." Janette watched him turn back to Natalie. "I know you want to stay. But LaCroix has made his wishes clear. If it helps, Nicolas, know that I will be here." Nick closed his eyes, fully aware than Janette was right--he would not have the choice. If LaCroix wanted him to stay away tonight, then LaCroix would see to it he did. Suppressing his growing rage, Nick turned and left. Once Nick was gone from her apartment, Janette asked LaCroix, "Why do you want to keep him away from her, LaCroix?" "Nicholas has already caused enough disruption for the night." "It's more than that. It has to be. You think he'll try to interfere if he remains?" LaCroix didn't answer her, at which Janette asked, "You aren't going to give her bottled blood, are you? You're going to make her--" "I will not force her to do anything. She will do as needed of her own free will." "Give her a choice, let her--" "I will proceed as I see fit!" Janette took an involuntary step back. She remained silent, not daring to push the subject any further. Clearly, LaCroix would not be changing his mind no matter what she said. "Now, I believe you have a club to open. Then, you will look for a suitable 'candidate'." Janette nodded, whispering, "Oui, LaCroix," as the other spun and headed back to Natalie's room, leaving her standing alone. Frailty - (05/13) Natalie woke as if she had just had a very restful, very long, and amazingly recuperative sleep. She felt...wonderful. And she felt so very hungry, the hunger far different than anything she had felt before. LaCroix approached, smiling, and held out a hand toward Natalie. "Take my hand," he commanded, the words gentle but firm. Natalie shifted, propping herself up with one arm. The offer was very tempting, as she knew what would likely happen next. She was so very hungry...the so-called hunger she had felt the previous night nothing more than a fleeting craving. She reached out her hand to take LaCroix' and nearly pulled back at the lack of coldness. But then, a vampire's skin wouldn't feel cold to another vampire, would it? She let LaCroix slowly pull on her arm, forcing her out of the bed and leading her toward the door. "LaCroix, I--" "Shh. It won't be long," he told her, still smiling as he led Natalie out of the room and toward the club. Just before exiting, he explained, "We will be inside the club for a moment, and you may wish to close your eyes. I will continue to lead you by the hand." Natalie didn't even have the opportunity to nod in answer before LaCroix led her into the club. The many heartbeats assaulted her, and she saw nothing but blood red shapes moving to the music, walking to the.... Natalie shut her eyes and let LaCroix guide her through the club and the thick throng of clientele. LaCroix caught Janette's gaze almost instantly, and she gave him a grudging but firm acknowledgement that she had, indeed, done as asked. He then led Natalie out the back of the club, stepped behind her and, picking her up, flew them both away from the club. Feeling cool air rush around her, Natalie opened her eyes. They were moving so very fast, and she felt an urge to push LaCroix away and fly on her own. However, now they were heading for the ground and LaCroix set them down in a very dark and clearly deserted alley. Seconds later, Janette landed a short distance away facing them, holding a dazed young woman that was in her mid-twenties in front of her. Natalie instinctively tried to move closer, only to feel LaCroix' hands on her shoulders, reminding her that this was no dream. She really was a vampire, and LaCroix and Janette had arranged this for her. And she knew what she would now do, what she had to do. "She has what you want, yes?" "Yes," Natalie answered. "Take it." Natalie stayed in place, torn between doing as asked and pulling back. The first was what she wanted and needed, and the second...confused her just enough that she froze, not reacting. "You do want--" "Yes," Natalie said, cutting LaCroix off. "I want it so very much," she added, taking a single step forward. "Then do as you want, do as you desire." Natalie's eyes deepened, just for a second as her wants flared at his urging. And then, as they returned to a calm gold, Natalie took a slow step forward, and then another slightly quicker and stronger step. Two more urgent yet focused steps closer, and then she easily flew the remaining distance, stopping right in front of the young woman. For a second, Natalie did nothing, merely standing there and staring into the other's eyes. The overwhelming instinct from the previous night was gone and she found it almost easy to pause. She slowly raised one hand to the woman's face, the skin meeting her fingers so very warm. Her lips parted, and if the woman had been aware of her surroundings, by now she would have been screaming in fright and attempting to flee. Natalie felt a hint of pleasure at that thought, an instant before she pushed the woman's face to the side and, pulling the woman free from Janette's hold, she bit the woman. With the first drop of blood, Natalie just wanted her blood even more. And that's all she wanted. Just the blood, just this woman's life. She barely paid attention to the snips of emotions and memories that invaded her mind. So very vivid and fleeting.... And then it, too, vanished as the woman's life ended, the blood becoming more difficult to take. She continued to drink until she could take no more, and then lowered the woman to the ground, half-dropping her now lifeless body. Natalie closed her eyes for a moment, letting the experience settle. LaCroix openly grinned when Natalie then turned to face him. Her eyes were a bright gold for a second before fading back to normal, at which her eyes became clear and sparkled with vibrant pleasure. He watched as she licked her lips of what little blood remained clinging there. "Yes, that was very good, wasn't it?" When her eyes merely flashed amber for a second, he slowly nodded in approval. "Yes. Very good." Then, LaCroix turned his attention to Janette. "Take Natalie back to the Raven. I will join you shortly." Janette nodded and then approached Natalie. Once next to her, Janette reached out a hand and took one of Natalie's, leading her gently away. Natalie felt Janette tug her hand faintly upward, and she glanced to Janette. Aware what the tug meant to suggest, Natalie instinctively took to the air, and she and Janette left the alley. They had nearly reached the Raven when Janette realised that Natalie had another destination planned. It took only seconds before she knew where that was--Nick's work. And as Natalie seemed to be an apt flier, she had little choice but to follow. As soon as Natalie landed, Janette flew just a touch further, landing between Natalie and the building. "LaCroix will be expecting us at the Raven." Natalie went to walk around Janette, but the other grabbed her arm. "I know you want to see him, but you cannot. Not right now. LaCroix will not be long, and you are, I believe, technically sick. It would not be wise to appear where that will be questioned." Reluctantly, Natalie nodded, and she turned and again flew off, heading to the Raven. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Schanke tapped a pencil repeatedly on his desk, his attention entirely on his partner--who had been out of it for days. But tonight, Nick was even more far-gone. Schanke tossed down the pencil. "Okay, Nick, what's going on?" No answer. "Come on, Nick!" Nick snapped his attention to his partner. "Schanke? What?" "What? Nick, you're more distracted than usual. What's up?" Nick looked away and shook his head as if nothing was wrong. "How's Natalie doing? Nothing's wrong, is there?" Nick turned abruptly back to Schanke. "I know she's off sick, but I mean, this is the third night. It's not anything serious, you think?" At that, Nick's thoughts strayed off once again. It was very serious, but what could he say to Schanke? Oh, it's fine, Nat's just off learning what it's like to be a vampire.... "You two talk outside work, right? She say anything to you?" "Ah, yeah," Nick quickly answered. "Yeah, what?" "Yeah, she doesn't think it's anything serious, but--" "But?" "But she said she doesn't think she'll be back right away." "So, what's up then? I mean--" "Schanke, she'll be fine, okay?" Nick curtly said, the words biting and harsh. "Okay, okay...I was just curious." Nick didn't look at Schanke as the other continued on, mumbling about how it shouldn't have caused offence. Nick knew it shouldn't have, but he couldn't help but be on edge. Natalie had assuredly woken by now. He had even felt a hint of...something a few moments ago, but it hadn't been Natalie, but Janette. He didn't know what that meant. It could have been something entirely unrelated. He hated being stuck here, and was tempted to go by the Raven to see Natalie. Only the knowledge that LaCroix would literally throw him out made him decide against it. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Arriving back at the Raven, Janette followed Natalie's every movement. Something seemed wrong. It was more than just disappointment from not being able to see Nick, but she hadn't noticed anything unusual about Natalie's behaviour from earlier to help determine what was different. Abruptly, she asked, "Something is bothering you." When Natalie turned to her, she saw a hint of fright glinting in her otherwise lively gaze. She then carefully prodded, "Are you okay with what--" "With killing?" Natalie said, calmly and simply finishing Janette's question. Janette stiffened, surprised at the tone. "Yes. I wasn't going to put it that bluntly, but yes." "No. No, it doesn't bother me." "But something is, oui? Something related to killing that woman, perhaps?" Natalie turned around, facing away from Janette. "Yes." "And you are bothered by...what, exactly?" "Her thoughts and emotions. I wasn't particularly paying attention, but I got plenty to, ah...." "It can be overwhelming." "It is more than overwhelming. Her thoughts, my thoughts.... For a time, I wasn't sure which were mine and which weren't." "That is normal. The effect has faded now, yes?" "Yes." Janette watched Natalie again turn back toward her. "The woman's thoughts; they are bothering you." Natalie nodded. "Yes, a little. She wanted death. If she had been given the choice between me killing her or living, a conscious choice, one of her own free will, I'm sure she would have chosen death. It was unexpected. I mean, it makes sense with what else I felt, but...it was sudden, and so strong." Janette walked over to Natalie and gently took her upper arms, holding her steady. "Do not dwell on their thoughts no matter how pleasant or unpleasant. Not the blood from the woman you killed nor blood from any other source. It is fine to savour them, to acknowledge them, but do not dwell too long." Janette then stiffened as LaCroix entered. And when he merely asked to speak with her alone in the club and then left, Janette gave Natalie a comforting smile before leaving to go and meet LaCroix. Once in the club, Janette approached slowly, cautiously, wondering what the somewhat guarded expression meant, what he would tell her. "You are becoming attached to her, Janette." "I am merely--" LaCroix raised his hand, making it clear he would hear no protest against his statement. "What are you planning, LaCroix?" "To see how well she copes." "Copes with what? With killing? With--" "Everything. With what she is and those that she is no longer like." Janette looked away. "You don't agree?" She knew LaCroix was baiting her. "I think she should rest and have time to become accustomed to what she is. It is too soon." "It is not." "LaCroix--" "Give me one reason, Janette. Just one reason and I will consider waiting on this. Anything. A hint of guilt? A missed longing for what she was or a dislike for what she is or has done?" Again, Janette looked away. There was nothing. Even Natalie's slightly troubled and overwhelmed thoughts lacked guilt, merely being a moment's preoccupation. "She did well tonight, don't you agree?" "Yes," Janette simply answered, stopping short of elaborating upon seeing LaCroix' firm gaze. "How has she seemed?" "Fine," she told him. "No reason to postpone some...amusement, then?" Janette ignored the question, asking, "What did you want to speak to me about?" LaCroix smiled. "Just curiosity at your detour." "I stopped her, before she went in to see him." "I'm glad you saw reason and did not encourage her. But, then, it didn't take much to change her mind, did it?" His expression became even more pleased. "She understands much." Janette stiffened, seeing what LaCroix was trying to emphasise. He hadn't sensed any guilt or doubt on Natalie's part, even when she had gone to the precinct. It wasn't out of guilt, nor was it from any of the woman's thoughts or their effects, but she had gone there out of want. She had wanted to see Nick, and yet she controlled it, easily leaving despite never having to deal with the stronger desires she now felt toward everything. "She will be more than willing to continue tonight, yes?" "Yes," Janette softly replied, realising that LaCroix must sense that, so far, Natalie was very comfortable as a vampire. It merely strengthened his case for proceeding with his plans for the night. And she knew there was nothing she could say but further confirm LaCroix' words. Natalie was doing very well with her new nature-- that was clear. "Send her out to me." Nodding, Janette returned inside. LaCroix walked to the bar, raising his hand in refusal of Miklos' offer of a glass. He observed the mortals as they mingled both with one another and, unwittingly, a handful of vampires. When Natalie approached a few moments later, LaCroix kept his attention fixated solidly on the mortals. Once she had reached his side, he said, "Their sheer naivety...it's almost amusing." He turned toward Natalie, her attention now on the mortals as well. "No comment?" It was somewhat difficult to turn her attention away from the many heartbeats, but she did so. "I didn't realise how--" she randomly started, but quickly cut off. What would LaCroix care of that thought? He had said something about their naivety being amusing.... Of course it was different being on the other side, but the thought in itself didn't bother her. She turned back to watch the others, and she could see the vampires half-stalking their prey, their slight actions and expressions giving away their nature to her. As a mortal, while she might have been able to make a few guesses or inferences, she never would have seen much of what she did now. "It's...." "Yes?" "Stunning," Natalie said as she breathed out. "I had no idea how obvious, I mean, now I see so much more and they're, ah...." "So very, very naive?" Watching the humans, she saw that they were indeed clueless. And it really and truly was almost amusing. Natalie nodded, unable to verbalise her reply. She was agreeing with LaCroix, completely. Abruptly, LaCroix said, "The woman getting a drink at the bar, what is she? Do not think, just say. I want only your very first impression." Natalie turned. There were so many heartbeats in the room that she doubted she would be able to immediately tell who was mortal and who was a vampire unless they were rather close by. But, LaCroix had wanted her first impression. He just wanted her to guess on sight. The woman's very gothic attire--all black, pale make-up and clearly dyed-black hair made her guess, "Human." LaCroix then pointed out a pale, pink-haired man and a scantily dressed woman whose