In Excess By Jarvinia Oooh, looky...I finally finished this thing! Been sitting around partially written for years. Oops. This is *somewhat* a Tracy-centric story...or about as Tracy-centric as I will likely *ever* write. Main characters are Tracy, Nick, LaCroix, and Natalie, in that order. Hmm, change 'somewhat' to 'very', by the way... This story takes place after 'Hunted', 'Death and Life', 'Uncovered' and 'State of Confusion'...and probably will make more sense if you at least have an idea of what's going on in there! Super essential info needed: Flashback in 'State of Change' (or, really, just knowledge Nick and Elliott have met), knowledge that Tracy and Natalie were brought over by Nick (punishment for Nick via Enforcers--other option was for 'em all to be killed) and that they, along with LaCroix, left Toronto and are currently in Seattle. This has not been beta-ed, sorry about that. This is probably only about PG/PG-13 ('violence'/'graphic death', less than usual). I tried to keep the writing style somewhat consistent, but if it seems to change a little I apologise: Some was written back in, er, 2000/early 2001, another chunk in 2003 or 2004, and then the final chunk in March 2007. May not be archived without permission. And finally, for those that have been wanting a fifth story in this series, enjoy! In Excess - (01/11) "Nick! Where are you?" Having caught the attention of a good portion of the precinct--just about everyone *except* her partner--Tracy put an end to her tactic of yelling for him when she knew he likely wasn't even there. Nick wasn't going to miraculously appear in front of her just because she was looking for him. She knew that. In fact, she guessed he was probably talking to LaCroix at his club. At least, that's what the odd sensation across her link with Nick seemed to point at. Damned link. It wasn't doing her any good. Oh, she could tell when Nick was coming or going, could even sense Natalie a little through it, but that was about it. Otherwise, it seemed useless. She'd rather it not be there. She didn't even know how it worked...she could just feel something that told her. So far, she hadn't figured out how to get Nick's attention when she wanted to. That would be much more useful than whatever this was. Somehow, she'd sent some alert to him when Michael had taken her, but she still didn't know how. It was like he didn't care about it, or something. Like he was ignoring her. Nick had now been gone from the precinct for the last forty-five minutes, and her frustration was growing. Since they'd moved here everything had just been crazy, but the last couple of weeks had been far too calm. Staring at her partner's empty desk, she glared at the back of his chair. Her anger was rising, she could feel it, and underneath was the ever-present hunger that she just couldn't get rid of. Being angry with Nick certainly didn't help with that. "Detective Ward?" Tracy turned at the now familiar voice, and sure enough, there stood Lauren. "Just Tracy is fine." "Seen Nick around?" At that, her anger boiled a little warmer. "No, I haven't." "Do you know when he'll be back? I want to talk to him...." She saw the hopefulness in Lauren's gaze. Nick had an admirer, and apparently Lauren was going to make herself known. "No, Nick seems to have left the planet about 45 minutes ago. If he crashes back to Earth, I'll let you know." "Ward, get in here," Captain Elliott stated, just loud enough for her to hear. Rolling her eyes, she obeyed, closing the office door behind her. "Where's your partner?" "Um...I don't know." "You don't know. Does anybody?" When she didn't answer, he sighed. He had thought his new detectives had been doing pretty good, but he wasn't sure anymore. "Fine. Here." He handed her a crumpled piece of paper. "I want you to go to that address. Since Cole's not here, I guess you go alone. As soon as you see him, go over what you found and remind him to not run off like that again. He does it again and he's in here for a talk. Got that?" "Yes, Captain." Once it was apparent he was done, she scurried out of the office. She would get Nick for this...as soon as she caught up with him, that was. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Arriving back at the precinct, Tracy found Nick right there, sitting calmly at his desk. Instead of sitting down, Tracy stopped behind her chair. "Where were you?" "Sorry, I didn't think I'd be gone that-" "Fine. Don't tell me." She sat down, leaning back in her chair. "We have a new case. A young woman shot to death in her apartment. Her place was broken into. We're running some fingerprints found around the doorknob. Oh, and the Captain wanted me to tell you not to disappear again. Next time you're in his office and in a lot of trouble." "Is the body at the morgue?" "Yeah, it's at the morgue." Tracy quickly stood, her mood lightening slightly. "I'll fill you in on the way, although I don't know if Natalie's found anything." *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. "Gun's a 38 calibre. If you find it, we should be able to make a pretty good case. The victim, Heather Reynolds, was shot three times, and I retrieved two of those bullets. The third is likely still in her apartment." Natalie methodically put the bullets into a bag, her attention focusing on Nick. He was fidgeting, and it was getting on her nerves. Not only that, but Tracy seemed nearly downright hostile, not to her, but to Nick. "From the angle of the wounds, I would say her killer was substantially taller than her, but since she was barely five foot, I don't think that will help much." Catching their shaking heads, she asked, "So, do you two have anything useful yet?" Tracy shot a glare at her partner. "No, not really. One of her neighbours heard the shot. She was too shaken up to be any use before, but we're going to go over there next, see if she's calmed down some." There was an awkward moment of silence, and then they turned to leave. Natalie caught Nick's arm, making him reluctantly stop. "Could I talk to you for a second?" "I'll wait in the car," Tracy stated, letting the door slam shut behind her. Once the detective's footsteps had faded, Natalie leaned back against the counter. "Nick, what's going on? I thought you had solved your little problem." When he didn't comment, his stance merely stiffening, she reminded him, "Tracy told you to back off, that she didn't want to be watched every moment of the day. You eventually agreed, and until tonight, everything seemed fine. Then, you disappear, putting the pressure on Tracy. Not only that, but you followed her to the crime scene, or am I wrong?" When Nick winced, she muttered, "Thought so." She had been right. The only question now was why hadn't Tracy sensed him as well? "What is going on?" He sighed, the blank, off the planet stare turning into frustration. "I'm not sure. There's more to Tracy's, 'I want some space' than just that. She's tense, and I think she's been drinking more than she should." "Blood, or something else?" "Blood. She's been going home for breaks, and even then I've caught sight of a flask, twice last night alone." "So, what's the cause for concern?" "In large amounts, blood can bring out the vampire and the need for blood starts to control us. You've seen what it can do. Remember, I fell off the wagon a few years ago and you saw what it did." "And you're afraid Tracy's going to go too far, that she'll be controlled by it. That she'll start wanting it and drinking it solely because of her wants and not her needs?" Nick nodded. He didn't want to voice any more. Tracy had never killed, nor did she know the full affects of fresh human blood. Just under a month before, she had been exposed to the freshest blood she'd ever had, and it had more negative affects than positive. "Nick, you're going to have to talk to her. If she's trying to hide this." "I know she's hiding it, that's why I followed. I wanted to see what she does when I'm not around." "And...?" "Did you see her reaction to the victim's blood?" Prepared to nod, she paused. No. Tonight she hadn't seen. She had been standing behind Tracy. "No, I didn't," she finally stated. "Her eyes changed, Nat, and it was very obvious. She nearly reached out to taste the blood. I've seen Tracy a little rocky, but never this close to the edge." "Tracy's not going to be happy when she finds out about your spying. She wanted space, and thinks you're trusting her-" "I know, I know. I'll deal with it once I figure out how." He forced a smile to his lips. "It'll work out." With that, he turned and left, heading back to his car and Tracy. In Excess - (02/11) .:[ Tracy licked her lips and closed her eyes as the warm blood touched her tongue. It was sweet. Unbelievably so. She wanted more, and knew that it lay waiting for her, that there was still more of this particular flavour, and that it was hers. This sweet flame belonged to her and only her.... ]:. Tracy sat up with a start, the dream already fading. And yet, she could nearly taste the blood in her mouth. She could nearly see its source; a bloody wound staring back at her, the puncture wounds jagged and frantic, looking more like some animal had bitten the flesh instead of a vampire. She trembled, trying to push the thoughts away. It was just a dream. Nothing more. Calming somewhat, a slight shiver remained. She was hungry. It was unbearable. Never had she considered the consequences of the hunger. Not like this. Despite everything Nick had taught her, and despite knowing she had to learn to control her hunger, it rose quicker and quicker, pulling her down into a swamp filled with quicksand. If she didn't get out soon, if she didn't escape, it would drown her. Tracy pushed the covers back and got out of bed, making her way to the kitchen as slowly as possible. She had to keep control. She had to. She had no choice. Carefully, she pulled a bottle out of the refrigerator and a mug from the cupboard. Oh so much did she want to simply bring the neck of glass to her lips and drain the bottle, but it would compromise her control. The hunger would then take command--something she could not allow. She poured the blood slowly into the mug, filling it nearly to the top. Setting the bottle down, she picked up the mug and held it in her hands, the top of the liquid quivering slightly as she shook. She brought it to her lips and took a small sip. With the taste, her dream came back full force. It threatened to consume her. She closed her eyes, forcing it from her mind once more. She finished the mug with several large sips, her actions mostly controlled. She stiffened as she felt Nick prod her thoughts, but as soon as she noticed it, he was gone. Had he even been there, or was it just her imagination? He had to have been there, she knew it. He'd been keeping a close eye on her lately, hadn't he? Quietly, silently. And he knew something was wrong. He was waiting for her to slip and mess up. She couldn't let herself do that. She would prove to him that she could do this on her own, that she wasn't some child. The empty mug broke in her hands, the pieces falling to the counter with several ceramic clangs. She reigned in her emotions, determined to stay in control. The bottle nearly empty, she left it on the counter. Nick wanted to watch her. So be it. She would just need to take care to notice when he was there and to remain focused anywhere he might follow her. He wouldn't see her weaknesses, he couldn't. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. As Tracy sat down at her desk several minutes late, Nick accepted a folder from Lauren. "Thanks." She gave him a smile and quickly left. Turning to his partner, Nick asked, "How are you doing, Trace?" "Fine." She looked away from Nick, and then told him, "Lauren really likes you, you know?" He didn't like the change of subject. It wasn't what it was changed to that bothered him, though. "Look, I know you've been having nightmares." He watched her stiffen slightly, the pencil in her hand being gripped tighter. "I'm just saying you might be pushing too hard and too fast. You don't have to. Just give it time. It'll work itself out." Tracy continued to smoulder under his glare. "I'm not pushing anything too much, okay? I'm not a baby. I don't need to be helped along every bit of the way." "Okay, I get it," he answered as she tensed further. He didn't want to push her too far, either. He already didn't know what he should do. "And no, you're not a child. But if you're having trouble with adjusting, please talk to me about it. Or LaCroix, if you don't want to talk to me. I'll make sure he knows to listen and not criticise" She didn't answer, but did calm somewhat. "Okay?" "Yeah, fine." She stood and walked off. Nick planned to go after her, but he felt a hand on his arm. The touch was unexpected, and made him momentarily forget what he was doing. Turning, he found Lauren standing next to him, her hand casually retracting. "Is she okay? I mean, I know she's not from around here, or you, for that matter." "She's still...adjusting to several things," he told her as he sat back down at his desk in defeat. "I could show you around the area a little? Just a relaxing little tour, perhaps? Tracy, too. I really wouldn't mind." Tired, Nick considered the offer. It would be so easy to accept. He needed a break. "It's a very tempting offer." He caught sight of Natalie entering the precinct. "But, I think Tracy needs the tour more than me, and maybe a friend?" Lauren's face fell a little, but she forced a smile. "Yeah, maybe I'll go ask her." Nick flashed the young woman a grin, at which he just barely saw her blush before she turned and left. As Natalie arrived, he flashed a second more sombre smile in her direction. "What was that about?" "Tracy." Natalie looked down, trying to stay composed. "Really, Nat, that's all." He could see where this was going. He didn't particularly want to discus this with her, not when there were other, more important matters. "We were just talking about Tracy, nothing more." "Are you sure?" she asked, again facing him. "Nick, I know she likes you. It's pretty obvious." "I hadn't really noticed," Nick replied, lying. He had noticed her interest, but he was doing what he could to ignore it. "Do you share her feelings?" The blunt question surprised him somewhat, but he quickly and honestly told her, "No." "Not even a little?" Natalie asked, curious. "No, not even a little. Why?" "I'm just going off your reactions, Nick. I think I have a pretty good idea what goes on in that head of yours." Before Nick could reply, she left. He was stunned by her quick departure. He really hadn't thought much about Lauren. Yes, she was helpful, but other than that...he really didn't know. What he did know was that she was more of an annoyance than a friend, however. He shook his head and turned back to his work. In Excess - (03/11) .:[ Blood covered her hands. It wasn't just on her fingers, or streaked along her skin. It shrouded every peck of the flesh. The blood warmed her cool hands, letting them touch life in its purest form. She licked the blood off, taking care to taste it all, taking care to waste none. This was what she wanted, needed. The blood sated her ever-growing hunger. That's why she had blood on her hands. Through an amber haze she saw the form of a man sitting on the ground and leaning against a brick wall. Young, probably about her age with fine light brown hair, his skin as white as hers. No heartbeat came forth from the body. He was dead, his blood taken and spilled. It lay on her hands, on his flesh, and sat pooling on the ground, mingling with the dirty pavement. He was her victim. A meal, and nothing more. Her lips twisted up into a slight smile, and then, she lifted into the cool night. ]:. Opening her eyes, Tracy breathed deeply in. Every night her dreams, nightmares, or whatever they were, kept getting worse. They were ever more detailed, ever more definite and real. She wanted away from them. She wanted free of them. The refrigerator stood in front of her outlined in a faintly golden glow. Her hunger had brought her here while still asleep, her hand resting on the door's handle. Never, even as a mortal, had she ever sleepwalked like this. Nor did she want it to again. Her disorientation had at least dulled her hunger, but she knew it would only be for a moment. Pulling the door open and grabbing a bottle, she took the cork out. The blood scent filled her senses, her hunger coming back full force. The next thing she knew, the blood was flowing down her throat. She drank the entire bottle, which had been nearly full. Even then, her hunger wasn't sated. It was still there, and what it wanted was fresher blood. And it wanted it now. Tracy set the bottle on the counter and stared at it. Maybe she was pushing herself too far. But, if she didn't push herself, what else could she do? *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Nick glanced over to his partner. He was worried. Last night he had felt something from her he couldn't quite describe. Other than the hunger, that is. As they approached the scene, he could smell blood. It was strong-- still fresh and barely cooled. He could feel that Tracy was having trouble with it. "How about you go find out what is known?" he suggested, nodding to an officer on the side. "I can deal with the victim." Tracy shook her head vigorously in defiance. "No. And I'm fine, Nick. Don't lay out what I can and cannot do. I've dealt with that enough from my father. I don't want it from you, either." She stalked off, heading toward Natalie and the body. Nick followed her, but kept his pace. He wanted to know what was up. In fact, he had gone as far as mentioning it to LaCroix over the phone when he'd waken, hoping his sire could help in this matter. Had he been this difficult to deal with? But he knew that answer. He almost wouldn't be surprised if LaCroix made him deal with this on his own. A lesson in payback for all of the trouble he'd been, that's what it would be. Coming up behind Tracy as she stopped, Nick watched her freeze and all the colour drain from her face as she stared down on the victim. The man leaned against the side of the building, shot in the chest, a puddle of blood oozing out of him. "I feel sick," Tracy whispered, turning and walking away. Nick gave a glance to Nat, and then went after Tracy. They soon arrived back at the Caddy. "What's going on?" Tracy didn't comment, merely looked away. "I just need a moment. I'll be fine. Really." Her struggled words didn't convince him. "Tell me, Tracy. Please, I don't want to push this, to force this. I will if I have to." Her eyes widened and she turned to him. "Nick...." "Tell me, Tracy." "I...it's nothing, really. Just too close to a dream I had last night, okay? I wasn't expecting it. It's nothing. I'll be fine!" As Tracy again tried to walk off, this time further from the scene, Nick reached out and grabbed her arm. "Don't touch me!" she snapped, nearly hissing, causing everyone within earshot to turn in their direction. He pulled his hand back, somewhat startled by her reaction. "Tracy," he started, but she walked off. "Tracy!" He started after her, but one of the other officers at the scene moved in his path. He glared at the mortal a moment, then turn and walked back toward Natalie, still angry. Looking up from the victim, Natalie stood and took a few steps closer to Nick. "You know, her eyes changed when she was over here. And they flashed gold when she snapped at you." Nick froze, his concern rising. "You saw?" "Yeah, I saw. I don't think anyone else did, though. I hope no one else saw." Natalie cleared her throat, and then in a slightly louder voice continued, "Where did she go, anyway?" "I don't know. She left." Then, in a whisper, he told her, "LaCroix is following her." "LaCroix was here?" He nodded. "I've been having him watch her while we're on cases, just recently. Just observing, nothing more. I told him not to interfere. I don't think he will." "Are you sure about that? I know you two are getting along better, but LaCroix is still...well, LaCroix." "I trust him not to," he said after a moment of hesitation. Then, more firmly, he stated, "He won't interfere." "You better hope not. I can see things going downhill if he does." "He won't risk it. He knows that if he hurts either you or Tracy I'll leave." Glancing away somewhat, feeling some of the officers eyes on him, he changed the subject, "Let's get this over with so I can go and find Tracy, okay?" She nodded and turned back to the victim. "Twenty nine year old Caucasian male...." *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Scanning the precinct for his newest Detectives, Elliott found Cole looking for his partner. Those two weren't doing a very good job of sticking together of late. Either Cole would disappear, only to show up unexpectedly, or Ward would do the exact same thing. More and more this man was familiar to him. He had been trying to remember how, and eventually realised it was the name--Nicholas. But he couldn't pin it down. The memory was just barely concealed. It was something important, he knew. Something he shouldn't have forgotten. But he still hadn't figured out how this man fit into it. What he did know about the memory was that he was in London. He hadn't been there for thirty years, and couldn't possibly have met Cole there. The man was too young to have been the man he met, but there was a similarity. Crossing the room, he asked the detective, "Where's Tracy?" "She's...." "Look, I know what happened at the scene. Did she say anything about where she might have gone?" "No, she didn't." Elliott glanced about the room, the open area surrounding them. "Come into my office a moment, will you?" He went back to his office and waited just inside the door. Once Cole was inside, he closed the door. "I know something's going on. Ward has been acting strange over the last several weeks. I'm not talking to her because I don't think it would do any good. You two are friends, right?" He waited, but Cole didn't respond. "Well, I figure she might respond a bit better to you than me. She's on edge, and she needs off that edge. You're the one that's going to get hurt if she doesn't." Again, Cole remained silent. "Can't you say something? I feel like I'm talking to a pole." "Sorry, I'm just not sure what to say." "For one, sign both of you off and go find her. Make sure she's all right and try to find out what's going on. Tell her she can talk to me anytime she wants and that I won't bite." He watched the detective tense. He had hoped this conversation would go smoothly, but he was getting resistance. Trying to be a little more light-hearted, he suggested, "Is there a place she likes to go? Maybe she went there. Or maybe she went home for some peace. You know her better than me." "Captain, I really think she needs a couple of days off." "I agree." "I don't want her to know it was my suggestion, though. And I don't think she'll take it well." "And...? What are you suggesting?" "That you give us both a couple of days off. I'll keep an eye on her and see if I can get her to relax a bit. See if I can find out what's bothering her." Elliott shook his head. He didn't see how that would help. "With what I heard about, I'm not sure on that. I don't think she wants you too close." "I know, but she's pushing herself too fast," Nick said, then looked away. "Pushing what too fast?" he prodded, realising the other had said more than he probably wanted to. "Everything." Nick fidgeted, feeling like this conversation was going nowhere. Calming, he continued, "Look, I think I can help, but I need a couple of days, at least. I think the time off will help. If needed, I can keep up to date through Dr. Richardson." Elliott considered the suggestion. He didn't want to allow it, considering they were undermanned. And then there was what happened that night at the crime scene to consider. But the two detectives' caseload was fairly light right now, and they *had* been pushing themselves. A break was something they could probably both use. "Very well. You have three nights off, but I want to see some improvement when you two come back. It's not a suspension, just a break." Elliott watched as his detective nodded and left, and he shook his head. He shouldn't have done that. Two days was the request, and while two would have been sufficient, he wanted his detectives back in working order. Three days would give Cole an extra day to find out what was going on. And if Cole couldn't get this figured out.... But, for some reason, he trusted this man. There was something there that was inexplicable to him. But he wouldn't probe it, not forcefully. He had a feeling