tan lines betrayed her, both of which Natalie correctly guessed as being a vampire and a mortal, respectively. Then, LaCroix pointed out a young woman at the back, trying far too hard to emulate and fake the elegantly gothic-dress of many of the others. "Human," she instantly said, the woman too far away to sense anything more about her nature. "Vampire. I doubt she'll last long...." LaCroix smirked, and then turned his attention to a couple dancing. "And them? Which is mortal, and which is not?" Natalie followed her gaze. The man was nicely dressed, although he was wearing all black and did seem to be lacking sun exposure...but he also didn't seem forcibly pale. The woman seemed normal, dressing like many of the other patrons. She watched them dance, holding each other close. The man pulled the woman nearer, so that their bodies touched as they danced, kissing her along the neck. "The woman's mortal, and--" "Look again." She did, and gasped as they rotated and she saw a quick flash of fold in the woman's eyes. "Appearances can be very deceiving. Now, this time carefully observe before answering." LaCroix then pointed out a half-dozen more individuals, and when Natalie guessed the four mortals and two vampires correctly, he was very pleased. Then, turning his attention back to the couple that had been dancing before, he started toward them. Natalie followed, curious as to what he was planning. She watched LaCroix walk right up to the vampire and simply tell her to leave. Her jaw loosened at the bluntness and the woman's quick compliance. LaCroix simply said, "Dance," and then left. Natalie was stunned at his sudden departure, faintly hearing him tell her to enjoy herself. When a very warm hand took hers, she snapped her gaze to the young man the vampiress had been dancing with mere moments before. His attention was now fully on her, and he seemed to have taken LaCroix' suggestion as an order. For several minutes, she wasn't sure what she should do. Let this man, this mortal who was several years younger than she, do as he wished? He seemed to be encouraging her to dance, even helping her. Had LaCroix said more to him that she had, perhaps, missed in the suddenness of the transition? Eventually, Natalie relaxed and danced with the other. She did, however, purposely keep as much distance between them as she could manage. For one, it felt wrong getting too close to him--perhaps because she hadn't even seen Nick since she had been brought across. For another, the closer they got the hungrier she became...and the more she wanted just a taste of his blood. Natalie flinched slightly as her fangs pierced her lower lip. She had to close her eyes, the taste of her own blood startling. Her thoughts of wanting him only increased; a desire that still felt both wrong and yet so very right. Forcing the feelings away, Natalie opened her eyes, still faintly golden, and looked again at the other. She nearly spoke, but stopped upon realising she could not dare verbalise her thoughts. LaCroix had told her to dance, and dance she would. She politely excused herself, and walked away. She caught a faint image of LaCroix watching her, but when she turned back to look at him, he was no longer there. She closed her eyes for a moment. LaCroix wanted her to mingle, to mix with the others. She was sure of it, although how she was sure, she didn't know. But he had wanted her to dance and enjoy herself, and he had vanished when she turned to him. He wanted her to stay in the club longer. And she did. Natalie walked around the club, mostly on the edges of the dance area. After several minutes, the mortal that LaCroix had taken her to earlier approached. Had LaCroix sent him back? Or had he come of his own accord? Whatever the case, she again danced with him, and then with another mortal that interrupted them. Again, she could not tell if LaCroix was manipulating the situation or not. Time passed, and it was becoming harder and harder for her to keep her expression calm and human-like. She was sure there was a seductive glint of desire in her eyes, and it was unwillingly becoming stronger. The man she was dancing with stared right at her, his expression somewhat odd, and she tried to keep her eyes averted, lest they change. She felt as if her gaze merely pulled him in closer. Natalie felt hands on her shoulders, and she immediately froze, closing her eyes. "I think that's enough for now. Come." She felt a slight tug backward where his hands rested, and then she sensed nothing as LaCroix released her and walked away. Opening her eyes, she found the man she had been dancing with just gazing blankly off behind her. She apologised, at which the mortal seemed to regain his sanity, now appearing somewhat frightened. She tore her eyes away from him and went to follow LaCroix. At the bar, LaCroix ordered two glasses of blood, stopping Miklos when he went to pour, telling him to use one of Janette's special bottles. Natalie arrived just as Miklos finished pouring a second glass of blood. He gave her a slight nod of acknowledgement before leaving for the other end of the counter. "Sit. Drink," LaCroix said. He watched Natalie sit down after a second. Remaining standing near the bar's counter, he carefully surveyed her motions as she sipped gradually from her glass. Taking a drink from his own glass, he suddenly asked, "Have you decided what to do regarding your job?" Natalie sat her glass down. Her job. She had barely given it a thought. "No. No, not really." "It is not a common profession among us. Medicine is often too...tempting for us." "Nick's been a doctor," Natalie immediately mentioned. "And you think he has neither been tempted nor acted on those temptations during his short stints as a so-called healer? Consider that you will not only be around a handful mortals, but around blood and nervous mortals, both of which will only incite your hunger. And also consider that Nicholas was centuries older then than you are now when he first played doctor." Natalie took a sip of the blood in her glass, and then stated, "You don't think I should return to work." "I think it could be unwise at the moment. Although, you do seem to have a good hold over your desires. The past several hours have proven that. It will be your choice." LaCroix stood, and taking his glass with him, went into Janette's apartment. Natalie sat there, somewhat stunned. How long had she been dancing? Had it truly been hours? Hours that she fought her wants, hours that she had been faintly hungry...hours since her fangs had sliced into her lip. She took a large drink from her glass. LaCroix seemed indifferent on what she should do. Yes, he perhaps thought it somewhat risky to continue working, and she could see why, but he also seemed to think she would be able to handle it. His comments didn't help at all, merely making the choice that much harder. Would she or would she not return to work? Could she? And if she didn't, what then? *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Done with work, Nick drove to the Raven and entered Janette's apartment. In an instant, LaCroix stopped him, stepping in his way. "Go home, Nicholas." "I want to see her." "She is sleeping." Nick went to step past the other, saying, "LaCroix, I--" LaCroix prevented the other from passing, and then backed Nick up toward the door. "She is currently sleeping and she should remain so. She has had a long night." Seeing the other hesitated, he told Nick, "She will be fine, Nicholas. However, I do think it would be best if you were not here. Not now, and not over the next several days." "Why, LaCroix?" LaCroix remained both silent and in place. Janette stepped closer, wanting to intervene, but knowing she should not. Aware LaCroix would not let him argue, Nick looked to Janette. "Janette, watch over her, please." Janette smiled, the only answer she could give without verbally favouring either Nick or LaCroix. Not that she would be able to protect Natalie in anyway if LaCroix decided, for whatever reason, that this would end. After all, when LaCroix wanted something, he got it. However, she knew that even her slight nod put Nick's thoughts at ease. "I suggest you leave before the sun comes up. If you delay, do not expect me to allow you to remain here." LaCroix cast a glance to Janette, seeing that she was about to protest. After exchanging a glare with LaCroix, Nick looked away, closing his eyes. He hated this. "Fine," he hissed, and then turned back toward LaCroix for a moment before spinning and leaving, angry that he was blocked from seeing Natalie. "You could have let him see her, LaCroix. You could have permitted him to look in on her before he left." "And 'accidentally' wake her? No. Nicholas has all eternity to visit her. He can wait a few days, especially after his stunt earlier today." Frailty - (06/13) Natalie woke that night much as she had before--somewhat abruptly, more or less fully alert, and very much rested. She also noticed she didn't wake up as often throughout the day as she used to. Was this among the benefits of being a vampire? Deeper and more productive sleep? She got out of bed, still in the clothes she had worn the night before. And then, suddenly, her eyes caught on some clothes folded on a chair. She walked toward them, and then froze as someone knocked on the door and LaCroix entered. "Good," LaCroix commented, seeing that she found the clothes. "I thought you might like some fresh clothes." He moved toward the door, and then added, "I believe Janette also sent Miklos to get some clothes from your apartment, if you would prefer to wait for those." LaCroix then left, pulling the door shut. Once she was again alone, Natalie picked up the shirt at the top of the pile. It was simple--a long-sleeved, navy blue v-necked shirt that looked like it would be rather form-fitting. That last quality she wasn't sure she liked, but then she would fit in a bit more at the Raven wearing it over most of her own clothes. The other clothes on the chair were another shirt, this one a deep wine, a pair of jet- black jeans, and a long skirt. Natalie closed her eyes, wondering if she should look to see what had been brought from her place. And then, figuring it might be interesting to wear something very different from her regular clothes, she threw whatever reserve she had away and decided to take the navy shirt and jeans with her when she went to take a shower. Twenty minutes later, she had dressed and immediately felt slightly uncomfortable. The clothes seemed to fit, but they were snugger and closer-fitting than she was accustomed to. After glancing once more down at the clothes, Natalie went to the door and approached Janette and LaCroix. When Janette gave her an approving glance and LaCroix seemed pleased, Natalie felt a bit self-conscious. Only her hunger made her stay instead of returning to her room and changing into something else. LaCroix slowly walked up to Natalie, and then held out a lightweight black jacket. "Take it." "I--" She cut off, his stern expression telling her not to argue. Then, she took the jacket from him and slipped it on. "Follow me." Natalie followed LaCroix out of the apartment and through the club to the back entrance. As soon as she stepped outside, LaCroix vanished into the sky, leaving her no choice but to do the same. Seconds later and several blocks away, LaCroix landed on a rooftop. He only had to wait seconds before Natalie joined him. "What are we--" "Silence. Now, again. Follow me." Natalie closed her eyes as LaCroix flew past her, her jacket pulling slightly as he nearly brushed against her. Then, she turned and again followed. After several more of the short jumps, Natalie felt irritated. How long were they going to do this? When would they return to the Raven, to Janette's? When would she get to do something about her growing hunger? Sensing Natalie's tiredness at the repetitive actions, LaCroix next flew down to street level, just out of sight of a street filled with mortals. He gave a short glance to Natalie once she arrived, and then headed in among the mortals. Natalie hesitated. LaCroix was testing her. That's what he was doing. All of this...it was testing how far he could push her. And he was certainly doing just that. When LaCroix vanished from her direct line of sight, Natalie knew she could wait no longer to follow. For well over an hour, LaCroix continued the taunting of Natalie's hunger. He ensured that her energy would rapidly wane either through flying or by keeping her on edge around the mortals. On one of their rather longer jaunts through a group of mortals, he sensed her hesitate progressively more as she walked several paces behind him. Natalie's thoughts were mixed. She knew she was supposed to keep up with LaCroix, but she was so very hungry and there were so many mortals around them. She stopped. LaCroix halted, turning back toward Natalie only to see that her attention had clearly strayed. She slowly approached the small group of mortals, her control finally slipping. He walked back to her, reaching out one hand to her shoulder, stopping her mid-step. Suddenly, Natalie realised she had wandered, her eyes snapping to LaCroix. "Come," LaCroix said, stepping back into a dark section of the street. Natalie approached him, and once in shadow, LaCroix flew back to the Raven with her close behind. Back at Janette's, LaCroix immediately ordered Janette out. Once they were alone, he retrieved two glasses and a half-full bottle of blood. He filled one full for himself, and then he poured a couple sips worth into the second. The first he pulled off to the side, and the second he picked up and handed to Natalie, whose attention was on the other, fuller, glass. "Take it. And drink it very slowly." Natalie took the glass and did as told. The small amount of blood lasted only a few minutes, and did very little to calm her hunger. She wanted more, and LaCroix had more--he had a full glass that he hadn't even touched, plus whatever remained in the bottle. LaCroix saw her eyeing his glass, and he took a sip. When Natalie stepped toward him, he said, simply, "No. You must learn to remain hungry, but in control." Closing her eyes to prevent them flashing gold in front of LaCroix, Natalie held back her frustration. LaCroix was right on this, somehow. But this was so very hard.... "Whether or not you plan to stay at work, you will have to return for at least a few days. It would be best if you did not simply vanish, yes?" Natalie nodded. "And if I do stay, I will have more problems than just being around...ah, others." "Mortals. They are mortals. Or humans. Or--" "Prey?" Natalie calmly interjected. "Yes." LaCroix smiled slightly at the almost light tone of her answer, and then somewhat harshly told her, "It would do well if you do not group yourself as one of them or with them in any way." Natalie pulled back slightly at the short lecture. "However, yes, you are correct that you will be challenged when you return to work, no matter what I have you confront prior to that. And it must be soon. Within the week, as mortals do not generally remain 'sick' for long. You will need to decide when to return, and if you will remain." In response, Natalie nodded. Then her eyes again wandered to LaCroix' glass as he drank from it. LaCroix smirked and told her, "Bring your glass over." She did so, and he again put a small amount of blood in the glass. Even as she stared at him, waiting for more, LaCroix replaced the cork and put the bottle to the side. "That's all for now. You can have more in the morning." Natalie pursed her lips, but took the nearly empty glass and went to sit across the room. Morning. That wasn't too far away, really.... *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. The following night, Natalie woke and dressed in the wine-coloured shirt and black skirt she hadn't worn the night before. She then went out to where LaCroix and Janette sat, each holding a half-drank glass of blood. LaCroix gestured for her to go and sit on the couch, and she did so, seeing a glass of blood waiting for her. LaCroix had been of his word, both the previous morning--as he had made sure she had plenty to drink as dawn arrived and passed, and he had also said he would not keep her from feeding the next night. Once Natalie had sat down and picked up the glass, LaCroix asked, "Have you decided when to return?" "Tomorrow night," Natalie answered. Then, a moment later, she added, "I'm still considering what to do after that, though." LaCroix didn't comment, merely continued to sip from his glass until it was empty. When LaCroix suddenly stood, Natalie jumped slightly. Even Janette seemed surprised at the action. "You will spend the night here," he told Natalie. Then, he turned to Janette. "Watch her, see that she does well alone. I will not return in the morning." Natalie's lips parted. Seeing this, LaCroix told her, "I will meet you at your work tomorrow night." Before either could comment, he left the two women alone and somewhat stunned. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Leaving the Raven for work the next night, Natalie again wore something that had been chosen for her. While LaCroix said he wouldn't be at the Raven that day, he had apparently dropped more clothes off for her, probably believing that she had approved of his previous choices. Truthfully, she wasn't sure what to think. But for some reason, she had picked something from those clothes rather than something of her own. She did, however, wear one of her own coats when she headed in to work. Entering the building, most of those she passed greeted her, all somehow asking her if she felt better. By the time she reached the actual morgue, Natalie was relieved to be free of the prodding. Why did they have to ask? Because, as far as they knew, she had been sick. And in a way, she had been, so it didn't really bother her too much. But there was something about the assumption that she was unwell that...unnerved her. Was she noticeably paler to them? She didn't notice it herself, but she did know her perceptions had changed. Perhaps it was just some instinctual thought based on that she was a vampire and now somehow better? That as she no longer had the same susceptibility to sickness that they had no right to assume she did. Natalie checked to see what she had missed while she was gone, only to find nothing. No new patients. Nothing. It had apparently been a very quiet few days. Straightening some papers, Natalie felt something behind her. It was a familiar tug at her mind, nothing more. She slowly stopped what she was doing and turned to face LaCroix. "You sensed me." "Yes." "I will not be staying," LaCroix stated, sensing her curiosity at why he was there. "However, know that I will come if needed," LaCroix paused, glancing about the room with a hint of dislike. "Preferably only if it is urgent." LaCroix turned to leave. "How will you know?" He glanced back. "I will know. Just focus on wanting me here, and I will come." He then departed. Much like the previous night when LaCroix had abruptly left the Raven, Natalie found herself stunned by his departure. She remained in place for several moments, reflecting over the mere minute LaCroix had been there. How much did he sense from her? If he could know.... She shook off the thoughts, not wanting to dwell too long on what LaCroix was or was not doing, and continued to flip through the pile of papers as she started work. Out in the hall, LaCroix waited until Natalie had resumed her previous tasks. Curious, was she? Yes. Curious, but she was also very accepting. He merely smiled and left the building. Natalie would do just fine tonight. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Janette watched Nick for several minutes as he worked, before he finally noticed her. When he met her eyes, she could see his frustration, his anger at LaCroix shutting him off from Natalie. And then he turned back to his work, not getting up. She then walked over to Nick's desk, a hand tracing along his arm. "You don't want to talk to me, hmm?" Nick pulled away. "No, you don't. Your partner seems to be missing...." "He's around. What do you want?" Janette raised her eyebrows at the harsh question, pulling her hand back. "I thought you might want an update on Natalie." "She came back to work tonight. I know that," he told her, tersely. "You don't approve." Nick turned to look back at Janette. "I don't approve of LaCroix--" "He is doing what he can to help her, Nicolas!" she hissed, her voice a whisper. Then, calmer but still quiet, she told him, "I also do not fully agree with his insistence that you keep your distance, but even you should be able to see his reasons." Nick turned back to the file sitting in front of him. Why did Janette have to taunt him? "I take it that means his 'insistence' is still in effect?" he snapped, turning in his chair, his eyes staring coldly at Janette. She stiffened slightly and told him, "It was only for a few days." Nick closed his eyes, and hearing Janette take a step away to leave, he asked, "How is she?" Janette stopped and turned back to Nick. "She is adapting well." "According to whom?" She initially remained silent, not wanting to worsen Nick's mood. Eventually, Janette simply told him, "You will see." When she spied Nick's partner approaching, she smiled. And then, after reaching her hand out to his face and brushing her fingers against his chin, Janette left. "Was that Janette?" Schanke asked, approaching. Nick looked to his partner. Schanke knew it had been Janette. "What did she want?" "Nothing." Nick tried to get back to work. "Nothing doesn't get you tense. It doesn't have anything to do with Natalie, does it?" "No, it doesn't. And Natalie's fine." "She's back at work, isn't she?" Schanke asked. And after Nick nodded, he asked, "You gone over tonight?" Nick tensed and looked away. "No. No, I haven't. Like I said, she's fine." "If you want, we could--" "Schanke..." Nick started, then paused, trying to think of a reason not to go over. "You know, if we just up and vanish Cohen's--" "Going to either murder us or stick us in lock-up till we get some work done. Yeah, I know. Sorry about that, Nick." Schanke went and sat down, pulling out a form he had just barely started filling in. "She wants the Pierce report by morning, right? Is that tonight, or tomorrow night she wants it...." Nick relaxed as Schanke dropped the other topic. It wasn't that he didn't want to go see Natalie, but he did see LaCroix' reasons. And the Pierce report was due that morning, and he didn't know about Schanke, but he had been so distracted the last several days that he was nowhere near ready to hand anything in. Even as Nick tried to focus on his work, he kept wondering how Natalie was really doing. Janette had said she was adapting well, but that could mean almost anything. And, besides, what if it was Natalie that wanted him away and not LaCroix? He didn't want to risk pushing her away, possibly going against her wishes. He couldn't, and he wouldn't. Frailty - (07/13) Two nights later, Nick and Schanke pulled up to an already busy crime scene along the Don River. Approaching, they asked an officer where the medical examiner was. The officer pointed down by the bank, telling them, "Dr. Lambert just got here a few minutes ago. She's heading down to the body now." Nick thanked the officer and they headed in the direction he had indicated. As soon as Natalie came into view, she turned toward them. She seemed different, more so than just her lack of a pulse. It took him a second to realise that her clothes were different, too. And her hair had been put up with what he was sure was one of Janette's hairpins. "Natalie?" "Yep, that's me. Unless someone's sent in papers to have my name changed?" Nick froze at that, quickly reminding himself that she was just joking. Natalie wouldn't have done that, nor did he think LaCroix would have, not yet. After all, she was here, working, wasn't she? Natalie glanced to Nick, trying to give him an unobtrusive but reassuring smile, even though she didn't feel up to it. Nick hadn't yet come to see her, and she wasn't sure what that meant. And he seemed hesitant to even talk to her now. Then, she asked, "You two just get here?" "Yeah," Schanke said. "You feeling better, Nat?" "Ah, yeah, I suppose you could say that," she answered, giving a sideways glance to Nick, who still seemed quieter than usual. She then led the way down to the body. The victim, a woman, lay on the ground, and Natalie instantly recognised her as the woman she had killed. The bite wounds she had inflicted were not visible, however. LaCroix must have hidden the wounds...she really hadn't thought about what had happened after she killed her. Of course, the woman would have had to be disposed of somehow and the wounds covered up to avoid casting suspicion of a non- human killer. But, even worse than having killed her were the sheer thoughts and feelings of both seeing the victim and being surrounded by so many rapid pulses. Natalie slowed her approach, but tried to keep her focus solely on the crime scene and solely on the victim. She could do this. She had to. She pulled out a clipboard an officer had handed to her when she had arrived, and stated, "By her driver's license, victim is one Emily Martin. She is a 26-year-old white female with a deep laceration on the right side of her neck." Natalie paused, then continued, "I won't know for sure until I do an autopsy, but she likely died from blood loss, four to five days ago, and was likely dumped into the river. A couple of teenagers found her washed up on the bank earlier tonight. She had probably been there a couple days before she was found." Nick barely listened to Natalie's overview. It was more professional than usual, and Natalie was far more tense than she should be. She seemed to be avoiding looking directly at the woman and looked particularly pale, even for a vampire. However, it was also her first crime scene as a vampire, entirely new territory for Natalie, and so the reaction was, he supposed, normal. "Nick?" Nick looked up to Natalie, confused. She had stopped talking, and looked concerned...regarding him. What had he missed? Something, obviously, as Schanke was a few steps away, looking at him oddly and apparently waiting for him. "Ah, yeah. What did I miss?" "I said that Lang's got the two kids that found her over there," she said, nodding her head to the side. "He figured you two would like to talk to them, before they're taken back to the precinct for statements?" "You coming?" Schanke asked, taking a step back. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm coming," Nick answered, and started toward his partner after glancing back to Natalie. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Later, as Natalie prepared to leave, Nick caught her alone and walked over to her, calling, "Natalie?" She turned slowly to face Nick, but didn't answer. What would Nick say to her? Did he somehow know? Did he perhaps recognise that the woman had been killed by a vampire? Did he suspect she had killed her? Nick continued closer, and then asked, "How are you?" "Okay." "Are you...handling everything alright?" "Yeah, it's fine," Natalie quickly stated, not quite meeting Nick's eyes. She felt oddly uncomfortable talking to Nick alone. "Nat, I know what you were going through around the body." Nick watched as Natalie looked completely away. "Natalie?" "It doesn't get any easier, does it? Mainly being around this many people, and I'm sure if there was blood, it'd be even worse." "No, not really. You'll become more accustomed to it, but it doesn't get easier. And yes, even a small amount of blood is very tempting, especially if the victim hasn't been dead long. It's probably a good thing there isn't much blood. Better to ease into this." Natalie silently nodded. Nick had no idea that she had killed the woman. Then, glancing to her watch, she said, "Ah, I should probably head back, and I think Schanke said he was looking for you a few minutes ago. He said something about going back to the precinct." "Yeah, he's waiting in the Caddy. I told him that I wanted to ask you something before we left." Nick shifted from one foot to another, hesitating. "And Nat? Know that I'll help in any way I can, okay?" Again, Natalie nodded and managed a slight smile, and she watched as he started back to his car. She was thankful for Nick's mention of that, but she was starting to fear what Nick would say. He didn't seem to know what, exactly, had happened. Granted, she had asked that Janette not mention anything specific about the night LaCroix brought over, nor anything about when she had killed. And Janette had apparently done as asked. She had been secretly glad when Nick had stayed away for the first few days. But now, she was worried. Janette hadn't said much about Nick's absence. But, when asked if Nick had been there when LaCroix brought her across, she had told her that Nick had tried to stop LaCroix. Janette had said it was only instinct, that he just reacted to what he saw, but.... Nick didn't really want her to be a vampire, she didn't think. Not under any circumstances. No wonder he hadn't come to see her and no wonder he was acting strange tonight. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Merely moments after arriving back at the morgue, Natalie started upon realising LaCroix had come. "You are preoccupied." "A little." "The woman. She was found, wasn't she?" "Yes," Natalie told him. "She...washed up on the bank of the river." "It was not intended." "It?" "This was not done on purpose. It is not a test." "I figured that." "Really?" LaCroix asked, truly interested in an answer. "Yes," she answered. Then, she explained, "It didn't feel like a test." "I know this is bothering you." "Yes," Natalie answered, not lying. "Is it because you were reminded that you ended a life?" Natalie looked away. "No. No, it's not that." She closed her eyes, recalling how she had felt earlier, when Nick had talked to her. Turning back to LaCroix, she told him, "I haven't really thought much about that." LaCroix studied Natalie carefully. But she didn't seem to be lying. Then, although already suspecting the answer, he asked, "Is it Nicholas?" Tensing, Natalie was stunned that LaCroix had guessed so easily. Or maybe she wasn't. "I'm just surprised he hasn't come by. He seems uncomfortable around me." "I told him that I would not allow him to see you for a few days." Natalie involuntarily took a step back, the statement hitting her hard. "You told him...." "He wanted to be there when you woke. I thought it would be best if he were not, considering my plans." Still stunned, Natalie thought the explanation over. LaCroix was right to think Nick wouldn't be pleased at his actions. Nick didn't even know she had killed. She could barely imagine Nick's reaction if he had known. He certainly wouldn't have stayed away this long. And if Nick had tried to prevent LaCroix from bringing her over, as Janette had said, perhaps there was a reason. But it had been well over a week. LaCroix abruptly sensed something in the hall, and turned toward the door. It was Janette, listening in. A second later, however, Janette had left, undoubtedly aware she had been spotted. "LaCroix?" He turned back to Natalie, who had a hint of dislike for him that he had seen many times from Nicholas. She thought he had meddled too much. Without further words, LaCroix left. Natalie stood there, silently, for several minutes before returning to her work. Nick hadn't stayed away of his own will. He had wanted to be there. But it was almost a week since she had been brought across. Surely, LaCroix wouldn't have a problem with Nick seeing her now, would he? But maybe Nick was not told how long to stay away? *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Nearly a week later, Nick caught a glimpse of Janette at the precinct during his shift. He stood and walked over to her, demanding, "What are you doing here?" Janette ignored Nick's harsh tone. "You haven't come by to see me, nor LaCroix. Not even Natalie." Nick stiffened, pulling Janette down the hall and to a conference room. Even as Janette started to protest, Nick opened the door. The room's occupants were rather startled, and Nick quickly apologised for the interruption and shut the door. He then led Janette outside. Once they were alone, Janette immediately teased, "Are you feeding enough, or has that cow's blood finally--" "Janette, just--" She went rigid. "Yes, of course. Why I am here...why you haven't visited...." "I haven't come by because I'm not sure I'm welcome. Natalie seemed distant when I talked to her." "Natalie didn't know LaCroix ordered you to stay away. She thought you were staying away on your own." "You didn't say anything to her about it?" "I...thought LaCroix had told her. She made no attempt to visit you, so I assumed...." Janette could see that Nick didn't truly believe her. "And I thought that whether or not she knew, it would be better if she not dwell on you not being there. Since she found out, she's been very preoccupied with you. Wondering what you think, wondering...." "So have I." Nick turned away. "I am sure it would be fine if you visited." "Janette--" "Other than the first few days, LaCroix has said nothing to me about making sure you don't come by. And he has said nothing about making sure she does not visit you." "It's not LaCroix that's stopping me. Natalie...she was uncomfortable around me. And she was different, more than just no longer mortal." "She is uncertain what you think about what has happened." "Because I wouldn't bring her across or because I don't want to be a vampire?" "Possibly both. I think she would like to see you, whatever the case. And the longer you wait, the harder it will be." Nick averted his eyes. He knew it would be harder, for both of them. "How is she? Truly?" "Well. Genuinely well." "And LaCroix?" "He is pleased that he did not make a mistake," Janette told him, her voice softer. Nick snapped his gaze back to Janette. "He didn't want to bring her over?" Janette shook her head. "He was hesitant. I do not blame you for pushing him away. For a moment, I wasn't sure if he was going to bring her over or kill her. He feared she would be more of a burden than anything else." "Natalie...." "She is not like you, Nicolas. But neither is she like LaCroix, or even myself." Janette paused, and then prodded, "You will see her, yes?" Again, Nick didn't meet Janette's eyes. He wanted to, but did Natalie want him to? Janette stepped closer. Touching her fingers to Nick's cheek, she steadied his gaze, turning it more toward her. She kissed him on the lips, deeply, but he didn't respond as he usually did. He pulled away from her, even as she tried to keep him close. "Nicolas..." Nick forcibly removed Janette's hands from him. He kissed the back of one hand, sincerely telling her, "I'll think about it." Frailty - (08/13) LaCroix walked around Natalie, stopping behind her. He glanced to the young mid-twenties mortal male he had brought with him, and then focused on Natalie, who seemed nervous. "Don't worry, he'll leave here unharmed." Then, smiling, he added, "Or at least he should." Inching backward, away from the dazed mortal, Natalie ran right into LaCroix. LaCroix held her steady with his hands. "Show him what you are." Natalie hesitated. Even though LaCroix still appeared to have some control over the man's will, she feared he would only panic if she did as told. How could he not? And if he panicked, what would she do? What did LaCroix expect and want her to do? "Change. Now!" LaCroix commanded, growing impatient. She apprehensively did as asked, more a reaction from the slight yet rough shove forward and LaCroix' harsh words than obedience. Her vision went amber, and she could feel the tips of her fangs. The man stepped back, and Natalie instinctively focused on keeping him in place. "No," she merely said, and the man froze solid. "Excellent." Natalie swallowed. Had she just overridden someone else's will? She hadn't even tried, it had just...happened. It was so very easy; no wonder Nick found it a hard habit to break. "Now," LaCroix began, aware Natalie would neither be expecting nor wanting her next task. "Touch him." "W-what?" "Tease him, arouse him if you can." LaCroix pulled her back slightly, telling her, "But do not kill him and do not take his blood." When Natalie made no move forward and only pressed back into his hold, LaCroix released her shoulders and stepped around Natalie. He walked slowly up to the young man, and then moved to his side, running his fingers along the man's neck. Stopping behind the mortal, whose eyes had closed at his action, LaCroix then looked straight at Natalie. "Now, that doesn't look so hard, does it?" "LaCroix, I don't know if I--" LaCroix practically flew back over to Natalie, stopping behind her. He took her right hand and pulled it up with his. He then took his other hand, and pressed against Natalie's back, guiding her forward. Leaning close to her ear, he whispered, "Just relax." He took her hand and raised it to the man's face. Natalie tried pulling away from the warm skin, but LaCroix held her hand in place. He pushed her ever nearer toward the mortal, right into him. He turned to look at her, their eyes locking. The proximity involuntarily overcame her desire to flee, and when LaCroix backed away, she remained. "Kiss him. But remember what I told you." Physically unable to refuse, Natalie kissed the mortal lightly on the lips. But it quickly deepened, and she felt his hands around her waist, small sections of his skin touching hers. When the man kissed her neck, she felt an overwhelming urge to kill him. But she shouldn't, was specifically told not to, and so her muscles froze, letting him continue to kiss her along her neck and shoulder. Seeing Natalie struggling between her desire and his order, LaCroix stepped behind the mortal and pulled his head back, exposing the man's neck to Natalie. "Remember that you are the one in control. Not him." Still holding the mortal's head back, LaCroix brushed his fingers from the man's chin to his collarbone. "He is susceptible to fear. You have the strength to Hearing the quicker pulse, Natalie looked to LaCroix. She didn't have to ask what he wanted her to do. If he didn't want her to kill this mortal or take his blood.... She leaned forward and her hands took the place of LaCroix'. Her lips followed where LaCroix had just passed his fingers, and she pushed the man back. Soon, she had the mortal pinned against a wall, a hint of fright just flickering behind his eyes. Aware that Natalie was not going to be able to wait any longer, LaCroix flew forward. Just as Natalie prepared to strike and feed from the mortal, he pulled her back and held his wrist before her. She took his blood without hesitation, and he held her back against him. When Natalie showed no signs of stopping, he told her, "That's plenty." He waited, and then slightly harsher told her, again, "You've had more than enough, Natalie." The urging did nothing to stop her, and after several more seconds, LaCroix forcefully pulled his wrist free. Natalie stood, stunned, for a moment. She had felt so much in LaCroix' blood that she was having trouble focusing. Since she had gone to Janette and first met LaCroix, he had been almost kind to her. But in his blood she felt his possessiveness toward his children, particularly Nick and to a lesser extent Janette. She hadn't sensed anything regarding his opinion on her. LaCroix was just as cruel and dangerous--to mortal or vampire--as Nick had hinted at, a side that he had so far kept from her. Meeting Natalie's gaze, LaCroix could see her fear of him. In addition, he could sense that at present she wanted as far away from him as possible. She had taken far more blood than was necessary, and LaCroix first forced his focus to the mortal, whose frightened heartbeat enticed his hunger. He quickly wiped the man's thoughts of what had happened, and sent him away. Then, with one more silent glance toward Natalie, LaCroix left. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. That morning, Janette tiptoed around Natalie's stunned behaviour until several hours past dawn. She approached where Natalie sat on the couch, her eyes drifting to the untouched glass of blood on the table. Natalie still hadn't fed since she had returned from the club earlier that night. Natalie glanced up at Janette, but only for a second. "You should sleep." "I...can't. Not right now." "What happened tonight, with LaCroix." Natalie paused, but told Janette what had happened. She told her what LaCroix had had her do, and then what she had felt in LaCroix' blood. And, finally, how LaCroix had just left after that and hadn't said anything to her. Janette sat down next to Natalie, picking the glass up off the table and handing it to Natalie. "Drink it. It will help you focus on something other than LaCroix." Natalie nodded slightly, and did as told. Janette was right, the blood did help a little. Even though it had already been several hours since she had tasted LaCroix' blood, the human blood made the earlier events faintly fade and become less all-absorbing. Once Natalie's glass was empty, Janette told her, "Take great care around LaCroix." "So what I saw, what I felt--" "Say nothing of it to LaCroix," Janette said, cutting the other off. "And yes, LaCroix can be very cruel, something you have yet to witness." Natalie looked away, and wanting a change of topic, mentioned, "I should probably head back to my apartment. I mean, I haven't been there since...." Natalie stopped, realising she hadn't even thought about Sydney. "And my cat, Sydney, he's probably--" "Nicolas checked on him for the first couple of days. When you remained here, I believe he said he took Sydney to your cat-sitter." Natalie was stunned. She didn't know Nick had been to her apartment, let alone had taken Sydney to one of her neighbours. She hadn't even been back to her apartment, not for anything. Someone had gone and gotten some of her clothes and personal items, but other than the necessities, she had mostly worn the clothes LaCroix had gotten for her. "You may stay here as long as you wish. It might be...easier than returning to your apartment." Prepared to object, Natalie stopped herself, realising Janette was right. It would be easier, given that at her apartment mortals would surround her on all sides. The Raven, if nothing else, was rather quiet during the day. It was probably also safer for others if she remained here. "Yeah, probably," Natalie said. "If you would like, I can have Miklos help with your apartment? Either packing things up if you plan to move or stay here, or help with making the windows more...vampire friendly?" Natalie spun her attention to Janette. She honestly had no idea what she wanted to do yet. She still wasn't entirely sure about returning to work, although it seemed to be working well. "If and when you decide what you plan to do regarding your apartment. Until then, you will, of course, remain here." Absently, Natalie nodded. Janette didn't seem like she would hear otherwise on where she would stay, and truthfully, here seemed to be the best place. She doubted LaCroix would much like to stay with him, and Nick...well, they hadn't even spoken much lately, had they? Janette stood, and left for her room to sleep. Natalie watched Janette leave, and knew she should go as well. But it would be difficult. Her thoughts were still on what she had felt from LaCroix' blood, Janette's change of subject having been little more than a slight distraction. Frailty - (09/13) Nick slowly entered the morgue, but it was clear that she knew he was there when she paused in her actions for a second. "Natalie?" Natalie again paused, but like when Nick had entered, she quickly returned to working on her current autopsy. Why did Nick have to show up now, when she was doing this? It was bad enough to have a corpse lying in front of her, but with Nick there, too? Somewhat coldly, she greeted him, and then returned her full focus to her work. Nick stepped closer, Natalie's hostility clear to him. He knew why, but there was nothing he could do to change it now. "LaCroix hasn't spoken to me since he--" Shutting off the tape recorder, she half-snapped, "So, what, you wait two weeks before doing anything? Janette said that he had told you it would only be a few days." "Not explicitly. And LaCroix has a way of changing things to fit with what he wants. I wasn't going to cross him." "You could have tried." "So could you," Nick replied. Then, he explained, "You...you seemed to be avoiding me. I felt that you didn't really want to talk to me before. Janette said you were doing 'well', and I know that you're disappointed that I wasn't the one to bring you across. I didn't know how far that disappointment went. I'm sorry, but I didn't know." He nearly stopped there, but then added, "I kept wondering if, perhaps, you had asked LaCroix to...." He stopped speaking upon seeing Natalie look away. Natalie felt tense. Nick was right in that she could have also gone to see him. She knew where he lived and she knew his alarm code. She could have visited any time, and she doubted LaCroix could have done much to stop her--not until she was already at Nick's. And it didn't help that the thought to ask LaCroix to tell Nick to stay away had crossed her thoughts. Could she really blame Nick for hesitating? Nick watched as Natalie completely stopped her work. Then, he carefully prodded, "What do you think of it?" "Of being a vampire?" Nick nodded, and then saw Natalie go very quiet. "It's complicated." "Yes." "And it seems to have made our relationship more complicated as well." Natalie hesitated before answering. In a way, things were now simpler, but then, where was the possibly of her becoming a vampire before all of this? It had never been there. This reality had never been an option. Finally, she half-whispered, "Yes, it has." "Without choice." At that, Natalie didn't even answer. After all, she might not have had much of a choice, but she did get to choose between death and being a vampire. That was a choice she had made. "I can't imagine.... I at least had a choice. I may not have realised the full implications of that choice, may not have known exactly what was going to happen, but it was made clear enough to me that I knew before I was brought over. I had the choice of a mortal life, or an immortal one. Your mortal life was taken from you with no warning." This time, Natalie couldn't object. Nick was right in that her mortal life had been taken