that would be a mistake. In Excess - (04/11) "Get out, Nick!" Tracy half screamed, shoving him back toward the door. Nick stared back at her, not budging any further than she pushed him. He had come in through the window, aware she probably wouldn't let him in through the door. But he was starting to wonder if trying the door first would have been better. As her eyes turned amber, Tracy stated, "Just leave me alone. I can deal with this on my own! This is my apartment, so out!" She pushed him again, harder. This time, he didn't let her actions succeed. As she pushed him, he grabbed her arms and spun her. He held her in front of him as she struggled and demanded to be released. "Calm down, Tracy!" She bit him on the arm, but it only made the arms around her tighten. Nick walked across the room, Tracy firmly held in front of him. He sat down on the couch, pulling her down with him. "You have to keep calm," he told her. Seeing her begin to protest, he stated, "If you don't calm down, if you don't calm the hunger it *will* take control. You don't want it to control you, right?" She relaxed somewhat with the words. "No, I don't want it to control me." As the arms around her loosened somewhat, she leaned back into Nick. "I just want it to go away." "The hunger, describe it, Tracy." She turned in his grasp, sitting up. "But...." "Just describe it," he repeated, turning her to face him. Making herself more comfortable, Tracy turned slightly away. "It's always there. It's...it's not being satisfied by the blood, not at all. It wants fresher blood. Much fresher. That's why the scene tonight was bothering me...that and the blood on the ground and the man's position were so similar to my dream." "What does the blood taste like?" "I...all I can taste is what's in my dream. It's so full of life. It's like nothing else I've tasted. Drinking the bottled blood is so...boring, so plain." This is what he had feared, but it could be worse, he supposed. She was drinking too much blood and wanting more. "You want fresh blood. Your body is craving it." "Yes, and I'm afraid it's going to take it. I...Nick, when I woke up I was in the kitchen with my hand on the refrigerator door. I've never sleepwalked before, Nick. I'm afraid. The harder I try to control it, the worse it gets." Nick nodded. He knew that better than most. Tracy needed fresher blood. She needed it before her body told her mind to take it, whatever the cost. And then he needed to figure out what the problem actually was. Slowly, he reached up to his collar and undid the top two buttons. Tracy's eyes widened at the action, but she didn't comment until he, a moment later, pulled her closer. "Nick...I know where this is going, and I just...." "Shh, it's fine. My blood should calm your hunger, and that's what you need right now. Fresh blood." She pulled out of his grasp, backing up somewhat. "You're my partner, Nick." He had a feeling she would mention that, even though there really wasn't much reason. "I'm also both your sire and another vampire," he countered. "There is nothing wrong with taking my blood. Taking another vampire's blood is different than taking a mortal's. The guilt isn't there. The worry isn't there. Just the blood, the sweet life you so desperately want." He reached out and took hold of her shoulders, but she pulled away. "I can't, Nick." Nick then undid the cuff on his shirt and pushed the sleeve up, baring his wrist. "Take it, Tracy." Tracy stared at Nick's wrist, planning on standing and walking away, but the faint scent of his blood led her closer. Her fangs descended and sank into his wrist, pulling the life from his veins. This was what she wanted. Quickly, Nick began to feel weakened. Tracy was hungry, her body frantic for the blood, for his blood, and the life force it possessed. She relaxed, leaning closer. Holding Tracy back against him, making it easier for her to take. It was difficult not to react. Taking another vampire's blood was, after all, one of the most intimate acts their kind could have with another. Sharing blood being the only thing that surpassed it, in an intimate situation or not. While Tracy had refused to bite him on the neck, the sensation was little different. He watched as Tracy pulled away, clearly embarrassed. She must have picked up on his thoughts, his emotions. "Trace...." "Don't, Nick. It's okay. I know it's only thoughts." She tried standing, but he gripped her arm. Then, he gently pulled her slightly toward him. She let him, her head half resting against the back of the couch, and half against Nick's shoulder. "How do you feel?" Nick asked, one hand stroking her hair, trying to calm her further as she made herself more comfortable. Tracy didn't answer. After a moment, she shifted and laid down, her head now resting on his leg. "Tracy?" "Better," she mumbled. "The...the hunger's gone." With one hand, Nick rubbed her upper back, lightly massaging the muscles. Soon, Tracy was fast asleep and resting. Resting without hunger. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Slowly waking, Nick sat up to find it was the next night, roughly an hour after sunset. He had stayed up most of the day, making sure Tracy slept okay. And she had...at least until he fell asleep. But now, she was nowhere to be seen. Standing, he walked across the room. He leaned against the corner of the wall at the entrance to the hallway. He could smell blood. It was human blood, very fresh, and it made him afraid. Nick made his way down the hall, where he found Tracy curled into a foetal position in the centre of her bed. She was still wearing the clothes she had on the previous night, but there were now several fresh bloodstains. The liquid stained her jeans and her shirt, some getting on the comforter. Her hands were covered in blood, a small splotch of red dripping from the corner of her mouth. She laid still, not moving or even acknowledging his presence. Nick froze, stunned by the sight. He wasn't entirely sure what to approach this, or what it meant. "Tracy?" he called as he stepped closer. She didn't react, not even as he sat on the bed. He reached forward and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "Tracy, can you hear me?" At that, she closed her eyes and curled up more, making her form as small as possible. "What happened? Please, try to tell me." "I can't," she managed, her voice barely audible. "I won't hurt you. I just need to know so this can be dealt with." "You don't understand," she mumbled. "You can't. I...I don't remember what happened. I woke up laying here. I don't know what happened. I don't remember...." As Tracy quietly sobbed, Nick tried to comfort her. It didn't work, though, her muscles only stiffening with his touch. Brushing the back of his hand against her check, he asked, "Will you be all right for a moment? I'll be back soon. I can bring you something to drink if you want?" "I'm not hungry. Not at all." "And you'll be okay?" he again asked. Receiving a slow nod, he cautiously left, going into the living room. He paced the length of the room several times, and then went to the phone. Picking it up, he dialled the Blue Moon. Getting the bartender, he asked for LaCroix. A moment later, he heard the phone being picked up again. "LaCroix?" "What's wrong now, Nicholas?" "Don't mock me. This could be a serious problem. Tracy...well, she's here, covered in blood." Nick paused, closing his eyes. "She could have killed a mortal." "And what do you want me to do?" Nick shifted his weight to one foot, and then the other. "I'm going to calm her down some more, see if I can find out exactly what happened, and then bring her to your apartment." "This is not my problem." "I don't want to leave her alone. Please, just help me on this, okay? I...don't want to possibly have to kill her. I wouldn't be able to." "Even if she endangers us?" "I couldn't, LaCroix. Please, just help me with this. I'll be there as soon as I can." Nick hung up before the other could reply, hoping his sire would, indeed, help him. He really wasn't sure on this one. Going back to Tracy's room, he found her just as he had left her. But it was clear she'd heard the conversation. "What happens if I killed someone?" He didn't want to deal with that question. Not unless he it became absolutely necessary. "Do you think you did?" "I don't know." She looked up at him. "I honestly don't remember. I fell asleep on the couch, and then woke up in here. I...I can smell the blood. And...I'm not hungry. Not at all. But I wasn't before, even when I fell asleep." "Give me your wrist." He watched as Tracy shook her head. "I'm not going to take much and the feeling of being drained isn't as strong when the blood is taken from the wrist." His words didn't seem to help. He hadn't wanted to make her afraid, but it'd be easier in the end. "Tracy, if you don't let me, LaCroix *will* force it. And he won't be gentle." Tracy gradually extended her arm, closing her eyes and Nick took hold of it. She closed them even tighter as Nick's teeth bit into her. A few swallows of the blood was all he needed to know roughly what happened. That, and how the man had died...and how very hungry Tracy had been waking. Closing his eyes, he felt LaCroix nearby--not right outside, but within a few streets. "So...? Did I?" Nick stiffened at the question. He wanted to know what LaCroix found, if anything, before saying anything. "Get cleaned up and changed, Tracy." "Nick...." "Now, Tracy!" he hissed, his eyes turning faintly golden. In Excess - (05/11) Nick walked into the Blue Moon, holding Tracy protectively in front of him. It was mostly so she wouldn't stray and to warn others away. A short distance in, he found Michael talking to another. "Is LaCroix in his office?" "Yeah, he's waiting." Nick gave the younger vampire a slight nod, then headed for the office. Knocking, he was granted entry, and he opened the door and followed Tracy in. LaCroix remained sitting at his desk, the expression on his face making Tracy wince and move back. Nick held her in place, sensing her fear. "Did you find anything?" he asked LaCroix, momentarily wishing he had called the other before coming over. Tracy tensed. Yes, she had killed someone--otherwise, there would be nothing to look for. "A man was killed about six blocks from her apartment. He was drained by one of us, without much care. His wounds were not hidden and there was more blood on the ground than left in he body." Tracy pulled further back, her muscles half trying to free herself from Nick's grasp and half trying to hide in it. In the end, she settled for something in between before she finally managed a weak, "Was it me?" "How should I know!," LaCroix hissed. "It was a vampire, and that's only based on appearances." Standing, he approached Tracy. LaCroix then told her, whispering in her ear, "Appearances can be deceiving-- something you should be aware of!" "I don't think she killed him, LaCroix. Took the man's blood, yes. He might have still been alive, but if so, he was nearly dead at the time. He would have died whatever the case." "That does not matter. Either way, the wounds should have been disguised." LaCroix' eyes locked firmly with his son's. "Nicholas, I would like to speak with you for a moment." He then turned his focus to Tracy. "Alone." Nick felt Tray tense under his sire's glare. "Tracy, wait in the club. I'll be there in a moment." Once she did as told and the door was closed, he waited for LaCroix to say something. "In a moment, Nicholas?" LaCroix hissed. "And just what do you think we will be discussing?" "Tracy. LaCroix, I've never been very good with the hunger. I'm not the right person to teach her." "I think you know what I think of her. She is undisciplined and spoiled." "And I'm not helping that any." Nick paused, facing away. "I'm asking, requesting, that you help her for me." "She is your child, not mine. It is not my responsibility," he said, satisfied now that he had said what he wanted to mention to his son. For a moment, Nick listened to the room's silence. When LaCroix started for the door, he turned. "I know that. I just...I really don't know how to deal with her. At a guess, I'd say she's a lot like me. Please...at least help her with the hunger. I would do nothing but destroy her." "And I may proceed in any way that I see fit?" Nick glanced down. But, after a few seconds, he nodded. "Any way, Nicholas? And you will accept it?" "I will accept it only if it does more good than harm." "I will help her under two conditions. One--she stays here with me. And two--you will do anything I say." Although unsure of the second, Nick nodded. "I'll send her in and you can explain matters to her. I recommend you share blood to strengthen your bond with her. It should also allow you to get a better sense of what happened tonight." LaCroix turned toward the door. "She will need to be punished for endangering us. Make sure she understands that." Nick closed his eyes and nodded, keeping his eyes clenched shut until the door slammed shut. He paced the room for several minutes, eventually settling into LaCroix' chair behind the desk. Just as he had done so, the door opened and Tracy entered, a bit shaken. He waited for her to close the door before speaking. "What did LaCroix tell you?" "That...I'll be staying with him." Focusing on her, it was obvious to him she didn't like the idea. "Why?" Tracy asked, but Nick didn't answer her. "Because of what happened, right? Because you wish you hadn't even brought me over, perhaps?" "Tracy...." "It is that, isn't it?" "No, it isn't...not the second. It has to do with your hunger. I'm not the best person to learn from about that, and I want this to be as easy for you to deal with as possible. I've already done what I can, before." "Nick, you're eight hundred years old. You've had centuries of practice. You're the second eldest vampire in this city!" "And that doesn't matter!" he almost shouted standing, his eyes gently glowing amber. Then, turning his gaze down, to the desk, he continued, "It's there. It always is. I'm barely in control of my own hunger at the moment. I've never been good at controlling it, Tracy." "But, I trust you, Nick. I don't trust myself. If I killed that man, I murdered him." "The hunger killed him for his blood. Your body needed the fresh blood and he was nearly dead before you attacked him. He would have died tonight whether or not you had drained him. I've..." he trailed off, not finishing his thought. "What? You've killed? So? Times were different, there wasn't the bottled blood there is now. There--" He shook his head, his expression becoming hard and rigid. "Tracy, I've slaughtered whole families and not remembered the taste of even a drop of their blood. My hunger pushes me to kill, and I don't want it to be that way for you. LaCroix can help you with this. I can't because...I never really learned. Not properly." "I'm afraid, Nick. I'm afraid of what I am, and I'm...afraid of LaCroix. I know I endangered us. I'll take whatever punishment I get for that. I just...I'm afraid of what will happen to me." Tears started to form and she looked down. She couldn't help it. Nick walked over to Tracy, and then pulled her chin up so she was looking at him. "LaCroix won't be cruel. Harsh, yes, but not cruel. It's better this way, overall. To begin with, it's only temporary. And besides, I didn't turn out too bad, did I?" Tracy managed a smile. "No, I guess not." "And, anyway, LaCroix wants my help, so I'll be there. It'll be fine." She smiled, but it disappeared as he retreated from her. "Will you stay? Just for today? I mean, I assume he's going to want me staying here, I'm just...I'm really not comfortable around him." Although he didn't particularly want to, he nodded. Right now, it was more important that he stayed with Tracy than talk to Natalie. Besides, he wasn't particularly looking forward to that conversation. "Come on, we'll go get some things from your place," he said as he gestured toward the door. Tracy absently nodded, and together, they left. In Excess - (06/11) Shifting his position on LaCroix' couch, Nick couldn't keep his thoughts off Tracy. She was in the spare room--which LaCroix had actually prepared for him if he happened to be there past sunrise--so he had taken the couch, allowing Tracy his room. He shifted once again. It wasn't that it was uncomfortable...but he had other thoughts on his mind. Tracy, mainly. She was having trouble sleeping, likely uneasy with having LaCroix so close by. About to give up on sleeping, he spotted Tracy entering the room. "You should be resting, Tracy." "I can't. I don't know why, but I'm afraid. LaCroix...I'm afraid he'll do something." Nick got up and approached her in slow strides. "Is it because his room is right there?" "Partially. I just...I feel so exposed. And so confused.... I still don't know what happened. I killed that man." Nick clenched his jaw. He wasn't sure if she had or not. The man had been extremely close to death when he'd been drained, possibly even died before Tracy would have killed him. Or, at least that's the impression he got. LaCroix wasn't saying one way or the other. "That's still up in the air." "I know I killed him, Nick. I just don't know how to deal with it." "Which is why I want LaCroix to help you. Still, even now, I don't know how to truly deal with the guilt that comes with killing. But you can't let it get to you." He forced a slight smile, and then held the side of her face with his hand. "There's a lot more to being a vampire than what you've read. But you'll do fine. Now, go see about getting some rest, okay?" She looked down, but hesitated to leave. "What is it, Tracy?" She clenched her jaw. She couldn't ask. "Nothing. Nothing, it's--" She stopped when his other hand touched her face. The touch was so very.... "Nick...." "You wanted to ask me something." "Yes. I was going to ask...ask if you would stay with me in my room." Tracy pulled away. "But I'm not sure that's a good idea." "Why not?" "Because...." Tracy stood up. Then, softly, she told him, "Because I'm hungry, and because your blood, I...I want more, but, I'm.... Nick, I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid--" "You're afraid it was my blood that--" "No! No...I mean, well, yes, but it's not how you think. I mean, I'm sure that if I hadn't had your blood, I'm afraid I would have ripped that man to pieces." "But?" "I saw and felt things in your blood." "And?" "And I never thought...never knew what you have done until earlier tonight. You've done things much worse than.... When you mentioned having killed whole families, I flashed on it. I guess what I'm afraid is that I'll do something like that." "Which is why I asked LaCroix to help. You have to listen to him. I didn't and I still have trouble with the hunger. I'll stay with you, if you'd like?" Tracy shook her head. "No. No, it's okay. I...I really should try to sleep some more." *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. That night, Nick left long enough to change clothes and bring some things from both his place and Tracy's. And upon returning to LaCroix', Nick had found Tracy on the floor in the kitchen with a nasty jagged wound on her neck. When she looked up at him, her eyes were bright gold. A very hungry bright gold. "She did kill him, Nicholas," LaCroix said, stepping up behind his son. "And he fought her--he was not weak." Nick turned to face his sire. "No comment?" Nick glanced back to his partner. "No, no comment." He turned back to LaCroix. He was somewhat angry the other had done this without at least him there, without telling him. But it was probably for the best. If this was all the punishment she would get...assuming this was all, that is...then he wouldn't complain. LaCroix had done worse to him on occasion. "You have something to say, Nicholas?" "Only that I would like to know what else you have planned." "If she is going to kill mortals, she at least needs to at least learn to take greater care doing so." LaCroix smiled. "And that is where you will be able to help, Nicholas." "And how is that?" "You will be the...mortal." LaCroix chuckled slightly at his son's faint discomfort. "Unless you would rather that she practises on mortals...? That could be arranged." "You aren't going to let her feed, are you?" "No. Her hunger must be managed. And she will learn to control it, no matter how long it takes." LaCroix walked around Nick and over to the counter. He picked a pocketknife up off the counter. Turning to Tracy, he commanded, "Get up." Reluctantly, Tracy did as she was told, eyeing the knife and wondering what it was for. "Can't we wait? I-I want--" "We will start this *now*." LaCroix held the knife out to her. "Take it." Tracy did so. At least she was the one with the knife. But she didn't need a knife to take Nick's blood.... "What do I need to do?" "That you will have to learn." "Then what am I supposed to do." "You will take Nicholas' blood, and disguise the wound. First, you will need to drain him, enough to kill a mortal. And then you will use the knife to hide the wound." "I...I can't do that. I can't do that to him." "You must. It is a consequence of killing in this time. And as I seriously doubt the man you killed will be your only victim, I suggest you learn how to disguise your kills well because I will not defend you to the Enforcers. Nicholas may, but I am growing tired of the inconveniences his children have cause me of late." Tracy swallowed. If Enforcers caught her, LaCroix basically just stated that he could care less if they killed her. Great. Talk about encouragement. "Okay." "Nicholas...remember that you're playing a mortal. Fight back only to a point." His expression turning serious and icy cold, he turned his gaze on Tracy. "Now, attack him." Tracy looked to her partner, meeting his eyes. Nick wasn't just her partner, but her sire, her...father in a way. How was she supposed to do this to him, even if he was prepared for it? "I-I--" "Nicholas, turn around." Once his son had done so, LaCroix stepped behind Tracy and gave her a shove forward. "You must not hesitate. You must not!" Tracy walked slowly forward, but stopped just out of reach of Nick. "Do it, now, or you will fend for yourself. I will not help you. And neither will Nicholas." He watched her tense--along with his son--but it had the desired effect. She now had a reason to continue forward, and she did just that. In a matter of seconds, Tracy had disabled the would-be mortal and struck, taking the blood. It was so very sweet.... And in a few short moments she had drained Nick into unconsciousness. She sank to the floor, the knife dropping to the linoleum as she held Nick against her. She couldn't do what LaCroix wanted. "You are *weak*. You are weak because you see familiarity and you break. You see the mortals as something you were, something you are. You are not mortal. And we do not die. You are feeling guilt for something you have no reason to feel guilt for." LaCroix stepped forward, pulling Tracy's hands away from his son. "Look at the wound!" Tracy did so, the impression of not only her fangs but also her teeth obvious. It was more than clear that, if Nick had been mortal, something human-like had killed him. "You must be able to hide it. You cannot hide this wound without drawing attention to the fact that that is exactly what you are doing. You must have control enough to know what you are doing. You do not." The comment struck Tracy so hard she released Nick fully and his limp body slid to the floor. LaCroix was right that she didn't know what she was doing. She hadn't even remembered killing someone. She wasn't even sure if she only killed one person, or if perhaps there were others. "Get up. And you will go to Nicholas' room and stay there until either myself or Nicholas comes." Tracy gave a glance to Nick, who was still very much out, then left the kitchen. She felt like leaving the apartment altogether. But the thought of what she had done the night before stopped her. She had to stay because of her fear. In Excess - (07/11) Nick slowly awoke, only to find LaCroix pulling him to his feet. Once standing, he didn't release his sire's arm. "She's worse than you with the guilt. She better hope that she doesn't kill again." "Worse?" Nick asked, still a bit dazed. "She has a problem with the whole concept of taking blood from another. Doesn't matter whether it's a mortal or a vampire. Perhaps that's why she blocked out the man she killed? She can't handle it." "You don't like her much, do you, LaCroix?" "You know I don't. Whatever the case, neither of us can protect her forever. And that is especially important in this time. I will do what I can to protect her this time, but this is the last