from her without warning, without choice. She had had that taken away first, and then given another choice. Nick had at least been given the choice while still mortal. She nodded, relaxing somewhat and stating, "It was sudden." "Yes." "It...it does have it's pluses, though." She did her best to smile. "I now understand you more. I think I understand a little about your, ah, attraction to LaCroix and Janette, and that it is part of what you are rather than who you are." "You believe that, then?" "That there's a...connection of some kind?" she asked. Receiving a nod, she told him, "Yes. I...sense LaCroix when he's around. It's different and stronger than when I'm around you or Janette, and it's closer, more familiar." "It...may fade some." Nick looked away, and then told her, "Physical distance causes the most change. You won't feel LaCroix when you're in a different city. I've also noticed that drinking cow's blood decreases it some." "But LaCroix can still sense us, can't he?" Nick didn't turn back to Natalie. He didn't want to admit that she was right. For so long, he had tried to believe otherwise, believe that his connection with LaCroix depended on his belief that it existed. But LaCroix did, always, find him. "Nick?" He looked to her. "Yes, I think so." He could almost see her curiosity. "I've tried running from him in the past, but it has never been long before LaCroix has shown up. He senses more than just the presence of his children. Sometimes, I'm sure he can sense my thoughts." Natalie was stunned, almost in awe that Nick would continue his search for a cure, undoubtedly against LaCroix' wishes...even knowing that LaCroix would find him. She remembered how torn Nick was in letting her help him when they first met, how hesitant he was. Had his excuses then been nothing more than a way to prevent her from getting hurt? And that's when it hit her--Nick's cure. She now knew more about being a vampire than Nick had ever managed to convey to her, and she didn't have to poke him into letting her test him.... "Nat?" Nick called, taking a step closer when she seemed to become lost in thought. "You sensed me tonight, didn't you? And before." The question cut Natalie's thoughts off, and after a few seconds, she nodded. A few seconds more, and her attention started to stray back to the autopsy she had been doing, the scent of blood pulling her away from Nick.... Noticing that Natalie's focus had turned away from him, he mentioned, "I...did actually go by your apartment a few times." Natalie turned back to Nick, again nodding. "Yeah, Janette told me. She said you took Sydney to my neighbour's." She then pursed her lips and told Nick, "I think I'm going to stay at the Raven. Janette said it would be fine, and...I haven't even been back to my place." "And your apartment?" "I think I'm going to move out. I might put a few things in storage, but most of my furniture...I mean, I won't really need nor want to drag it around, will I? It just seems right to stay with Janette. And so I won't really need the apartment...." "Has Janette or LaCroix suggest--" "No. No, this is what I want, Nick. Yes, Janette said I could stay at the Raven as long as I'd like, but this is my choice. And I really do feel that it is somehow what I should do right now." Nick simply nodded, fully aware that it would probably be quieter for Natalie at Janette's than in her apartment building. "If you'd like help moving out, just let me know." "Thanks," Natalie spoke, managing a smile. Then, Natalie turned back to the body. She was getting so very, very hungry. If Nick hadn't come by, she would have already gone to lunch.... "Put some gloves on," she abruptly ordered. "Nat...." "Nick, please...just for a moment so I can go to lunch. It won't take long, I promise." Nick hesitated, but he could see her hunger. And then he turned and pulled a couple gloves out of a box and put them on. Waiting for Nick, Natalie rewound the tape until before he arrived. And when Nick approached, she hit record and went back to work. When Natalie practically dropped a lung into his hands, Nick looked away, holding the offending organ as far away as possible and completely forgetting what Natalie was having him do. "Nick, just stick it on the scale and say 'left lung' and read off the weight." Nick did as told, and soon they had both lungs, the heart, stomach, and liver weighed. Schanke pushed the door open just as Nick was taking the liver off the scale. "Wow, Nick assisting with an autopsy.... Now, I figured I'd find you here, but...." "Stunning, isn't it?" Natalie said, and then hit stop on the tape recorder again. "Yeah, and I hate to take away your new lab assistant, Natalie, but Cohen wants Nick back." Nick nodded. "I'll see you back at the precinct," Schanke said, and then left. Nick gave Natalie an apologetic and relieved glance, and after rinsing off the gloves, he removed them and washed his hands. Then, instead of leaving, he walked over to Natalie and kissed her on the lips. Natalie fought hard against wrapping her arms around Nick, even as she did all she could to deepen the kiss. And deepen, it did. Not only could she feel the sharp edges of her own fangs, which had descended the instant he had kissed her, but she could feel Nick's as well. When Nick pulled back, she tilted her head up, instinctively moving closer to his neck...and then closed her eyes, fighting back her wants as Nick left. She wanted more. She needed.... She craved Nick's blood more than anything else, even now after he had left. Natalie opened her eyes, but the tugging yearning didn't go away. It didn't help that she hadn't finished the autopsy. But she had to go to lunch, now. She had to if only so that she would feel better. She needed blood, now, and for more than one reason. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. That morning, even before she left work and headed for the Raven, Natalie felt ill at ease. Something was...different this morning. Forget that she still wanted to sink her fangs into something, anything; she felt a sense of absence. Janette watched Natalie pour herself a glass of blood, sensing the other's unease. "LaCroix has left the city." Natalie put the bottle down and asked, "Where did he go?" Giving a light shrug, Janette answered, "He did not say where he went or when he will be back." Natalie felt oddly nervous hearing that, uncontrollably nervous. She felt unprotected...even though LaCroix hadn't exactly done much to protect her. In fact, she hadn't even seen him for several days. "Natalie?" Janette said, approaching. "I'm fine." Natalie then quickly drank the full glass. But the blood didn't help much. Yes, it helped her nervousness that LaCroix wasn't there, but it did nothing to end her want of more blood. Nor had the blood she had had during her lunch break. Janette lightly touched Natalie's shoulder. When Natalie turned to her, Janette carefully examined the other. "Something else is distracting you. More than just LaCroix' absence." Natalie looked away, closing her eyes. Janette reached her other hand forward and turned Natalie to face her. "You saw Nicolas tonight, didn't you?" "Yes." Uncontrollably, Natalie's eyes burned a demanding gold. "Say nothing, Natalie," Janette said, pulling Natalie closer and offering her neck. Natalie backed away with difficulty. Janette's offer was so very tempting, but deep down it felt so very...wrong. "It is what you want, what you need. Think nothing of it." "How?" Natalie blurted out, backing away. "Nicolas has come to me many times for this very reason. I have not turned him away, nor will I turn you away." Natalie closed her eyes, trying to push her hunger away. But it was only getting stronger now that she had a way of ending it. But to take Janette's blood? Janette again approached, stepping in front of Natalie, who seemed lost in thought. She silently reached forward and guided Natalie closer, and this time there was no resistance. It was barely a second before Natalie bit her and Janette closed her eyes. Natalie greedily took her blood, with more force than even Nick typically used. Once her harsh and demanding wants had vanished, Natalie stopped. But she didn't pull back far from Janette, the other vampiress' blood causing nearly as much additional need as it had ended. Janette led Natalie over to the couch, and sat down, pulling Natalie to sit next to her. She then pulled Natalie to the side, at which Natalie leaned over onto her lap. Natalie closed her eyes, trying to focus on something other than Nick. But the only thing other than Nick was Janette holding her, calming her, and then the still lingering taste of Janette's blood. The first nearly succeeded. But the latter...there were too many flashes of Nick in Janette's blood for her thoughts to be on anything but Nick. Frailty - (10/13) Sitting at a table on the far side of the Raven, Natalie swirled the few sips still left in her glass. She also eyed the small gel cap sitting on the table next to her hand. Over the last week, she had been testing her limits--hers and Nick's. Most of the things she had tried, she had either asked Nick about or had him try at some point in the past. And now she was trying them herself, and she could barely believe what she had put him through. No wonder he hadn't always been entirely cooperative, and no wonder he had been very hesitant at times. She cast a glance toward the bar, seeing Janette's gaze settling right on her. Janette knew something was going on, but not what. In some ways, she nearly wished she and Nick hadn't moved stuff out of her apartment earlier. But it was done, and she didn't have to think about it any longer. She enjoyed staying here with Janette despite the occasional awkwardness they each felt, but worse than the intermittent unease was her fear of what Janette would think of her testing. Would she then tell Nick? And she knew Nick would be concerned. But she had to know. She stared at the gel cap, cast a side-ways glance toward the bar, where Janette's attention had turned away from her, and put the gel cap in her mouth, swallowing it with a small amount of the blood. Tonight, she had finally managed the dose of garlic she had started Nick out with. From the other tests involving crosses, sunlight, splinters, cow's blood and human food, she knew that she was somehow more sensitive than Nick. Or, at the least, that Nick had a far higher tolerance for pain and hunger than she did. She had tried, but she couldn't tolerate any of it, not even the cow's blood. And as a wave of pain passed through her from the garlic, and then another and another, she waited for it to end. Every dose had done this. But this time she was still feeling the effects of the previous dose, and now with another so close.... Natalie doubled over, first hitting the table in front of her, and then she turned to the side seconds later. She hurt so very much.... Janette noticed Natalie's reaction and signalled to Miklos to take her a glass of blood. Remaining by the bar, she followed Miklos' movements as he took a bottle over to the table and silently refilled Natalie's glass. She then watched as Miklos remained and encouraged Natalie to drink the entire glass, and then again filled it full before leaving. Slowly, Janette started her way to where Natalie now sat much calmer, sipping from the second glass. She elegantly slipped into the seat across from Natalie, smiling but with clear concern. "What have you been doing, Natalie?" "I..." Natalie started, but looked down and away. "You were in pain. You took something." Natalie nodded. "I've been testing," she whispered. "Just...small things. Mostly things I've either had Nick do, or that I'm curious about." "And tonight?" "Garlic. I've tried to build Nick's tolerance in the past, and--" "And LaCroix will not tolerate what you are doing. It is...foolish to test yourself in this way." "I just want to know what I've done to him, what I've asked him to do. I want to know how much I've helped him, how much I've harmed him." "You must take care around LaCroix. If you have the same wants that Nick has, LaCroix will--" "I don't want...." Natalie cut off when she realised what she was going to say. She hadn't much thought about it, but.... She started again, firmly telling Janette, "I don't have a desire to be mortal. I was just curious about what I've done to him, what he's willing to do to himself to.... I just want to understand Nick, so maybe I can help him. I'm not sure why, really, but I just had to know." "Have you told Nicolas about...liking what you are?" Natalie looked away. She had avoided strengthening her relationship with Nick, fearing what he would feel in her blood if and when he tasted it. "You truly don't want to hurt him?" Natalie looked to her and Janette could see the answer. Natalie cared for Nick greatly, genuinely. Janette faintly nodded her head, and then slowly told the other woman, "You will have to hurt him, Natalie. But he will get over it. Eventually." "I still want to help him, if he wants." "And if you can make him mortal? What will you do then?" "I don't know," Natalie whispered. She took a sip of her glass and looked away. Janette remained sitting at the table for several more minutes. Natalie did, indeed, like what she was. But would Nick understand that when he realised it? Would LaCroix recognise that she was not trying to defy him? *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. While at work the following night, Natalie suddenly felt a strong wave of hatred wash over her. The emotion itself was so strong that she had to stop what she was doing. But she suspected that if she had been busier she would have missed it. And then, seconds later, she felt pleasure. Within moments it had faded, but she had felt it. Natalie merely leaned against the counter, her eyes closed. She was almost sure the emotions had belonged to LaCroix. But...how? And why now? *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Natalie arrived back at the Raven the following morning and immediately recognised that LaCroix was both back and there. She had felt nothing more after the few seconds of emotion from him the previous night. She entered the apartment, and she saw pure hatred in LaCroix' gaze the moment she saw him. LaCroix took a step forward toward Natalie, could see her confusion. She didn't seem to know that he was aware of her little games. Her so-called tests. But he had felt them; felt her harming herself much like his son did. "LaCroix? What--" Eyes gold, LaCroix hissed, cutting Natalie off, "So, you want to test your limits, do you?" He pulled out a knife, holding it in front of him, his eyes examining the blade for a moment before he smiled sinisterly. Both Natalie and Janette took a step backwards, away from LaCroix. Natalie was afraid, and Janette knew there was nothing she could do that wouldn't anger LaCroix further. LaCroix flew at Natalie, stopped behind her, and pulled her back against him. After a short pause, he plunged the knife right through Natalie's heart. Natalie was stunned for a few, mere seconds, barely feeling LaCroix release her. And then she was out, unconscious, before she hit the ground. Janette started forward, but LaCroix pulled her back as she bent to go to Natalie. She then tried to pull away from LaCroix, and when he didn't release her, she jerked out of his hold and hissed in anger. "Why? She did nothing to you, LaCroix!" "She has been trying ridiculous--" "She is curious, LaCroix. Curious about what she is." "And it is a dangerous curiosity that must