time, Nicholas. The very last time." "And?" "And I suggest you make her see that. She's too much like you, Nicholas." LaCroix pulled away and started for the door. "You see and know what I know. You know how this must be." Several seconds later, when LaCroix hadn't yet left, Nick asked, "You're not going to help, are you?" "I think you know that I cannot. For the most part, she will have to learn on her own, as you did. But she must learn quickly. She can stay here for now." Nick set his jaw as the other left. He then went to the counter and picked up the bottle that LaCroix had set out. He nearly set it down, but it wasn't a matter of wanting it. He needed blood now, if only a little. He pulled down a glass and filled it halfway with the blood. He drank it quickly, and then about to leave, he hesitated. Just what was he supposed to tell Tracy? Putting the glass down, he left the kitchen and went to his room, where Tracy had obviously been sent to wait. He knocked on the door, and then, without a response, he pushed the door open. "Tracy?" "I heard what he said to you." "And?" "I don't know what to do. I'm a cop, Nick! I shouldn't have a problem with this." "Why shouldn't you?" Nick approached. "You were a cop first, Tracy. You were a cop before you even knew about vampires. You have the message that it's not okay to kill ingrained as deep as it can get." "Which means I can't kill. But I have." "And if you let it bother you, it will only get worse." Tracy nodded. She knew this. She had been told this several times already. But...how was it supposed to help her? "So what do I do?" "You accept it. You accept what you are and make a conscious effort to not kill. That's all you can do." "And if I do?" "You accept that, too." "Do you?" Tracy became nervous when he looked away. "I mean, accept that you've killed?" "I...try, sometimes more than others. But don't compare yourself to me. However much we are alike, we are also different." Nick turned and faced the door. "You're not going to help either, are you?" Nick closed his eyes. LaCroix had hit it right on when he mentioned about them both knowing. He didn't like it, but this was the way it was. "No. No, I'm afraid that isn't an option. I...can't help. I would if I could." "And?" "And LaCroix' right. You must learn on your own and you must learn quickly. And that is something I cannot help with." "You learned." "Yes, I did, but I didn't have the problems you have. Best I can suggest is to focus on the present and sleep a dreamless sleep." Nick nearly left, then suggested, "Perhaps ask LaCroix to ensure that, if you're worried." Tracy felt panic run through her as Nick went for the door. "Nick, wait...." When he turned back to her, she realised she didn't know what to say. "Uh, are you...er, okay?" "I'm fine." "Will you stay?" "Yes, I'll stay. But not in here. And LaCroix isn't your enemy." Tracy opened her mouth to say something, but Nick had already left. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Nick's eyes snapped open when he felt a light touch on his cheek. "You haven't had enough blood since--" "I'm fine, LaCroix." "You are not 'fine', Nicholas." LaCroix sat on the couch next to his son. With a faint, almost reluctant smile, he held out his wrist. "Drink, Nicholas. It will be good for you to have fresh blood for a change." "I don't want it." "You should taste it. If only to taste the remnants of your child's emotions. You may have tasted her blood, but you did nothing to feel it, to feel her thoughts and feelings on this." Nick looked away and closed his eyes. "Do you really think she will simply tell you everything?" Quickly looking back, Nick's eyes widened. LaCroix had a point on that. He certainly hadn't always told LaCroix everything. In fact, he was agreeing with LaCroix far more than he would like to. "You need blood, Nicholas." When the younger made no move toward his wrist, LaCroix exhaled and made to stand only to be pulled backward. Nick pulled the other back toward him, gripping LaCroix' neck and shoulder tightly. "What did you see in her blood? Tell me." "Find out for yourself. Either take my blood or take hers." Nick closed his eyes, but didn't release LaCroix. He couldn't very well take Tracy's blood. For one, LaCroix had already done that tonight, and for another it might just make her worse. "Fine," he hissed, fangs down. And hearing a faint laugh from the other, he added, "And I'm not going to let you enjoy this." LaCroix' eyes shot wide open when his son's fangs sliced into his neck. He smiled despite the other's deliberate actions to make this uncomfortable for him. Even once Nick had drunk all he needed, he continued in an attempt to find out more. But he only got two things. One was that Tracy was still very afraid to have her blood taken. And the other was how alike humans and vampires were. And having it together like this, something hit him--this was more complicated than he initially thought. He pulled back only to catch sight of a wide-eyed Tracy, and it was clear she had been standing there for a bit. "Tracy..." "Nevermind. I'll, I'm...ah...." Tracy turned around and headed back to Nick's room. Nick winced and gave a glance to LaCroix before following after Tracy. Going into the room, he watched Tracy start to gather up her things. "What are you doing?" "Neither of you get it. Neither of you understand." Setting his jaw, Nick told her, seriously, "I understand more than you might think." "Then how can you do that to him? You were purposely trying to cause him discomfort, you--" "And he's a vampire, Tracy. Just like me, just like you." Tracy continued to gather her things into a pile on the bed. "We're different from mortals." "It doesn't feel any different. It's frightening. And--" "And when you think of the mortals, of the man you killed, you think about what he was thinking at the time. And then the panic starts to set in. The disbelief." Tracy stopped. "Having another vampire drink your blood is far different." "It wasn't for me." Tracy looked down on the pile of clothes. "But it is different?" "Yes. And you have to think about this. You are not human. And even if your blood is being taken, it does not instantly mean you are the victim." "And the man I killed?" "What's done is done. You just have to...accept that your life is different." "It is different." Slowly, she turned. "I've actually been thinking a lot about that. Maybe...maybe I shouldn't be a cop. I mean, it's a bit...contradictive. Vampire cop." Nick managed a smile. "Yes, it is." "I guess maybe it works for you because it serves a purpose. You've done things that you'd like to try and make up for. But me...I don't have that. Nor do I want to have it. I want to work for a different reason." "Are you saying you aren't going back to work?" "No. I'm just saying that maybe in the future I should try other things. And maybe I should try other things now, too? I really don't know...." She looked up and focused solidly on Nick. "Like?" "Well...one of my problems if having my blood taken. But then, I haven't exactly had much good experience regarding that.... I mean, since I've been brought over, when LaCroix took my blood that was about the only time...." "LaCroix isn't necessarily...gentle." "That's for sure." Confused, given Tracy's example didn't really match up with the previous subject, Nick asked, "Where are you going with this?" "You don't seem to have much trouble with it. I mean...I drained you and I didn't feel much panic. And before when I took your blood it didn't bother you. And then just now, ah, well...." Nick met her gaze. He had an idea of what she was going to ask. "You want me to take your blood, to drink from you." "Yes." Tracy took a step closer. "Will you?" "If you believe it will help you. If and only if." "I do." Nick nodded, but stepped back. "I...need a moment to think about this." Leaving the room, he nearly ran into LaCroix as he went into the kitchen. "Why do you need time, Nicholas?" Nick nearly told LaCroix to mind his own business, but considering he was the one that persuaded LaCroix to attempt to help him, he doubted that would go over well. "Or are you just trying to stall...." "I'm worried this isn't a good idea." "I think it's a good idea, really." LaCroix smirked. "Whether or not it will really help, she seems to think it will. Perhaps that will be enough to set her focus straight." "And?" "And you know first hand how powerful personal belief can be...." "I'll consider it." Nick turned. "I'll be back before sunrise." In Excess - (08/11) Returning to LaCroix' home near dawn, Nick went straight to the kitchen and got himself a glass of blood. "Natalie called," LaCroix mentioned, watching his son. "And then she came by." Nick lowered his glass just as he was about to take a drink. "What did you tell her?" "That you would explain this to her later." Nick could see the other's grin. "Are you having fun annoying me?" "Yes, actually." "And Tracy?" "She asked where you went. But she's still here. And I think I see the problem." "You do?" "I've been watching her. She is drinking far more blood than she should and far more often. You were right to worry about that." "How much?" "Suffice it to say more than both of us combined." LaCroix turned toward the door, only to turn back to his son and say, "It's probably why she killed the mortal. She woke, hungry and disoriented, and did what instinct demanded." With that, LaCroix left. Nick finished his glass, and then somewhat hesitantly went to his room, where Tracy had closed herself in. He knocked on the door, and being told to enter, he turned the knob and entered. "How much did you hear?" "Most of it." Tracy turned away from Nick, remaining curled up on the bed. "He's probably right." "About why you killed the mortal?" "Yes. I...I suppose one of the reasons I've had so much blood is because I was afraid something might happen. I always want it, and a little extra every now and then seemed to help. But all I was doing was feeding my wants, making things worse, wasn't I? With more blood, I merely wanted more...but I couldn't let myself have it." "And then you killed. And since it didn't match with what you intended, you somehow blocked it out." Nick exhaled. "And if that is the case...." Trailing off, Nick turned and started for the door. Tracy sat up and swivelled to face her partner's fleeing form, which stopped at her action. "Please stay. I would still like you to....uh, do what I had asked about...." "I'm not sure that would be wise," Nick told her, not turning. "If you are going to cut down your blood intake--which will be necessary-- this could only make that harder." "I'd rather you do it now, while I'm off for a few days...than later. It might be easier...and I won't have to worry much about killing anyone for a few days, either." Nick slowly turned to face a Tracy, who smiled faintly, hesitantly. "You're afraid," he stated, voice stern. Setting her jaw, Tracy told him, "What does that matter? Some fear is good, isn't it?" "But you are afraid of more than you should be. You are afraid of not only another vampire taking your blood, but you're afraid of me taking it. I can see it." He paused, taking a step closer. "Worse, you're afraid it will make your hunger worse." "And it's irrational. I know that." Nick shook his head. "That's the problem. It's not irrational. Not the fear itself. How much you fear it, however, is. And you are too afraid. So afraid you're trying to block it. You fear killing again, to the point that your other fears are taking over." "Couldn't the feelings, the worry just be from drinking too much blood? Could it be feeding the fear just like it is the hunger?" Nick let out a breath. "It could be." "I want you to do this, Nick. Maybe it will help." "And maybe it won't." "But it's worth it, isn't it? I mean, the fear I have for that is just irrational, isn't it?" "No, it's not irrational. And it is dangerous to view it as such." After several seconds of silence, Tracy protested, "But you're not afraid." "No, I'm not. Not now." "But you were?" Nick didn't answer. He couldn't think of a way of describing it. Yes, it was fear. But at the same time it wasn't fear, not exactly. "You don't want to take my blood, do you?" Nick met Tracy's eyes, holding her gaze. He shook his head. "But you will?" Tracy waited, but he remained silent. "Nick?" He shook his head. "You must first learn to control your hunger." Nick turned and walked to the door, then told her, "You must also accept what you have done. It can't be changed." With that, Nick slipped out of the room and closed the door. Almost immediately he leaned against the hall wall, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. "Children can be stubborn, can't they?" Nick stiffened at the whisper just inches from his ear, moving unconsciously away even before he opened his eyes. "You're wondering if she's right, aren't you?" LaCroix asked, his tone calm and serious. "Is she?" LaCroix smiled and turned. Nick's eyes narrowed. The other was clearly close to laughing at him. "Don't play games, LaCroix." "You are the parent, Nicholas." LaCroix spun, his expression solidly serious. "You are the one that must decide." "I'm asking your advice!" LaCroix' expression turned into an odd smile. "I know what you are asking." He paused, then took in a breath and answered, "You made the correct choice, Nicholas." LaCroix stepped to the far side of his son, then gently guided him to face the kitchen. "Come, Nicholas. You are becoming tense and should relax." Nick accepted the light push toward the kitchen, but walked slowly down the hall. He hated the idea that LaCroix agreed with him, and worse, that he was glad. But that was why he had come here, isn't it? He had brought Tracy here for essentially the sole purpose of knowing LaCroix' opinions on what was happening with her. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Early the next night, Nick watched LaCroix put the phone down as he approached the living room, where LaCroix sat next to the phone. "Why did you hang up on her?" "Because it will distract Tracy further." "She's only concerned that something is wrong." "And I do not want her over here as long as Tracy is to remain here." Nick tensed. "You wanted her gone when she went back to work. You've expressed nothing but dislike. But now you are going to let her stay here?" "She may stay longer if she wishes. I will...ensure she restricts her blood intake." LaCroix leaned back into the couch. "I will do this, but only if she wishes." "And if I approve." "Of course." Tracy came out into the hall having just recently awakened, and when Nick turned to her, she tiredly asked, "What are you two talking about?" "LaCroix has volunteered to let you stay here and help you." LaCroix abruptly stood up, responding, "I will only assist in restricting her blood intake if she is willing to work hard at it." Tracy stopped just short of Nick. She could see into the main room where LaCroix stood, eyes slightly gold, clearly still angry at the way Nick had volunteered him. "So you're going to help me?" "Only if you do *exactly* as I say." Tracy instantly nodded. If there were any chance of this helping, she would take it. She didn't want the alternative. If she killed again, and especially if she did so multiple times, she would be nothing but a hazard to Nick, LaCroix, and the entire existence of vampires. "Then I will." LaCroix set his jaw, straightening. "Then you will start by returning to your room." Tracy was a bit stunned. "But I always have--" "You will wait a few more minutes tonight. Feeding as soon as you wake may assuage your hunger, but it also makes you unaccustomed to it. You will wait and reacquaint yourself with it." Tracy didn't move. "Now." LaCroix' eyes flashed a brighter shade of gold for a second before returning to an icy blue. He watched her head down the hall, at which he turned to his son. "I think you should leave." "Leave?" Nick was stunned at the suggestion. It was contrary to what LaCroix had told him before. And yet helping Tracy was, as well. "Why?" "I think it would be better if she didn't have you worrying over her. Or possibly countering my 'help'." He smiled faintly. "I assure you that she will not be harmed or otherwise treated in a manner which you would disapprove." "Why have you changed your mind?" "I have not. After this, I will not do this again...especially not by covering up any kills." Nick caught the other's arm as LaCroix first approached and then tried to walk around him. "You covered--" "Something had to be done. I did what I could at the time. It still might be discovered." He pulled his arm free. "Now, there is the matter of you leaving." Nick hesitated, neither replying nor moving. "Leave, or she leaves." Without a word, Nick gave LaCroix a slight nod, and then proceeded to do as told. In Excess - (09/11) "Hey Nick! Captain said he wants to see you about something." Nick turned to Lauren, and nodded. But she didn't leave. "Do you need something else?" "Ah, well...I was also wondering if you were going to the Halloween party with anyone?" Nick's jaw just dropped. It was still early October, and he hadn't even thought about the upcoming precinct Halloween party. Nor had he really expected Lauren to say anything to him about it, really. "I know it's a bit abrupt, but--" "He's going with me," Natalie said as she approached and stepped closer. "Oh...." Lauren walked off blushing. "Aren't you?" "I actually wasn't planning on going." Nick smiled, a bit surprised at Natalie's quick appearance, but he was very grateful for Lauren leaving. "Thank you for that." "You looked like the proverbial deer caught in a car's headlights." "Felt like it, too." Nick picked a pen up, twisted it around a few times, and then abruptly asked, "What are you doing here?" "Something I wanted to tell you about, but LaCroix kept hanging up on me when I called before I could tell him. The first time I at least got that you were having a bit of a problem with Tracy and that you would explain later.... By the way, where is she?" Nick sighed. "It's LaCroix' doing." "What?" "Tracy. She's...having trouble with the hunger, drinking too much blood." Nick paused, not wanting to say the rest, but aware he would have to. Dropping his voice to a faint whisper, he explained, "Nat, she killed a man. I took her to LaCroix to try and figure out why, if he'd be able to help. And he's doing what he can. He is having her take a couple of more days off work." "Well then." Natalie pursed her lips. "I guess the news that I got a body at the morgue that I think was killed by one of us is a bit old," she said in a whisper. "That's actually why I'm here, Nick. Or I think, anyway. Captain asked me to come over. His...voice was a bit odd. I think something's up, and I'm afraid it might have a lot to do with the guy on my table." Nick set his jaw, but nodded. Then they headed toward Elliott's office. Nick knocked on the open door, and then entered once they were asked to go in. "You wanted to see us?" "Close the door, Nick." Nick did so, and when the other didn't say anything more, he prodded, "Captain?" Elliott wasn't sure how to start this. He'd considered saying nothing, but he wanted and needed to know what was going on. His memories from the past had been solidifying. He remembered enough that he knew he had indeed met this man before. And he knew who Detective Cole was. But it was so long ago.... "Captain?" Nick again asked, taking a step closer. He didn't like the look of the other's face. It was like he was remembering.... Even the mortal's stance was unnerving to him. Elliott looked directly at the other. He really didn't have much choice, he needed to know. He remembered the name of the man from his memories--Nicholas de Brabant. Their accident had made quite an impression on his memory, although it had taken some time before he was sure the Nicholas from his memory was the same Nicholas that was now working for him. But what had cinched it was the name and picture of yet another man he had discovered in the past week. Yet another last name, but the same man, it had to be. This time from Toronto. And he didn't look any different now than when he had either arrived there or when he'd met him in London. "Is, uh, this about the man found out by the lake?" Natalie asked tentatively, wondering where the other's thoughts were straying. Elliott's attention switched quickly to Natalie. "No. No, not really," he said. Then, Elliott started shaking his head, almost as if he was unsure. After a moment, he stopped, saying, "You two know each other pretty well, right?" "I suppose you could say that," Natalie quickly answered, wondering where this was going. What did he know? Something, but what, exactly? Did he, could he, possibly know what they were? "And you moved here from Toronto?" "Ah...." Natalie looked up at Nick. That wasn't in their records, she didn't think...it couldn't be, as by those they had come from Winnipeg. But how did Elliott know they had lived in Toronto? How did he find out? "I remember reading about some cases of yours from Toronto. I've even seen your picture, just a few days ago. And then the names...I went back and checked, and there it was." He paused, his attention shifting primarily toward Nick. "You're Nicholas Knight. Or perhaps Brabant is even closer. Remember London? 1967 outside that bank? I recognise you sure enough. And Dr. Richardson is Dr. Lambert from Toronto, isn't she? First name, job, and then linked to you, Nick...." Tired, Nick closed his eyes. He didn't need this, not now. Natalie just stood there, stunned, expecting Nick to do something. But he didn't. And she didn't know how to handle a situation like this. "So it is you, isn't it?" Elliott leaned slightly forward. "It is. I'm sure of it more now than when I saw the photograph of you, of Knight." Nick opened his eyes and met the Captain's firmly. "And?" "And I'm curious. I'm not demanding anything in particular, just a bit curious. It's not normal for a man to not age, Detective." "Curiosity is something that should sometimes be left alone." Elliott nodded. "I can understand that. I do want to know at least one thing, though. Does what you are have anything to do with the dead man in the morgue?" Natalie started to lightly tremble. He knew. She knew it right then that he knew, and far more than just who they were in Toronto. More than that Nick didn't seem to age. He knew what they were. She could see it. Elliott glanced away from the two for a moment. He didn't want to keep going around in circles. "Vampire-like murders and vampire- like...ah, behaviour goes hand in hand, doesn't it? And victims of vampires mean what? Assuming you don't have a lunatic out there...vampires." "What are you saying?" Nick asked, surprised at the sheer ease with which Elliott seemed to accept this. The other clearly knew what they were, it seemed. And yet Elliott wasn't in the slightest frightened by the fact. But just where was he going with this? Leaning back a bit, Elliott's lips curved into a very slight smile. He was starting to get a bit nervous. After all, he really hadn't considered what these two could or would do to him. "I've seen a bit more than you wanted, I think, particularly at some of the crime scenes. And it just clicked, especially when I recalled having met you, Nick. And then the few cases I reread of yours...it just all made it click." "And you're bringing this up now because...?" "I have to ask, Nick. I think you know both why and what--I don't want my trust of you to backfire or create more problems." When Nick didn't answer, he flatly stated, "What you are, vampires...your kind doesn't exactly have a good reputation." Nick stiffened. "We don't kill." "And your partner? I'm sure she's also like you. I've seen her eyes, for one." "We don't kill," Nick repeated. The lie was simple, and his only choice if Tracy wished to remain. And it would likely go unnoticed as long as Tracy didn't kill again. "That's nice to know. In fact, that's the whole reason I even brought this up. It makes me feel a bit better about what I'm going to do next." Elliott picked a piece of paper up off his desk and held it out to Nick. Nick glanced at the paper, but the only thing on it was an address. "The detectives that got the case were taken off. It took a bit of explaining to their Captain, but I think it's better this way. I want you to take this one. Considering we don't see too many cases like this and I doubt anything will be discovered whether it's looked into or not, I want you to gloss this over if a...ah, vampire killed her." "Her?" Natalie asked, a bit surprised. The victim she had in the morgue was a man...but then, those wounds weren't immediately noticeable, were they? Elliott apparently had no idea a vampire had killed him. But another death? "Yeah, the scene's still fresh, and I want both of you down there. And remember--if, and only if. Dismissed." Natalie looked to Nick, then left. Just barely to the door, Nick stopped when Elliott said his name. "Captain?" "We never had this conversation. Got that?" Nick nodded. Walking outside and closing the door behind him, Nick walked silently over to his desk, still somewhat stunned. "Uh, Nick? Are you as lost as I am?" "Probably." Nick then left the building, heading for his car to head to the scene as ordered. Natalie, followed, getting into Nick's car. Once they were on the road, she stated, her concern obvious, "He figured it out, Nick." "Well, we weren't too careful, were we? Same jobs, moving to a large city.... Doesn't help that I've met him before." Nick then proceeded to leave the building, and once both he and Natalie were outside and well out of any mortals' hearing range, he stated, "LaCroix isn't going to protect her after this. Not from her own mistakes. He almost didn't help this time." "Are you going to tell LaCroix about this? About the Captain knowing what we are?" "No. No, I think it best not to tell him. Or Tracy, for that matter. Especially Tracy. Not yet, anyway. I'll...talk to the Captain later. For now he seems to be accepting of what we are. But I'm not sure it's safe to stay given his knowledge. And I don't think it's a good idea for Tracy to know we've been discovered until after other matters are under more control." Natalie slowly nodded. Neither of them was comfortable with what they had just been told, but if Nick wanted this kept silent. "What happened, exactly? With Tracy?" "She killed a man," he simply stated. "A few nights ago I stayed over at her place for the day because she was having trouble with the hunger. Not long after sunset, I woke and smelt blood. Tracy was there, blood on her. She didn't remember what happened. She didn't remember killing. She blocked it out. But she's had dreams. Dreams where she's killed. Dreams that have made her crave blood more than she should." "Do you think she's killed more than the once?" "No. No, that time was different. Like I said, she didn't remember it. The dreams she at least remembered." Looking away for a moment, Nick eventually turned back to Natalie and asked, "Have you...had any dreams like that? Of killing or taking blood? Or have you woken up hungry, sleepwalked, anything odd?" Natalie stiffened. "I've had dreams. But you have too, haven't you?" She watched him tense, and then, relaxing somewhat, she told him, "I'm not concerned by them. I figured they were normal. But then, they don't make me want blood. Not to the point of even thinking about killing, let alone more. And no, I don't wake up hungry...no more than is normal, I guess." She stepped toward Nick, who still had his back to her. "Something's bothering you about this." He didn't answer. "Nick, what else happened?" "The night she killed, she fed from me. I let her take my blood in an attempt to help calm her hunger. She feel asleep after that, then killed before she even knew what she was doing...she didn't even know if she really had killed or not." "You're blaming yourself, aren't you?" she asked, taking yet another step closer, until she was close enough to reach out and touch him. "Before she had my blood, all she did was dream." Natalie put a hand on his shoulder, trying to loosen the muscles there some, but he pulled away. "Nick, it's not your fault." Nick shook his head. "It is, Natalie. I should have sensed something when she took my blood. I should have known what was going on in her thoughts, even before then. I should have noticed." "Why? Because LaCroix seems to be able to read your thoughts?" Natalie walked around him. "Yes, there's a link between us, between you and Tracy and you and me. But Nick, you and LaCroix...he's had centuries to learn your thought processes, and I'm going to bet he did that on purpose. It's different with you and Tracy. And, Nick, you did notice. If you hadn't noticed, you wouldn't have had LaCroix follow her before when you thought she wasn't in enough control." Closing his eyes, Nick told her, "I just don't like this. I don't like any of this." "Does it have to do with the whole idea that she's killed?" "Not...precisely. I don't know how to help her. I...I never really learned what she needs to learn." "Which is?" "Dealing with the hunger. I had trouble ah...going hungry for even a short time. But I had LaCroix and Janette there, and it wasn't like I could just pour a glass whenever I felt a touch too hungry." "So Tracy's not really hungry, then? More the opposite." Nick nodded. "Exactly. She's been drinking too much blood. And feeding more like that just makes us feral, dangerous even. It makes us want more blood than we need, and we get used to it. You've seen what it can do." Nick shut his eyes. "And she can't handle it, Nat." "Can't handle what?" In a whisper, Nick stated, "The guilt, all the thoughts and emotions that come with killing. I mean, I've always had trouble with it, most of us do to some degree, but she can't. She had blocked it out, completely, rather than dealt with it." With that, Nick turned his attention back to the road, glancing only occasionally over at Natalie. As they arrived at the address given to them, Nick and Natalie got out and were stopped by a detective already on the scene--who they were taking the case from. While the detective held Nick up, asking why Nick had been assigned the case, Natalie continued to the victim. Approaching the body and pulling up the sheet covering the woman, Natalie's gaze locked on the woman's neck and the very blatant wounds. A vampire had certainly killed her. With the new knowledge that Tracy had killed the man brought to the morgue recently, Natalie took a quick and discrete measurement of the wounds. It was identical to the wounds on the man. "Nat?" Looking up, Natalie jumped slightly seeing Nick there. In a whisper, she told him, "I'm not entirely sure, but the wounds are very similar to those on the man Tracy killed. Not that that means anything." "Tracy is with LaCroix. He wouldn't let her out of his sight long enough for something like this to happen." "Could he have, I don't know, encouraged this?" Nick hesitated, but shook his head. "No, I don't think he would." Taking a deep breath, Nick again shook his head, but pulled out his cell phone to call LaCroix. In Excess - (10/11) When Tracy returned to work, Nick kept an eye on the Captain's office. He still hadn't talked to the Captain about what they were-- specifically to ask him to not comment about it to Tracy. At least he had the impression that Elliott preferred to remain quiet on that. But, he also hadn't talked to Tracy about the new case, and he hoped to keep it that way. She didn't have to know, as Elliott had pretty much given him the go ahead to not follow up too much on it if it were a vampire that killed her. But how would this work? Really? But then, would he really do anything different than if the possibility hadn't been brought to his attention? "You haven't said anything to me yet. Or asked...." Nick looked up and over to Tracy, dropping his line of thought. "About what?" "About anything." "I assumed you didn't want to talk." "I don't, but--" Tracy signed. "LaCroix said something to me before I left tonight, when I mentioned I wasn't sure about continuing to work, and it surprised me. He mentioned...I probably shouldn't repeat this...but that he was unaware of any vampires that spent years at a time in the same life and in such a, ah, I think he said stressful job, torturing themselves on various levels. I'm sure he was referring to you, Nick. Is that really what it's like for you?" "It's not always...pleasant. But I don't always work around mortals, Tracy." "But--" Tracy cut off, seeing Lauren starting for her and Nick. "Autopsy report," Lauren quickly stated before leaving unusually quick. Nick, his attention broken, stared at the file. When Tracy reached for it, he pulled the file closer. A quick glance told him it was the case he'd been assigned to while Tracy was off. While he knew Tracy couldn't have killed her, he still dreaded this. In a whisper, Tracy asked, "Is that...? LaCroix mentioned the guy, he ended up in the morgue, Natalie--" "No, that's not our case. And his death won't be linked to you or, likely, anyone else." "But?" Tracy prodded, sensing Nick was keeping something from her. "Nick?" Nick held out the report for Tracy to take. As she opened it up, he quietly told her, "A vampire did kill her." And then, once Tracy had looked calmly at the report and placed it on her desk, he decided now was as good a time as any. "And Elliott knows what we are." Tracy froze, certain she had heard that wrong. "He knows?" "He's apparently read about some of my cases in Toronto, somehow even saw a picture of me. We also met several decades ago. He put it together." "Can't you just--" Nick shook his head. "He talked to both me and Natalie...he figured us both out from the reports he read. He didn't say much on you, but he did suspect and he did ask." Seeing that Tracy was now becoming angry, he softly hissed, "There was nothing I could do. I do need to talk to him again, but I'm going to do it alone and not while we're working. I want to make sure he knows how dangerous his knowledge is." "Does he, ah, know what I did?" "No. And it will remain that way. I told him flatly that we--myself, Natalie and you--do not kill." "I didn't kill that woman, Nick. I'm sure of it," Tracy immediately stated, defensively. "I know." Nick looked away. "He made no mention of the other, the man you killed. I think he just wanted reassurance we won't cause him any problems." Taking the file back from Tracy, he closed it and, frustrated, dropped it on the corner of his desk. "It's just bad timing." Watching her partner sift through the papers on his desk, Tracy stated, "I haven't had any nightmares the past two nights. I feel a bit...off, though." Tracy glanced around the room. Since Nick had stopped talking, she was having trouble not focusing on those around her. She didn't like being hungry, not when around others. "It will get better." "Will it?" Nick paused before answering. "You will learn to control your thoughts and worry. It will always be there. But just like you can't allow hesitation as a cop, you can't overly think this, either." Tracy absently nodded. Then, after a moment she asked, "So the woman...." "I'll deal with that case, Tracy. I'm sure he'll be fine with that." *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Nick closed his eyes from where he stood across the street from Elliott's home. He disliked confronting the other, but he had to make sure the risks were clear--for all of them. As Nick saw Elliott's car pull into the driveway, he flew over to the car, pulling the door open, startling the mortal within. "Nick, you...what are you doing here?" Elliott asked, getting out of his car and shutting the door. "We have to talk." "Then come in, I've been wanting to introduce you to my wife sometime, now is as good a time as--" When Elliott started for the door of his house, Nick stopped the other. "Here, alone." For a moment, the only sound Elliott heard was the rustle of a light wind. "This is about me knowing who you are?" "In a way, yes." "What you are--" "Is very dangerous knowledge to possess." Nick turned and took a step away. "I need to know, right now, who you've talked to about this, and what you've said to them." "I've told no one what you are. I did tell Lauren Fields to back off, but I would have done that, anyway. And I'd be labelled a laughing stock if I suggested vampires were real, I'm sure you're aware of that." Again facing Elliott, Nick unblinkingly told him, "*You still know far too much,*" testing the other's willpower. "And you're telling me this because?" Nick took in a deep breath. The question told him that, resistor or not, Elliott wouldn't forget what he was easily. "As I stated, knowledge of what I am is very dangerous." Elliott stood, uncomfortable, under the other's gaze. It hadn't been often that Nick had made him feel uneasy like this, and it was...unnerving. "I ask that you do not speak of this to anyone, not even Tracy or Natalie. If you have or come across anything that concerns any of us, speak to me. And don't do what you did on our most recent case. I won't simply gloss over a case because it hits close." "So it was a vampire that killed her." Nick tensed, trying not to show his anger at the other for asking. "Yes. Know that we have our own rules, our own laws, Captain. And we deal with our own. Don't get involved." By now, Elliott had stiffened, the other's tone and stance far harsher than he'd ever seen from his detective. "And if I do?" "Please, don't." Nick again averted his gaze. "If others of my kind think you will endanger us, I won't be able to stop it. I shouldn't be talking to you, as it is." Nick turned and walked back across the street. "Nick!" Elliott called, a bit taken aback by the statements. Nick, however, didn't look back, instead continuing until he was in shadow and out of the other's line of sight, at which he took off into the near-dawn sky. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. The following night, Nick stiffened as he saw LaCroix enter the precinct. Immediately, he stood and approached the other, taking LaCroix by the arm and leading him back outside. Walking a short distance from the building's main entrance, Nick hissed, "You shouldn't be here, LaCroix." "Why? Because your police Captain knows what you and your children are?" Nick closed his eyes and looked away. "Tracy told you." "Yes, she did. And I am surprised you have said nothing to me regarding this--" "I'm dealing with it, LaCroix. He's no danger to us, or other vampires." Nick paused, and when the other made no attempt to either reply or leave, he asked, "So why are you here, LaCroix?" "The woman found killed by one of us, she was a regular at my club, a...friend of several of us." "Was she killed on purpose?" "It was an accident, apparently," LaCroix replied, his voice hinting on a tinge of amusement. Ignoring the other's partial grin, Nick stated, "I don't want any more accidents popping up in the morgue, LaCroix. Not ones so obvious it's clear even to the mortals what killed them, even if they don't dare voice their thoughts." As LaCroix turned to leave, Nick whispered, "How is Tracy doing?" LaCroix stopped, but didn't turn back to face his son. "She's still staying with you, yes?" "Yes." Slowly spinning to look at Nick, LaCroix continued, "She is doing as best as can be suspected." Seeing his son's concern, he smiled. "She is doing quite well, given the decrease in her blood intake. Other than silently 'complaining' about her hunger with her actions, she is fine." "Have her nightmares stopped?" "Yes." LaCroix again started to leave, but paused. "I will not allow her to stay any longer than necessary." "And how long will that be?" "Until she chooses to leave or I...tire of her." LaCroix softly laughed. "She is quieter than you were, but I believe her...concerns are stronger. She is still uncertain of much. Not what she is or what she must do, but trivial matters." "And what have you told her?" "Nothing." With that, LaCroix flew out of sight, leaving the other alone. Nick took in a deep breath, slowly exhaling. Tracy had said very little to him, other than that she didn't want him at LaCroix'. He had believed this to be a preference of LaCroix' and not Tracy's, but apparently his refusal of her request had possibly been harsher on her than he expected. Still tense, Nick headed back inside. Only time would determine what would happen. In Excess - (11/11) Nick and Tracy headed as calm as they could into the victim's apartment, Tracy pausing for a split-second before accompanying Nick over to Natalie, who was kneeling next to the victim. Tracy looked around Nick to see the woman's slit wrists and the blood lost from the wounds. She simultaneously felt hungry and sick. While the last three weeks she had spent at LaCroix' had gone well, going back to her apartment a couple of days before, had been far harder than she had expected. "I'm sorry, I have to go." And with that, she turned and headed out of the apartment. Natalie stood and started after Tracy...until Nick took her by the arm. "Nat, let her go. I'll talk to her later." Natalie stopped, but whispered to Nick, "You know, she's getting too-- " "Apprehensive. Yeah, I know. LaCroix made note of it after she returned to work." "Are you sure you don't want me to talk to her?" "For now, yes." Nick hesitated, but added, "If she's uncomfortable talking to me, I'll suggest she talk to you, if that's okay?" "Yeah, yeah, it's fine." Before Nick could get out another word, an officer walked up to him and handed him an evidence bag, then quickly stated that the knife inside was found next to the victim. Nick absently nodded, his thoughts still lingering on Tracy's quick departure. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Arriving back at the precinct, Nick was faintly surprised that Tracy wasn't waiting for him. Finishing out the rest of his shift, hoping that Tracy maybe went to Natalie and they were too busy talking to call him, Nick headed home. After parking, however, Nick got out, shut the door, and after one more moment of hesitation, he flew toward Tracy's apartment. Again considering his best approach, Nick eventually decided to knock on her door. A mere twenty seconds passed before the door opened, although Tracy didn't tell him anything or even stay by the door as he entered. Shutting the door behind him, Nick asked, "Do you want to talk about what happened?" "No. No, I know what happened." "Natalie said she'd like you to talk to her, if you'd feel more comfortable?" "It's not that, I just...I don't know, Nick." Tracy sank down onto her sofa, pulling her feet up next to her. "I didn't plan to leave like that, Nick. And I did want to go back to the precinct, but felt I shouldn't. I just needed some time alone." Nick nodded, taking a couple of steps toward Tracy, but he didn't sit down. "You didn't have to go with me to talk to Nat." "Yes, I did. It's part of my job, Nick! I can't just...do what I feel like doing." Looking to the floor, Tracy whispered, "I shouldn't have left." "Tracy--" "I should have waited outside." Seeing her partner step closer, Tracy shook her head. Once he stopped, she flatly told him, "I'm fine Nick. You don't have to stay." "I can if you'd like." "No, I...I'd rather you didn't. I think I just need to be alone, away from anyone." "LaCroix can be a bit...oppressive." "It's not that. I mean, in a way it is, I guess, but we pretty much avoided each other." "But you want to be free of others...interrupting your thoughts?" Tracy looked up, a bit surprised. She could see the disappointment on Nick's face, though, even feel it. "It's fine, Tracy. We have tomorrow night off, at least. That should help." Absently, her attention again straying from Nick, Tracy nodded. She was glad of that. Feeling Nick hovering, she was about to ask if he'd mind leaving when he turned and started for the door. Seconds later, he was gone. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Two nights later, Nick arrived at work only to be immediately called into Captain Elliott's office, the door pulled shut behind him. As soon as he had Nick alone, Elliott asked, "Did you know she was going to do this?" "Tracy?" Nick tentatively asked, knowing full well what Elliott meant. Tracy wasn't there, and he had a feeling she wouldn't be. "Your partner quit. She came in here just before dawn this morning and resigned." Nick didn't meet the other's gaze. "You knew about this?" "No. She didn't tell me." "But you're not surprised." Nick looked up as Elliott stopped in front of him. "Not especially." Elliott turned and walked to his desk. Sitting, he demanded, "Is she serious?" "If you're asking if I think she'll change her mind, no, I don't think she will. It's probably for the best." After shaking his head, still a bit stunned by the change, Elliott told Nick, "I'll have to assign you another partner, assuming you're staying?" "Yeah, I'm staying." Then, locking gazes with Elliott, Nick intoned, "*And I don't need a partner. I'm fine on my own.*" "You'll be getting a new partner, Nick," Elliott firmly stated, not even noticing the other's attempt at influencing him. "You can work alone until then, but it will be temporary. I don't want any arguments on that." Nick tensed, his suggestion not even making a dent. "What cases do you have open?" A bit surprised by the question, Nick took a moment before stating, "Just the Blankenship suicide." Elliott slowly nodded, then recommended, "Why don't you take the night off. Do whatever...get your thoughts reorganised, talk to her, whatever." Elliott stood and went to the door, opening it, and then left his office. "Thanks, Captain," Nick said, catching the other's attention. Elliott gave a slight smile to his detective, then continued on his way. Nick closed his eyes, wondering which of Elliott's suggestions he should take. Home, to think, or to Tracy's? After a moment, he decided on the latter. It was something he would need to do soon, whether she wished to be alone or not. *+.*+.*+.*+.*+. Nick found Tracy not at her apartment, but at LaCroix' club, sitting alone at a table in the corner. He cautiously approached, taking care to keep his expression as friendly as possible without appearing too happy, given his reason for coming. "Hi," Tracy whispered, not looking up at Nick. "I'm sorry I quit without telling you." "It's fine." "No, it's not fine." Nick shook his head, sitting at the table next to her. "Tracy, you did nothing wrong. You made a choice, and I can understand your reasons." "But Natalie...she's doing fine with--" "She has different life experiences," Nick quickly stated, not wanting this to turn into a comparison. "There's nothing wrong with wanting or needing to do something different. It's normal." "But I want to work with you at the precinct. I like being a detective." "Maybe it's just not the right time? There is nothing wrong with waiting, with finding out that now isn't the right time for one career or another. I know what it feels like, I've done it." When Nick didn't continue, Tracy relaxed. Then, slowly, she started, "LaCroix said he'd let me work here, at the club." Nick, surprised that LaCroix would offer such a thing, tensed, then faintly nodded. "Are you going to?" "For now, yeah. He told me that I'd have to get some more appropriate clothes, though." Tracy managed a smile, her eyes focusing on the smooth surface of the table. "He said I dress too much like a mortal." Nick leaned in, also smiling. "Nothing wrong with that, is there?" "Not really. But he's right that I can't wear this to work," Tracy said, looking down at her light pink shirt and jeans. Nick grinned, glad to see some of Tracy's humour coming back, then stood up. "Before you go, LaCroix wants to talk to you." In an instant, Nick's good mood vanished. LaCroix wanted to see him...why couldn't that wait? Nodding to Tracy, he headed toward the bar, quickly spotting LaCroix sitting at one end, watching them. As his son approached, LaCroix started, "She told you?" "Yeah. Not before Elliott explained it, though." "Ah, your mortal friend." "He's not my friend, LaCroix, he's my boss." "Yes, but have you dealt with him?" "He's a resistor." Seeing LaCroix' eyes narrow, he leaned forward and whispered, "He is not a threat to us." LaCroix took in a deep breath, looking away. "Then we will not discuss it." After a short pause, LaCroix commented, "Your...'daughter' is disappointed in her lack of control." "Is that why you offered her work?" "No. Business is up and my bartender wants fewer hours," LaCroix said, gesturing to the young man behind the bar. Turning back to Nick, he asked, "This change doesn't affect anything else, does it? Perhaps a wish to leave?" "No, I'm staying, LaCroix. Natalie's here, and--" "And Tracy?" "I was going to say you," Nick softly retorted. LaCroix stiffened, but relaxed when his son's mood brightened. "But whatever the case, I don't want to leave, nor am I planning to do so. You don't have to worry about me up and vanishing anytime soon." LaCroix stood and, with a smirk, headed out of the club. ~finis~ Okay, done. And thanks for reading. :) And, sorry, no, there won't be another one of these! Dark or white chocolate, vampires, thoughts, comments, suggestions, etc. welcome at: jarvinia@gmx.com