stop. And it will." Bending down over Natalie, he pulled the knife out of her chest. When Janette tried to go to Natalie, LaCroix grabbed her arm, holding her forcefully back and causing her to wince with his grip. "Leave her," he hissed, and then released her and went to the kitchen. Janette stayed nearby, but did as LaCroix had ordered. Several minutes later, Natalie came to. She was more stunned than anything else. And she felt oddly weak...and then she remembered, vaguely, what had happened. LaCroix had, essentially, murdered her. In a way, she had died; the injury would have surely killed her if she had been mortal. She sat up and her attention caught on LaCroix as he approached, fuming. And then her gaze caught on the full glass of blood in his hand, and all she could think of was that she yearned for it. "LaCroix..." she started, standing up and eyed the glass. LaCroix smiled sinisterly at Natalie. "You want this, yes?" Natalie stepped closer out of instinct and was surprised when LaCroix handed the glass to her. She took it out of greed and fear he would retract the offer, but took only a sip before she had to do her best not to gag. It was cow's blood. "Drink it!" LaCroix commanded when Natalie went to put the glass down. "You will finish it." Natalie drank the blood, although it was very difficult and went very slow. She half-feared LaCroix would force her to finish it quicker, but was glad when he let her drink it at her own pace...but she suspected that would change if she paused, even for a moment. LaCroix kept his eyes glaring right into Natalie's, making sure she continued. He could see that she knew what he expected. Natalie tried to ignore LaCroix' gaze as she drank the blood. When she had tried cow's blood before, she had stopped after two small and rancid tasting sips. She had had no desire for more, but now, as she finished off the last bit of the blood, she had drunk a whole glass of the disgusting liquid. After a short and excruciating half-hour, Natalie couldn't keep the blood down any longer and she ended up darting to the bathroom to throw up. LaCroix waited, and as soon as Natalie opened the door to the bathroom, he reached forward and took her roughly by the arm. Without a word, he led her to her room and pulled the door shut. He turned, only for Janette to step in his way. "Leave her, Janette. She needs time to think." He then walked away. Janette remained close to Natalie's room, but didn't go to the door. She just stood and listened, and when she heard neither tears nor destruction of the room, she wondered how Natalie was truly taking this. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Janette cautiously approached LaCroix, who seemed in no better of a mood than he had been in earlier. Nor had he slept. But she had to say something. Tersely, she told him, "Natalie is not like Nicolas. She wanted to know what he was putting himself through, nothing more." Other than shooting a glare that clearly showed his distaste at Janette, LaCroix did nothing. "She noticed that you were out of the city, LaCroix. She is very in tune to what she is. You pretty much left her after those first few days, LaCroix. How much do you really know about her thoughts on this?" LaCroix held back his anger at the accusation. But, Janette was, unfortunately, correct. He hadn't paid as much attention to Natalie. In fact, his attention had been more fully on his son the last couple of weeks, trying to see how the other would handle this change. It had been the hints of pain and deceit he felt from Natalie that had led him to his actions upon returning. "Natalie may not like how she became one of us, but she does not dislike being a vampire. And she does care for Nicolas, greatly, to do what she's done. However, I do not believe she agrees with him." Still, LaCroix remained silent. He disliked being lectured like this. Although he had sensed much of what Janette spoke, he had also disregarded most of what he felt from Natalie as it was such a varied and conflicting mixture. Perhaps, as Janette was suggesting, his son was the cause of this conflict. Janette turned and, having said all she thought she should, left LaCroix to his thoughts. Some time later, LaCroix finally went to Janette and told her, "Take Natalie something to drink. Human blood." LaCroix watched as Janette prepared a glass, and then as she passed by and started for Natalie's room, he told her, "And sleep, Janette. I will not harm her." Stiffening, Janette merely nodded. While she believed LaCroix' word, it was already after noon and she doubted she would get much sleep, if any, before night fell. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. It wasn't until late afternoon before Natalie ventured out of her room. When she did, she was surprised to find LaCroix apparently asleep on the couch. She was still thinking about LaCroix and what he had done. But that was not the reason she had left her room. She was hungry, and she had come to get another glass of blood. Having poured herself a glass, Natalie turned and planned to return to her room only to stop upon seeing the couch empty. And then she felt LaCroix standing behind her. "I was not betraying you," she said and turned around to face him. LaCroix was faintly surprised, and raised an eyebrow at both her statement and apparent lack of fear. "I will not tolerate another foolish child with foolish beliefs." "I wasn't aware it was foolish to want to understand, to be curious about both what I am and--" "Nicholas?" "Yes," Natalie replied. And then, after a short pause, she pushed, "And you, perhaps?" LaCroix turned away at that, caught completely off-guard by the addition. Yes, Natalie was very, very different from his son. Frailty - (11/13) "Life's little surprises...." LaCroix chuckled slightly, as he delved even deeper into his most current topic. He could almost feel his son's tenseness, despite that the younger was not there. "Such an absurd description of the life-changing obstacles that more often than not appear unwanted in one's path. A life can change so very simply through a random disease or misfortunate incident.... A car crash, an incurable cancer, or a disabling accident? Or perhaps it is not as completely life-altering? Bankruptcy, divorce, loss of a loved one.... "Or perhaps it is simply a choice where neither option is preferable. A choice between death and hell on earth.... Or even something simple, like the estrangement of a once close friend.... "Life is so very frail, so very fragile; it and its many aspects are easily altered. And, particularly when unexpected, such alterations are permanent and unchangeable, most often seen as a disadvantage with the cursed situation wished on your worst enemy. "But how do we react? Do we allow ourselves to become weak and feeble, merely allowing our frail and collapsing surroundings to decay ever quicker? Do we let the snags of life rip and tear at what we call dear? No. "Life indeed has surprises...and perhaps they should all be cherished, embraced...certainly not ignored or the cause for prolonged sadness or guilt. Take advantage of everything that comes your way, for every situation has its...benefits." Nick entered, slowly approaching as LaCroix' lips twisted into a smile. "Even death," LaCroix said in conclusion after a few moments of silence. Then, he mentioned he had a guest and switched the microphone off, quickly putting on some music. Looking back to his son, he commented, "Lost, are you...." "I am surprised at your topic. Your tone." "And I was starting to think you didn't care...." "How do you profit, LaCroix? You said that good things best come from unexpected and unwanted events." "Perhaps you should ask Natalie? I believe she would approve of the topic. She has so far enjoyed her new life." He paused, and then let his smile deepen evilly. "I suspect she will be with us for a very long time, Nicholas." Nick was stunned at the comment and nearly took a step back. "What is she to you?" "A daughter who...embraces what she is." At that, Nick squirmed. LaCroix grinned. "Her senses are nearly as honed as mine or Janette's, even without being taught." "She is a scientist, she only--" "She has no qualms killing." At this, Nick froze solid. "Nat-Natalie has...." Nick shook his head, having difficulty believing LaCroix. "No, no, she--" "She didn't tell you? My, you are out of the loop, aren't you, Nicholas? Perhaps you should spend more time with your family?" Nick had turned away at LaCroix' taunting. But he wouldn't respond to that, couldn't, as his thoughts centred on figuring out when Natalie would have killed. "First hunger," he eventually said. "You had her kill." "Yes. And even when confronted days later by the body of the victim...." Nick's eyes widened, realising LaCroix must be talking about the woman they had found on the bank of the river. He was so very shocked. He hadn't remembered any indication that Natalie could have possibly killed the woman. Given LaCroix' topic tonight, he realised she hadn't seemed the least bit surprised...she barely wavered. He had thought it was the crime scene itself, but.... Was LaCroix telling the truth? "Yes, so very lost..." LaCroix said, watching his son's features contort, likely doubting his words. "You aren't even aware where her thoughts have been lately, are you? How deep her strength runs...." Not wanting to hear anything more, Nick stepped back toward the door, and with a very short glance toward LaCroix, he left CERK. After a moment of thought, Nick headed to the morgue. He entered, silently. Natalie turned when Nick came in, somewhat surprised that he came. Or maybe she wasn't. LaCroix' comment about estranged friends had gotten to her. She and Nick had drifted apart and she wondered if they would continue like this, barely seeing one another. Nick still hadn't been by to see her as often as he used to. Nick looked around the room, noticing that Natalie's desk seemed neater than usual. Everything seemed.... Following Nick's gaze, she told him, "I'm considering quitting. I mean, there's nothing particularly wrong...but I have different hours, and I'm doing fewer autopsies and I don't get to go to the scenes as often. More lab work...." "Are you being pressured by your superiors? Are they--" "No, LaCroix--" Natalie stopped. Nick shifted. "He fixed that. They haven't said anything, haven't...pressured me in any way." Nick nodded, his eyes not meeting Natalie's. Then, he mentioned, "I went by to see LaCroix tonight. He...mentioned you've killed." He paused, seeing Natalie tense. "I didn't know." "It's fine, Nick." "The woman found by the river.... Has LaCroix had you kill any other time than that first night?" "No." Nick shifted. "LaCroix says you're...embracing being a vampire." Natalie was a bit surprised at that, and showed it. "Does he...?" "Yes." She turned away from Nick. "Nat?" "I might not feel much guilt for killing, but, Nick, I took little enjoyment in it." Natalie hesitated, wondering if she should say more. "I...don't think that I, personally, want to kill enough to do so just to kill, but I do think that, perhaps, it has..." Natalie again paused. Could she say this? She had to now, she supposed. "I think that just maybe it does have its place, Nick. It's...wrong, yes, but...." Neither said anything for several minutes. Natalie was unable to finish what she had to say, and Nick was too stunned to respond. Natalie eventually mentioned, "I haven't seen you at the Raven recently. Nor has Janette." "I know." "Are you thinking about fixing that?" Nick managed a slight smile at that. "Perhaps. If you'd like me to." "I would. So would Janette and LaCroix." When Nick didn't answer, instead tensing slightly, she suggested, "Maybe I could come by after I'm done with work?" Again, Nick smiled ever so faintly. He nodded to her, indicating that it would be okay, and then left. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Janette watched as LaCroix finished setting up a chessboard with distaste. "Don't expect me to play, LaCroix. Perhaps ask Nicolas? He enjoys the game." LaCroix glanced up, a glint in his eyes. "Sit." "LaCroix--" "Sit down." Reluctantly, Janette sat across from LaCroix as he moved one of his white pawns forward. "Why are you here, LaCroix? Nicolas--" "Has disrupted my plans. Which is fine. Now, move." Janette made no move toward doing as told. "This is about Natalie, isn't it? That's why you are here." "Yes." "Tell me, LaCroix." "Move." Janette nearly hissed at him, but forced herself to hold back. Reluctantly, she moved a pawn. LaCroix smiled, and then simply stated, "He is dead." He moved another piece. Ignoring the board, Janette asked, "The one that attacked Natalie?" "Move." "LaCroix...." "Now, Janette." Janette haphazardly took one of her pieces and moved it, barely glancing down at the board. "That's why you were away, then?" "Yes." "Why was she--" LaCroix moved a piece, taking one of Janette's, then glared at Janette. Once she sluggishly moved another piece, he told her, "Because of her value as a doctor." He moved again and took a second piece, displeased that Janette was doing so poorly. "It was because of her want to learn and because of her knowledge of us. She was seen as too dangerous as a mortal, but too valuable to kill." "Then why not just bring her over?" "Expected Nicholas would do so. Fools." "Who was behind this?" LaCroix looked away. He hadn't been able to get much information out of the vampire that had been sent to do the deed. "Unknown." "Does Natalie know about this?" "No." *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Natalie went to Nick's immediately after her shift ended. And Nick had instantly brought up their relationship, and how things were now very different. And Nick was right, they were. She wasn't sure what to say or do. "We aren't...limited like we were before," Nick abruptly said, trying to be more specific. Natalie seemed uncomfortable with the subject, but then he wasn't helping, either--he, too, was being very cautious. "Natalie?" She smiled. Had Nick also listened to LaCroix' broadcast? Is this why he was, now, trying to move their relationship closer, whether that be back to where it was or more? As her smile had waned, she first re-asserted it and then spoke, "Yes, it has changed, hasn't it? In many ways." She took a step closer to Nick, wondering if she really wanted to do what she craved and if it was a good idea. And if Nick would let her. Nick remained in place as Natalie slowly approached, half-wondering who was more prepared. Was this what Natalie wanted? And was this something he would allow himself? Natalie, now so close to Nick that they were touching, focused as much of her attention on just his face. She couldn't let this become a matter of basal wants and needs, even if that was what dominated her thoughts. As Natalie's hands came up to his face, Nick closed his eyes and a second later she kissed him. While he felt her pull back, physically, he could sense that she didn't want to. And then he pulled Natalie back to him and kissed her, almost desperately. Natalie's response, however, was nearly as reckless as his own, and Nick couldn't hold back any more than she could. He then kissed her on her neck, but stopped when Natalie did the same to him. Natalie was so very close to sinking her fangs into Nick's neck when she noticed it was getting lighter outside. It was still before dawn, but there wasn't much time. And as she felt Nick's fangs tease her skin, she had two very different thoughts. First, she wanted him...she wanted Nick and his blood. Second, she knew Nick wanted the same and knew where this would lead. And it was nearly dawn. She would have to stay the day whatever would happen. Closing her eyes and with a great feeling of dissatisfaction she moved away from Nick. As Nick had been about ready to sink his fangs into Natalie's neck, he was stunned for several seconds when he found she wasn't there. When he opened his eyes, however, he too noticed that the sun would be up soon. "I'm sorry, Nick, but...." "Sun's nearly up." "Yeah. I should probably go. I mean, we both have work tomorrow, and...." Natalie would have blushed if she had fed recently. And then, silently and quickly, she left. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Arriving back at the Raven slightly before dawn, Natalie paused upon finding LaCroix sitting in front of a chessboard, alone. She knew enough to see that the game was unfinished, and that LaCroix had definitely been winning. "Do you play?" LaCroix asked, looking over toward Natalie. Natalie froze at the question. "Ah, no, I don't." LaCroix turned back to the board. "Pity." LaCroix started to reset the pieces. Janette had left the game once she had the answers she wanted. As LaCroix was now busy, Natalie went and got a glass of blood. She drank half the glass, filled it further, and then started toward her room. "You went to see Nicholas," LaCroix stated. Natalie stopped at the words, and turned to face LaCroix. "Yes." LaCroix smiled, pleasantly. "You have yet to tell him about yesterday's little...incident." Natalie stiffened, her fingers gripping her glass tighter. "Nicholas will find out." Still uncomfortable, Natalie didn't answer. She knew how Nick would find out: through her blood. And Nick would find out so much more when he tasted her blood. And she feared how he would react to what he saw and what that would mean for them. LaCroix continued to grin at Natalie, both at her discomfort and at the fading feelings flowing through her. Natalie left for her room and closed the door. LaCroix mentioning Nick merely led her thoughts back to the chessboard that had been set up. Had Nick been by earlier? Or did LaCroix, perhaps, expect Nick the following night? Frailty - (12/13) Over the next couple of weeks, Natalie continued trying to keep Nick at a distance. But it wasn't working. One day she stayed over at Nick's. Again, they had gone no further than before, but dawn had already come. And Nick had consequently discovered her distaste for cow's blood. Nick had surprised her by pulling out a half-full bottle of human blood, at which he explained he had been occasionally drinking human blood, but only rarely. The reminder that Nick was still, for the most part, drinking cow's blood and not human had done more to calm her wants than the blood had. But now, tonight, when Nick stopped by at the morgue they had almost immediately gone at one another, rather out of control. They had both, wordlessly decided that it was time to seize the moment...as it were. Within seconds Natalie had unbuttoned Nick's shirt and Nick had pulled hers off, neither caring that the morgue was far from private. Through the suppression of over a month, neither could hold back. Natalie nearly sank her fangs into Nick's neck, only stopping upon hearing the door open and a heartbeat approach. She quickly shut her eyes and buried her face against Nick to hide her features, but she still got a glimpse of Schanke. Nick had pulled his jacket around Natalie's shoulders immediately and turned them, so that Natalie's back was to Schanke. "Wow, Nick, ah, Nat.... Uh, I was just looking for you, Nick. I didn't mean to, well," Schanke said, gesturing toward the two. Nick managed a smile and nodded to Schanke. Then, he kissed Natalie deeply, at which Schanke left the room. He then left, taking his jacket with him. Natalie didn't move for several minutes, Nick's departure this time the worst she had felt. She then put her shirt back on and fixed the rest of her clothes. She still had several more hours before her shift was over, and she honestly wasn't sure if she was going to make it. Natalie could still feel the temptation of Nick's skin next to hers, for a moment his neck utterly and wholly accessible.... And then it had been gone. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. "I'll be right back. I want to check on a...source," Nick said, getting out of the Caddy later that night and going into the Raven, aware Janette was his only quickly accessible source of relief. Schanke stayed sitting, and muttered, "Source. Yeah, right." After several minutes passed and Nick hadn't returned, Schanke got out of the car and went into the club. Across the room, he saw Nick with Janette, kissing. Nick turned and saw Schanke. He gave a glance to Janette and then crossed the club to Schanke, spinning his partner and pushing him toward the exit. Once outside, Schanke mentioned, "I thought you and Natalie...." "It's complicated, Schanke." "Does Nat know? I mean...two women...man...." "Natalie knows about my relationship with Janette. But it's not what it looks like, Schanke. It's not what you're thinking," Nick told him, then tried to lighten the moment, saying, "Come on," and heading back to the car. Schanke hesitated a few seconds before following Nick. He wasn't sure what he thought about what was going on nor what it looked like other than that Nick was.... But like Nick said, he didn't really know what was going on. It was 'complicated'. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. After her shift was over, Natalie made it halfway to the Raven before she stopped, realising Nick had assuredly gone to Janette. If he wasn't there now, he likely had been earlier. And she didn't want to chance that he would still be there, or arrive at the Raven only to discover that, perhaps, Janette wasn't there. She closed her eyes. LaCroix. Damn it. She really didn't want to go to him like this, but she was too uncomfortable to go to either Nick or Janette. Focusing, she tried to think. She had no idea where LaCroix actually lived.... She felt a tingle of...something to her right, and she instinctively took off, following it. The feeling strengthened until she landed on a second story balcony several blocks from the Raven. Instinctively, she pulled the door open--it was unlocked. She stepped into a small entryway of a sort, where there was another door. She hesitated several seconds, and then, when she went to knock, the door opened just before her knuckles rapped on the door. LaCroix smiled, having sensed her approach. He watched as she stood, stunned, and invited her in with his hand. Quietly, Natalie entered, but she didn't meet LaCroix' smiling gaze. He knew exactly why she was there. LaCroix closed the door, wasting little time before walking up to Natalie and tilting her amber gaze up to look at him. "It's been some time since--" Natalie cut him off, apologising, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to--" She stopped when LaCroix raised his hand slightly, stopping her words with a finger. "Most of my children would not come to me. Janette...does not have enough restraint, nor does she care. Nicholas has too much and it only feeds his guilt when he falters. Neither come to me, whether I can or cannot...help them." He removed his finger from Natalie's lip and smirked ever so slightly. "And you...you know exactly what you want. And you are not afraid to come for it...." Natalie took a step back, only for LaCroix to stop her, gently taking her arms. "LaCroix, I--" "Take what you came for," he said, pulling her slightly toward him. He then released her arms and was pleased when she didn't pull away. LaCroix reached up to his collar and undid the pin and top button. He watched Natalie's eyes flash a bright but deep red, aware she would not be refusing him. "Yes, that's good," he whispered, telling her, "Don't hold back." Natalie had no intention to do anything of the sort. Slowly, she raised her hands and first undid another button, then pulled his collar to one side. LaCroix turned his head to the side and closed his eyes just before Natalie roughly bit into him. She struck so abruptly that he moved slightly back from the force. Once Natalie took enough to satiate her desire, she pulled away only enough to reposition herself. She let LaCroix hold her close to him as her mixed thoughts only confused her. She wanted Nick's blood, still, and yet LaCroix' blood and the hints of him enticed her nearly as much. After what was likely several minutes, she slowly stepped back from him and asked, "Why did you allow this?" "Do I need a reason?" He took a step toward Natalie, and then walked around her. LaCroix stopped directly behind her and kissed her on the neck. Feeling her tense with the touch and nearly pull away, he took her shoulders, pulled her back against him, and whispered into her ear, "You've not yet taken Nicholas' blood...nor been intimate with him...." Natalie tensed further, feeling LaCroix was poking too far into what she had or had not done with Nick. LaCroix pulled Natalie back tighter against him. "You also have yet to have your blood taken or know what that does to us...." Again, he kissed her neck, feeling her torn emotions, her instinct clashing with what she actually wanted. Fearing what LaCroix was trying to initiate, she protested, "LaCroix, I don't want a...ah," she stopped, and closed her eyes as he kissed her again, his fangs just touching her skin. "I don't want a relationship with you." "We already have a...relationship. You are my daughter, my child, my blood." "Isn't that enough?" LaCroix stepped back from her. He then walked across the room, brushing shoulders with Natalie as he passed by her. He turned around slowly. "I have no wish of winning your emotions over, nor of replacing...our Nicholas in your thoughts. Merely allowing you to satisfy your curiosity, your needs. You are curious, yes?" Natalie nodded silently. She did wonder.... Hesitantly, she took a step toward him, but stopped after a step. "You may leave, if you wish. It's not quite sunrise. You may also approach. Choose." Natalie stiffened. LaCroix was making it very clear this would be her choice, very clear. She could leave, but she really didn't want to. Taking another step toward LaCroix, she did what she could to relax. She walked up to LaCroix, paused a moment, and then kissed him on the lips. LaCroix turned away just enough that their lips barely brushed. He then held her back from him, telling her, "You need do nothing." LaCroix leaned forward, his lips just touching her neck a second before he bit her, taking her very sweet and filling blood. Natalie was stunned at the sensation, a mixture of faint pain among much pleasure. It was far different than the shear pain from the other times she had been bitten. As LaCroix pulled back, Natalie instinctively bit him in return, forcing his head to the side with even more strength than she had before. When she finally stopped and again leaned against him, LaCroix held her tight, his eyes gold from a slight lingering hunger from having his blood taken twice in such a short time period. Even with the slight hint of weakness, a feeling he would tolerate from actions caused by only a small number of others, he was very pleased. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. That following night, Natalie returned to the Raven shortly before her shift started. She had, somehow, fallen asleep shortly after she had taken LaCroix' blood the second time. And waking that evening, lying on one side of LaCroix' bed still fully dressed, she had ended up taking LaCroix' blood again, and he hers. That last nearly embarrassed her. It hadn't been necessary, not at all. Entering Janette's apartment, she saw the other vampire's worry and averted her eyes. "Natalie--" "I'm sorry I didn't come back last night, I thought..." Natalie stopped, realising what she was about to say. "Is something wrong?" "I just...I didn't know if Nick would be here, and I...." "You weren't with Nicolas?" Natalie froze. "He...did stop by last night. I think he was hoping you would drop by his place in the morning." Closing her eyes, Natalie started toward her room. She needed to change clothes for work, as she was not going to wear the same thing two days in a row. And then she would have to leave, as she would already be close to being late. Janette watched Natalie walk silently back to her room, and then a few minutes later she left. Merely seconds passed before LaCroix dropped by, clearly pleased. "She went to you, didn't she?" LaCroix simply smiled. "What did you do to her, LaCroix?" At that, he audibly laughed. "As you said, she came to me. For the same reason Nicholas went to you. And then I satisfied some of her curiosity." Janette stiffened. LaCroix had taken Natalie's blood. "I think she would have preferred that Nicholas be the first to taste her blood, but I made the offer and she accepted. I did nothing she didn't explicitly allow." Janette now looked away, now understanding Natalie's reaction. Aloud, she commented, "I thought she went to Nicolas'.... I wasn't aware she knew where you lived." "She didn't. But she found me, Janette, something I'm not sure even you could do under similar circumstances." With difficulty, Janette fought hard against the urge to react and she managed to remain silent despite the odd hint of favouritism. She knew LaCroix, in a way, preferred Nick despite their differences, but she was used to being the one compared to and not on the receiving end of LaCroix' teasing. Seeing Janette's suppressed anger, LaCroix then said, "She wants Nicholas. Perhaps...suggest that he not hold back? It's what he wants as well, isn't it? No harm in prodding him along." Now, Janette was suspicious. What was LaCroix doing? "Why, LaCroix? Why now and not earlier?" LaCroix merely stared at her, silently. "It won't make him come back to us. You cannot force him, LaCroix." Still, LaCroix didn't comment. Who said that was his intention? Yes, it was something he wanted...eventually. He could wait for that, but he was tired of his son's recent hesitation. It was far from being necessary, no matter the other's so-called morals. As Janette left, he smiled to himself. His son had to eventually realise that he was living alone in his fantasy world and that no one else would ever want to spend much time there. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Several nights later, aware both he and Natalie were both off, Nick went by the Raven. Janette had talked to him a couple of nights ago, asking him about his hesitancy regarding Natalie. She also mentioned that LaCroix had been the one that brought this up to her, but that she, too, saw it and the effects it had on Natalie. He had decided to do as Janette suggested because he knew the longer he waited, the more awkward their conversations and interactions would become. Nick spotted Natalie, and headed straight to her. She seemed happy to see him, but she also seemed nervous. Had Janette or LaCroix said anything to her? Perhaps also mentioned her own hesitancy? Natalie looked away as Nick approached, knowing what she had to tell him before anything else, before he heard from anyone else. "Nick, I quit." "Quit what?" Nick asked, downright confused, not understanding what she was trying to tell him. She looked straight at Nick. "Work. I quit." Nick was surprised. He knew she had thought about it, but.... "Was it your choice?" "Yes. I thought hard on this, and I just think it would be better, for now, if I didn't work. Or maybe work somewhere else...but I want some time off, whatever the case." Nick closed his eyes. He hadn't really expected this, or had he? If it was her choice, what reason did he have to say something about her decision, or worse, argue about it? He nodded, managing a smile, "As long as it is what you want." "It is." Nick slowly closed the distance between them. He had do start this now, before he turned and walked away. He paused just before kissing her, stopping before doing so. Natalie, seeing him hold back, leaned forward and kissed him. She had already decided that the next time Nick came to see her that she would push aside her fears. It was time for Nick to see whatever he might see. As their lips parted, she prodded, "And do you know what you want?" Struck by an odd familiarity of the tone and the question, Nick didn't answer. It reminded him so much of Janette.... But he had always thought they were so very different. And they were, weren't they? Or had he broadened those differences, because Janette was a vampire and Natalie had been mortal? "Do you?" Natalie again asked, this time taking one of Nick's hands and pulling him further into the club. Once they had gone out of sight, Nick replied, "Yes," his eyes glowing faintly. And then he flew forward, stopping only when Natalie's back met the wall. Although somewhat startled when Nick kissed her, she kissed him back. And as her fear of Nick's reaction returned, Natalie turned her head to the side and, putting her hands on the back of Nick's neck, pulled him closer. Nick bit into Natalie's neck, not allowing himself to put it off any longer. Her blood was so very sweet.... And then he felt a flash of delight. He drank deeper, wanting to taste it again. Instead, he got more disjointed flashes. This didn't make any sense. Natalie was.... As Nick abruptly released her, Natalie met Nick's eyes as he took a step back from her. His face showed horror. Nick just shook his head, letting things click into place. Natalie's clothes were the least of what had changed. She had gone to both Janette and LaCroix for their blood. She had even allowed LaCroix to take her blood. She was more a part of LaCroix' family than he was. And worst of all, she was embracing what she was. She had lied to him. She enjoyed being a vampire. She had certainly quit work, but she had also fixed that so she could do that without any notice whatsoever. And she had done it, on her own. Oddly, he felt LaCroix' satisfaction at how well she was adapting, and at that he felt sick. She had taken LaCroix' blood recently, and more than once. And she had enjoyed it. "Nick?" she asked when he took another step away. As he ceased shaking his head, his eyes locked on Natalie's. She liked being a vampire more than she wanted to admit to anyone. No wonder LaCroix had been pleased. She had even enjoyed killing that night she came across. True, he didn't feel an overwhelming desire in her to hunt, but she had liked the sensation of hunting and he knew she would have no problem doing so again. But worst of all were her thoughts on him becoming mortal. She had no desire for her old life back, for her mortality back, even with how unwillingly it had been taken from her. Even if he happened to eventually become mortal, her thoughts were leaning toward remaining as she was now, as a vampire. "Please, say something, Nick." Nick closed his eyes. He didn't want to hurt her. And if he said anything, he knew he would. "It's not what--" "It's not what? Nat, the blood doesn't lie. It shows more than even one may be willing to--" he cut off. Natalie swallowed. "What...what did you, ah...." Nick closed his eyes and a flash of sheer pleasure passed through him. It was Natalie's, from when she had killed. And then, a flitting of conversation struck him hard once again. "You don't care." "Nick?" "You never felt guilt over killing that woman, Nat. Never. And you said you weren't embracing this change, but you are. You're enjoying it more than even you've realised. I haven't even seen you drive for.... And you and LaCroix, what happened, I...." "You saw what LaCroix did to me, didn't you?" Natalie whispered, looking down. "And you don't understand why I don't hold it against him." Nick's eyes widened, and he stiffened. "What, exactly..." Nick stopped, wondering if she realised he didn't know, that he hadn't seen anything resembling even a hint of this when he had taken her blood. "Maybe you're right about that," Natalie abruptly said. "What death feels like...being stabbed in the heart..." Nick clenched his jaw tight, not daring to speak. What could Natalie have possibly done to cause LaCroix to do that? "But I saw his reasons, Nick. And he's not--" "What? He's not evil?" he hissed, barely able to believe Natalie was defending him, defending what he did. "You've taken his blood enough times to know what he's done to me, to Janette and others. That night, after we...you went to him, Natalie. And you stayed the day. And you let him take your blood, you even let him do it more than once." "And because I enjoyed it," she whispered, turning away. "Yes. And you feel more comfortable around him than around me. You even feel safe around him, when you have no reason to. LaCroix is dangerous, Natalie!" "Yes, he can be. But--" "But what, Natalie? Yes, there's more to LaCroix than meets the eye, more to him than he lets on, but...it's not enough reason to explicitly trust him." "It's enough for me." "And when he hurts you again? And he will, Natalie." "I'll decide what to do then." Nick turned away from Natalie. This wasn't going anywhere. He closed his eyes, and then Nick realised Natalie hadn't taken his blood. In fact, other than the kiss, she had done nothing.... "You knew what would happen, didn't you?" He spun back to her, watching as Natalie looked away, showing her embarrassment. "Nick, I--" "You didn't want me to take your blood." "I did, Nick." "But you feared this. You knew what I would see. You knew...." Natalie tensed and then answered, "Yes." Nick turned away from Natalie. "Nick, I'm sorry, but I can't change how I feel, I can't change my thoughts.... If I could, I would, but I can't pretend my...opinion of...this is the same as yours," she said, waving her arms in exasperation. She didn't want to say it, voice it aloud. She didn't want to tell him that she would never have his same thoughts about being a vampire unless his happened to change...or maybe with time, she would, but...that wouldn't be soon. "I wish--" "I know," Nick whispered, and then feeling an overwhelming urge to be both alone and away from others, he left without turning back to look at Natalie. Standing still for a moment, Natalie felt that she just lost something...and yet she almost felt relieved. But she was still saddened and worried by Nick's quick departure. Frailty - (13/13) LaCroix was becoming annoyed. Natalie had set out a board game-- Scrabble--and suggested that he might enjoy it. Apparently, she thought it might be challenging enough for him. And indeed, it had been. She had even left him the rules several days before they played. The first game, he had lost. Badly. The second, he had managed to win. By then, he had decided the first game was just a fluke and that he would certainly win the third game. But he was losing again. Even with the large bank of words he had learned and used throughout the years, Natalie had a whole set of medical words that, while many were based on words he knew, they were fresher in her mind. The gap in points wasn't as wide as the first game, but it was wide enough that he would not be recovering before the letters were gone. His eyes glowed golden for a moment, and Natalie was pleased that the game was sufficiently challenging for him. "So, I see you're having fun," Natalie poked, teasing the other. LaCroix hissed back, across the game. This was not his idea of fun. Although...it might be fun to put his son in place sometime. And he might be about to lose a second of three games, but he was tempted to suggest they play again, if only for the satisfaction of quickly turning that around. "Are you going to--" LaCroix looked abruptly toward the door, sensing something. He was both pleased and disappointed that his son had decided to come just now. Janette saw LaCroix' sudden reaction and went to the door, pulling it open to find Nick preparing to knock. "You know you are always welcome here, Nicolas." "LaCroix is here, isn't he?" Nick asked the instant he arrived at Janette's, as if he hadn't even heard her statement. Eyes slightly wide, not expecting to see Nick so soon given what Natalie had told her, she answered, "Yes, but--" Nick pushed past Janette and into her apartment. He froze when he found LaCroix and Natalie playing a game. He hadn't sensed her presence like he had Janette and LaCroix, and was a bit surprised. At least he wouldn't have to tell Natalie separately. Ignoring Natalie, he turned his gaze solely to LaCroix. After he finished forming another word, LaCroix looked up. "And you're here because...?" Nick set his jaw. As if LaCroix had the right to ask why he was there. This wasn't LaCroix' home, it was Janette's. "I'm leaving, LaCroix. I need time alone away from...everything. I need time to think." Natalie moved to stand, but Janette put her hand on her shoulder to keep her in place. Looking up at Janette, Natalie received a slight shake of the head. Nick acted as if he saw nothing, still staring at LaCroix and only LaCroix. "Don't bother coming after me, LaCroix. Not now." He nearly said more, but instead shook his head and left. No one moved for a moment, but then LaCroix stood and also left. Natalie again tried to get up, at which Janette surprisingly allowed her. Then, Janette said, "Leave them. LaCroix won't be changing Nicolas' mind. And you will see Nick again. He will not stay away forever." Natalie closed her eyes and nodded. She knew Nick would take this hard, but she hadn't expected him to actually leave. But Janette was right--she would certainly see him again. Eventually. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. LaCroix followed Nick outside and found the younger man waiting for him, yet still facing away, as if it were difficult for the other to remain even a moment. "You won't change my mind." When LaCroix didn't speak, Nick turned to face him. "But that's not why you came after me, is it?" "You did not even look at her." "Why does that matter to you?" "It is...unlike you. And the feelings I sense in you...Nicholas, you must--" "Then you must see why I am leaving!" Nick hissed. "And why I want to be alone to think." "You won't be seeing Natalie again before you leave," LaCroix stated. "No. I am...somewhat uncertain. Of leaving." Nick averted his eyes. "Leaving Natalie, at this time." "Because she was attacked," LaCroix stated. He smirked slightly. "You doubt my ability to protect her? Or my willingness?" Nick stiffened. LaCroix then scoffed. "There is no need to worry, Nicholas. Her attacker is dead and she is in no immediate danger." "Why haven't you said anything?" "You didn't ask." "I am now. Why was she attacked?" When the other didn't answer, Nick demanded, "Tell me, LaCroix!" "Because of her perceived value to us as a vampire," LaCroix simply stated, not elaborating. "Does she know?" "Not that I am aware." Nick's eyes narrowed. "Not that you're aware?" The corners of LaCroix' lips tweaked slightly upward. "I thought you had decided to leave?" LaCroix then turned around and returned inside. Natalie stood, and she watched as LaCroix' attention drifted slowly to the game. She knew he was just waiting for a reason to stop, to call it a stalemate. And even so, she wanted to stop as well. Knowing that she had made Nick leave.... *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Natalie stared across the room at the wall as she lay on her bed. Nick was gone. She had even gone over to his place, only to find it completely cleaned out. Nothing was left. It was almost as if Nick had been planning this, or considering it for some time...but then, time had been passing so quickly. When she went by the precinct, she had run into Schanke...who had mentioned it had been a couple of weeks since he had last seen her. The statement had stunned her so much that when Schanke asked how she was she didn't immediately answer. Schanke had been so very dismayed...first by how she had changed even if he didn't see the full extent of those changes, then she had quit work, and then Nick also quit and abruptly left.... She had frozen about then, made some feeble excuse for why she had to go, and then she had waved goodbye, walked outside and down the street, and then flew back to the Raven. She closed her eyes, only to sit up a moment later: LaCroix. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. LaCroix barged into the Raven, ignoring Janette as he scanned for Natalie. She was in her room. He then turned his attention to Janette. They were up to something and trying to hide it from him. Janette's thoughts had wandered, betraying to him that something was up--more specifically that Natalie was planning to leave. Natalie entered, only for LaCroix to fly at both her and Janette. Janette managed to get between them. "Please, LaCroix--" Focused on Natalie, LaCroix half-hissed, "So, you've decided to leave as well, have you?" Natalie stiffened. LaCroix then turned to Janette. "And you have taken the liberty to help her." "Yes. I have spoken to Aristotle and he has agreed to--" LaCroix snarled at Janette for going behind him like this. She had no right to take such liberties on her own for Natalie. "I asked her to, LaCroix." LaCroix' attention shifted back to Natalie at the remark. Nervous, Natalie explained, "I...I thought that maybe Nick had the right idea. Maybe I need some time alone as well." "You've been a vampire merely...weeks." "And you've said it yourself, LaCroix, that she has adapted well," Janette reminded him. "She will be fine on her own." LaCroix glared at Janette. It seemed that short of dragging Natalie off with him, highly likely against her will, he had no choice but to leave her to do as she wished. "Fine," he said. After all, he was far more concerned for his son than for this new daughter of his, and he had little reason to deny her the time. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. LaCroix stood on the rooftop of the Raven, eyes closed, the wind wiping against him. Natalie had left soon after his discovery of the plan. And then Janette had simply told him that it was time for her to leave, that she had spent more than enough years in Toronto. He had not said a word about the decision. After his son's statement and Janette's meddling and creation of a plan for Natalie to leave, he knew it was coming. While Janette was very loyal in the end, she had been straying from him the last several decades. She preferred his company when her brother was also there...and Nick had left her alone. He could still feel all of them. His son was far away, likely on the American west coast. Natalie was nearby, merely a few hundred miles from Toronto. Janette was currently still in the city, although she had plans to leave for Paris in two days. And he, himself.... He would leave later that night. LaCroix' lips twisted up. His son's idea appealed to him the most. So, perhaps he should head west? Into the darkness, away from the sun. And with another gust of wind, LaCroix was gone. ~finis~ I hope you enjoyed the story, and thanks much for reading! Jarvinia jarvinia@gmx.com